Photo Credit: Jewish Press

Imagine your husband spontaneously brings home roses.

That is sweet and all, except they are roses, and… well… roses aren’t your favorite flower.


Your response options:

Outright criticism.

Thank him verbally but imply disappointment.

Or lie.

The best option, however, is to genuinely thank him for his thoughtfulness.

Here, the husband physically gives. But if she responds with gratitude, the wife spiritually gives.

When we learn to receive graciously, men will feel respected and grow more capable of pleasing us.

Our relationship to our spouses is analogous to Hashem’s relationship with us.

When we are grateful and express it, we expand our own vessel, thereby making ourselves larger to receive more.

Do we want to have an 8 oz cup of G-dly blessings or only a 4 oz cup?

So, let’s go ahead and thank our spouses whether we like the roses or not.

And let’s thank Hashem for all that He does, even if we can not immediately see the benefit.

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Sarah Pachter is a motivational speaker, columnist, kallah teacher, dating coach, and the author of "Is it Ever Enough?" (published by Feldheim) and "Small Choices Big Changes" (published by Targum Press). She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and five children.