Photo Credit: Jewish Press

 

Aish, fire, is a powerful symbol. Fire represents anger, passion, and transformation. Fire is always an active state.

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Like fire, our passionate emotions can lead to behavior that has the potential to wreak destruction in our own lives and in the lives of those around us. Nonetheless, we must be aware of the opposite hazard, of being so controlled, rational and unemotional, that we lack the emotional warmth to connect with others or the drive to motivate us to do what we need to do.

We must remember that an uncontrolled fire is destructive and terrifying, but a controlled one is a tremendous object of beauty. Think, for example, of the Shabbos candles, which project a sense of calm and spiritual light on that special day.

There’s a famous Jewish teaching that the words for man and woman, ish and isha, both contain in them the letters that spell aish. In addition to the letters that spell aish, ish has the letter yud and isha the letter hey. Yud followed by hey spells one of the names of Hashem. The lesson to be learned from all this is that both a man and a woman have the fires of passion within them. These fires can burn without constraint and result in impulsive choices or angry outbursts. However, if a man and a woman come together with the organizing influence of Hashem, the fire in both of them can burn with the beauty of Shabbos candles, and bring forth tremendous light into the world, including deep mutual love and a beautiful family.


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Michael Milgraum is an attorney, psychologist and author, who has a private psychology practice in Kensington, MD. His most recent book “To Seek a Larger Spirit: Reflections of a Jewish Psychologist,” is a collection of his poems about psychology, Torah and spirituality.