It always felt cool to be a Levi, even if I am one for the same reason I’m a Chicago Cubs fan: because my father was one, and his father was one, and so on, until you go back to the original Cubs fan: Levi, the co-Shechem-destroyer.
Unlike other tribes that were given a specific area of Israel, Leviim were assigned 48 cities all over the land, six of which were designated as arei miklat (cities of refuge for accidental murderers). I can only assume there were signs outside these cities that read, “It’s been X days since our last involuntary manslaughter.” This explains why there are so many Leviim actuaries.
One perk is that on Simchas Torah, being a Kohen or Levi is like having TSA PreCheck. I know I just got here five minutes ago and I get an aliyah all the time, but I guess I’ll go straight to the front of the line.
One time while at a Shacharis minyan in Israel, I’d forgotten they do Bircas Kohanim every day. As the sole Levi, I had to wash all of the Kohanim’s hands. They seemed pretty annoyed having to wait, wondering, “Hey, can we just do this ourselves?” I was like, “No, this creates jobs.” I felt like a gas station attendant in New Jersey.
