In the previous columns, we laid out the mechanics of bitachon. Now, we begin the step-by-step protocol to confront anxiety and fear head-on—starting with a powerful, science-backed technique to intercept anxiety the moment it strikes and shift both body and brain out of panic mode.
Step 1: The Relaxation Response
Whenever anxiety strikes, intercept the physiological response immediately: smile, inhale deeply, unclench your jaw, and drop your shoulders. Then, shift into slow, deliberate breaths, focusing fully on their rhythm. This simple yet powerful adjustment engages the prefrontal cortex, disrupts the body’s stress response, and pulls us out of anxiety mode.
Many Torah sources emphasize deep, measured breathing to quiet the body and awaken the soul, reflecting the connection between neshama (soul) and nishima (breath). The Zohar (Bereishis 91b) notes that the soul is sustained by breath, and R’ Chaim Vital writes that focused breathing is essential to attaining higher states of spiritual awareness (Eitz Chaim, Shaar Ruach HaKodesh, ch. 4).
Research shows that the body needs only 90 seconds to process anxiety—even in high-stress situations. After that initial surge, anxiety-related chemicals begin to dissipate naturally. Any distress that lingers beyond that point isn’t physiological—it’s fueled by rumination. The key is to catch it early and break the loop before it spirals.
This connection between body and mind is not incidental—it is fundamental. The principle of embodied cognition reveals that thought is not merely influenced by physiology but often originates from it. The brain reads signals from the body to determine its emotional state. When we consciously relax—releasing our muscles, slowing our breath—we aren’t just responding to calmness; we are creating it. This physical shift sends a direct message to the brain: The situation is non-threatening. It is safe to let go. And once the brain receives that signal, it follows suit.
When we act in alignment with the state we want to be in—even if we don’t feel it yet—we train the mind to follow the lead of the body. This isn’t self-deception; it’s self-direction. The brain rewires based on patterns, not intentions. So if we consistently show up with patience, calm, or strength, those become the dominant traits our brain defaults to. This is why halacha emphasizes external behavior: it shapes internal reality. We don’t wait to feel something holy to act in a holy way. We act—and the feeling follows. This is how bitachon becomes real in the body.
An incongruous expression or response compels the “thinking brain” to re-engage, aligning our feelings with our behavior rather than the other way around. The tenet that our emotional world is shaped by our external actions underlies Ramchal’s observation that “the outward act awakens the internal” and the Sefer HaChinuch’s statement that “minds are shaped by deeds.” As the Mesillas Yesharim (ch. 8) explains, the heart is drawn after our actions, and the Sefer HaChinuch writes: “A person becomes who he is based on his actions. His thoughts and intentions follow his behavior—whether for good or for evil” (Mitzvah 16; see also Horeb, Teshuvah 79).
From Part I, we recall that the backbone of bitachon is action. When we maintain self-control in the face of a challenging situation, we become calmer and less anxious. The Rambam writes that someone prone to anger must practice extreme restraint—even when provoked—to uproot the trait from his heart. And this method applies to all emotional imbalances: if a person leans too far in one direction, the path to healing is by training himself to go to the opposite extreme until he returns to balance (Hilchos Deios 2:2–3).
It is not the circumstance itself that determines our emotional state, but our response to it. Whether it’s anxiety, anger, or any other emotion, the underlying psychological pattern is the same: uncontrolled expression intensifies the emotion rather than relieves it. This principle challenges the long-held belief that emotions—especially anger—must be “released” to prevent them from building up. For years, conventional thinking likened the mind to a steam kettle: pressure builds until it explodes. Psychologists once encouraged people to “let it out” by venting their anger. But extensive research has shown that expressing anger in this way is not only ineffective—it’s harmful. Venting tends to make people feel worse, raising their blood pressure and amplifying their anger.
Coming Up Next…
We’ve seen how regulating the body helps calm the mind. In the next column, we’ll shift focus to the power of attention. When we dwell on a negative thought, we inflate its importance and give it the energy to take root. The faster we redirect our focus, the less power anxiety has over us. But not all diversions are equal. We’ll explore why gratitude isn’t just a feel-good practice—it triggers a neurochemical cascade that can override anxious patterns in seconds. This next step is about mastering the mind by mastering what it chooses to focus on—and why that choice can change everything.
(To be continued)
