Setting aside the scientific components of gray matter in males versus females, we are fortunate to be guided by the blueprint of the Torah that clarifies for us all of life’s conundrums. Moreover, excessive mourning is deemed improper and a lack of faith in Hashem. As Jews, we are furthermore exhorted to take joy in living and in the ability to obey G-d’s commandments. “Ivdu es Hashem b’simcha” (serve Hashem with gladness) is more than just the words of a song – it is to be taken literally by male and female alike.
Finally, can anyone sit in judgment of the alman or almanah and purport to feel the pain of one who sustains the loss of a life partner? Circumstances involving young children are particularly heartrending. Rather than denigrate, we should celebrate the widow or widower’s good fortune to encounter her or his zivug sheini.
In the merit of our nonjudgmental approach and our compassion for the suffering souls among us, may Hashem spare us from heartbreak and grant each of us a long, productive and simcha’dik life.