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Incidentally, it just so happens that she and her family have recently moved out of state to a new community. Rachel, right now I need to know how to deal with the heaviness on my heart that’s becoming more acute as we get close to Yom Kippur, a time for healing rifts, not deepening them.

Feel justified, but still….

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Dear Justified,

You’ve often stretched yourself thin for the benefit of your sister’s wellbeing and your kindness was surely appreciated, even if the extent of your devotion may not have been fully grasped. Just a thought: Can her disorders be a contributing factor in her admittedly odd behavior?

Sometimes it is difficult to see the forest for the trees, but the solution to your quandary actually lies in the last paragraph of your letter. Your sister’s move to another state provides you with the perfect icebreaker; you can send her a New Year card containing a generic greeting for a good, sweet year and an added personal note wishing the family mazel in their new home.

In this way you will have done the right thing without sacrificing your self-respect. Furthermore, the ball will now be in her court. Whether she picks it up or chooses not to, you will know in your heart that you have done all you can and then some.

To all our readers: During these ten days of repentance, it is appropriate for each of us to search our hearts for any slights we may have committed, unintended or other, and to make amends accordingly. In this vein, I beg forgiveness from any reader who may have taken any of my remarks out of context or was offended by them.

Wishing all of Klal Yisrael a G’Mar Chasima Tova!

* * * * *

We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to  [email protected]  or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.


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