“Yaakov said [to Eisav]: Sell your birthright to me.” (Bereishis 25:31)
The Torah tells us that Eisav sold his birthright to Yaakov for a plate of lentil stew. We learn further from the words of the pasuk (25:34), “He ate and drank, got up and left, and Eisav despised the birthright” that Eisav ate without washing netilas yadayim for the bread Yaakov gave him, he drank without a bracha, he rose from eating without birchas hamazon, and he left without kissing the mezuzah. He ultimately left without any mitzvos.
What does it mean he despised the birthright?
The Medrash explains that Eisav came with a group of rowdy men who ridiculed Yaakov for giving up a good dish of lentil stew for olam haba. Yet when Eisav learned that Yaakov had taken the brachos from Yitzchak that were intended for him, “he cried out an exceedingly great and bitter cry” (Bereishis 27:34), because, he asserted that Yaakov had defrauded him twice – taking his birthright and now taking his blessing.
What did Eisav mean that Yaakov had taken his birthright? Eisav had sold it in return for the lentil stew, and even derided his innocence in the transaction. The great mashgiach HaRav Yechezkel Levenstein comments that when the plate was full, olam haba seemed insignificant. But now that the plate was empty, Eisav’s joy turned into a bitter cry. The plate of lentil stew, explains the mashgiach, refers to the pleasures that tempt us in this world; the birthright refers to the Torah and mitzvos that lead us to olam haba.
The Steipler Gaon says this concept is already found in the first parsha of Bereishis. After Chava ate from the fruit of Tree of Knowledge, she quickly gave Adam to eat from it as well, and Rashi explains that she was afraid she would die and Adam would live and marry someone else.
The Steipler asks: If Chava was afraid of dying, why did she eat from the Tree of Knowledge? After all, the Serpent convinced her that she wouldn’t die after he pushed her into the Tree, and assured her that just as she didn’t die from touching the tree, she would not die if she ate from its fruit. What changed her mind?
The Steipler notes that desire affects the intellect. At the moment when Chava saw the luscious fruit of the Tree of Knowledge that was pleasing and appealing to the eye, she was easily persuaded that she would not die if she ate the fruit. But once the desire was satisfied, and the fruit had been eaten, she realized that she could in fact die.
These two incidents are fundamental truths about the human mind. When a person avidly desires something in this world, olam haba seems insignificant. But as soon as his desire is gratified, a bitter cry emanates from his soul.
The Rav’s Advice
Before Rosh Hashanah, a young man who had strayed very far from Yiddishkeit was brought to one of the Torah giants in Yerushalayim. His heartbroken parents begged the Rav to speak to their son. The young man had once been a shining star and top student in the yeshiva. Unfortunately, though, he met up with the wrong crowd and slowly began a spiritual decline. Eventually, it became almost impossible to discern in him any glimmer of his former self. He no longer had any spiritual connection at all.
The Rambam states that if one faces unmanageable desires he should learn Torah and delve its wisdom in order to shield himself. The Rav spoke of this but the young man was unyielding, and the Rav’s warm words of inspiration had no impact.
“Honored Rav,” said the young man, “you don’t understand my desperate situation, and I don’t want to change. I don’t want to listen to any mussar; it doesn’t interest me. I have already gone through a lot. I cannot find a way to deal with my challenges, and they constantly pursue me. Just leave me alone!”
The Rav was undeterred. He silently prayed that the sincere tears of the family should be accepted in Heaven and he begged for Divine insight to be able to offer advice that would appeal to the young man and save his pure soul.
Mercifully, his prayers were quickly answered, and the Rav turned to the young man: “We are now approaching the Yomim Noraim when the entire Jewish Nation crowns Hashem as king over the entire world. The first condition of accepting the Kingdom of Heaven is to heed the commandments of the King by doing mitzvos. In that way we begin to destroy the dominion of the lower world, of the spiritually unclean.
“You have admitted to me that you are governed by your desires, and it is too difficult for you to extricate yourself. I have one suggestion that will help you prevail over the rule of your desires. It is not difficult and doesn’t require much effort. Whenever you are tempted by a desire that is forbidden according to the Torah, I only ask you not to concede immediately to your desires, but wait for a short amount of time before you capitulate. Each time you do this, intellectualize that you are not allowing yourself to be ruled by your desires.”
The young man agreed that it was not too much to ask, and he slowly began to practice this exercise. He would wait ten minutes and sometimes even another ten minutes, to demonstrate that the desires did not dominate him. Slowly, but surely, its sovereignty lost its strength, and the power of desire weakened.
The young man continued to follow the Rav’s advice and eventually found his way back to Torah and mitzvos.