Who can we count on? This is a question that each person asks themselves throughout life. As children we know we can count on our parents since most of our needs are relatively small.
As we grow up we face our own challenges, and make our own mistakes as well. These mistakes have ramifications that sometimes leave us quite alone and distant from most of the people we know.
If a small child brakes a plate or spills something at the table, the damage is small and the side effects from the event are not great. In the worst case, you will need to replace the plate or wash the tablecloth. However, the mistakes and damages a child does when they are grown, have very great side effects. Your child still remains your child, but the question is, how much is a parent willing or able to endure?
I firmly believe that how one’s parents treated them when they were growing up, they in return will treat their children the same way. Possibly with slight differences, but the basis is the same. If you received a lot of love and support growing up. It will show later on while you are trying to bring up a family of your own.
I will start by saying that my parents and grandparents (grandparents are like parents as well) brought me up in the best way possible, and gave me everything I needed.
As an adult I made my own choices and suffered greatly from mistakes that I made, whether intentionally or not. Through thick and thin, and there was a lot of thick times in my choices, my parents were always there for me without any exception.
Life moves on and my own children grew up and once again it was now their choices, and their mistakes that were being made. However, just as my parents did, despite the great mistakes made, I stood by them.
About a year and a half ago one of my children had challenges and made some horrible choices in his bad condition. For the last year or so I found myself standing behind him in situations I don’t wish upon any parents anywhere.
This past week I went to court to be there with my son. There was a certain moment that the judge turned to me and said, “You are his mother. You have been here throughout this very trying year and you have seen what has been going on with your son. We want to give him a second chance, however we don’t know him enough and we don’t trust him. What do you have to say regarding your son?”
All eyes turned to me especially those of my son. I looked around and then said to the judge.
“I have attended every court session, and have seen the ups and downs of my son. I left this room many times crying and others just very sad and frustrated. I am in constant contact with him, and I have seen the hard year and more that he went through. I trust my boy and I believe in him and in the new and straight path that he wishes to enter. Please give him a chance.”
I then turned to my son and said to him, “I am here for you and you can count on me.”
There was silence in the court. The two judges looked at him as if to say that they also see the great change that he went through. They then turned to the prosecutor and asked her if she saw any difference in my boy.
She wanted the judges to throw the book at him.
It was the first time that the judges didn’t agree with the prosecutor. I really felt the miracles of the month of Adar and the holiday of Purim approaching. To go into a court that each time yelled and rebuked my son for his mistakes, finally saw the light and the repentance that he has been doing all along.
The story of Purim took place over many years. True, we read it in about half an hour. However, the time span of the story in Shushan, was quite lengthy. We have to remember the past, but we also have to give the children of Israel strength and direction in whatever they are doing. Whether they succeed or fail. Our heritage and history are always there to make sure we never give up.
The Jews in Shushan were doomed, and Mordechai and Queen Esther saved the day. This is to tell all of the children of Israel that no matter how grim and gray things seem there will always be people, maybe even just one person, but there will always be someone there that Hashem will send you, that you can count on.
Thank you Hashem for letting me be there for my son. And for letting him know that there is at least one person in this world that he can count on no matter what.