An Open Letter to Sarah Silverman
Latest update: October 19th, 2012
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tell a friend
Dear Sarah,
You have grown political as of late, and your politics have traction. Your YouTube video “Let My People Vote” has been viewed more than 1.4 million times. You have 3.4 million Twitter followers apparently eager to consume your mix of sexual references and political barbs.
I wouldn’t be writing these words had your most recent video not been framed in biblical language. Its title held deep significance to me, as I am sure was your intention.
Your name is Silverman. My name is Rosenblatt. We both have Jewish ancestors; I am not sure what else we share. You are good at what you do – comedy – and I try to be good at what I do – being a husband, dad, rabbi, and manufacturer of kosher meat. My wife and I are blessed with six children and my day is spent earning for the brood.
You stand out among comedians because your comedy is sharper than theirs. It is crude and clever, simple and punishing; your perception of the human condition is acute, which is why your punch lines bite deeper and hurt longer. You have a knack for finding faults and inconsistencies in people and blowing them wide open with carefully plotted language and cleverly nuanced pauses.
If I were to be gratuitous, I would say you mock what is imperfect because you know what perfect should look like and you seek the ultimate perfection.
But I won’t be so gratuitous. You are in show biz. I am in the rabbi biz. You entertain people. I serve people. I believe I have your number. You will soon turn 42 and your destiny, as you stated, will not include children. You blame it on your depression, saying you don’t want to pass it on to another generation.
I find that confusing, coming from someone as perceptive as you are in dissecting flawed arguments. Surely you appreciate being alive and surely, if the wonder of your womb were afflicted with your weaknesses and blessed with your strengths, it would be happy to be alive, too.
You said you wouldn’t get married until gay people can. Now they can. And you still haven’t married. I think, Sarah, that marriage and childrearing are not in the cards for you because you can’t focus on building life when you spend your days and nights tearing it down.
You have made a career making public that which is private, making crude that which is intimate, making sensual that which is spiritual. You have experienced what traditional Judaism taught long ago: when you make sex a public thing it loses its potency. When the whisper is replaced with a shout there is no magic to speak about. And, in my opinion, Sarah, that is why you have had trouble forging a permanent relationship – the most basic desire of the feminine soul.
Human beings have many acquaintances and fewer friends, but only one spouse. Judaism celebrates the monogamous, intimate relationship with a spouse as the prototype of the intimate relationship with God. Marriage, in Judaism, is holy. Family, in Judaism, is celebrated. But for you, nothing is holy; in your world, nothing is permanent. Your ideology is secular. Your culture may be Jewish, but your mind is not.
I think you have latched on to politics because you are searching for something to build. There is only so much pulling down one can do without feeling utterly destructive. You want to fight for a value so you take your belief – secularism – and promote it. As an Orthodox rabbi, I disagree with just about everything you say, but respect your right to say it. All I ask, respectfully, is that you not use traditional Jewish terminology in your efforts. Because doing so is a lie.
Nothing you say or stand for, Sarah, from your sickening sexual proposal to a Republican donor to your equally vulgar tweet to Mitt Romney, has the slightest thing to do with the most basic of tenets which Judaism has taught the world – that the monogamous relationship is the most meaningful one and that a happy marriage is the key to wholesomeness.
You are driven. You are passionate. I pray that you channel your drive and direct your passion to something positive, something that will make you a better and more positive person, something that will allow you to touch eternity and truly impact the world forever. I pray that you pursue marriage and, if you are so blessed, raise children.
tell a friendAbout the Author: Yaakov Rosenblatt, the author of two books, is a rabbi and businessman in Dallas.
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Wonderful Letter Rabbi, too bad Ms Silverman is a by product of such a bitter, crude and vulgar person Mr Silverman. Apples certainly do not fall far from the tree.
yeesh…what a yaakov!
It’s always so interesting how religious dogma infects the mind, Rabbi Yaakov Rosenblatt. You take aim at Miss. Silverman, who has done much to break down the global stereotype of how our people are seen. Your diatribe, which is more akin to verbal diarrhea then to anything remotely learned, is exactly the reason why so many of us are Jews by blood, atheist by choice.
And there’s the rub, isn’t it?
As more and more people, of all religions, creeds and cultures, wake up to the global madness of religiosity, that exodus significantly undermines your authority. So what do you do? Instead of engaging in private discourse with Miss. Silverman, you choose a public forum that speeds it up; talk about shoot yourself in the foot.
However, the saddest part of your ‘open letter’ is not only that yet again, another man denigrates a woman for her freedom of choice, but that you feel so threatened by all women. You are aware that women are not just baby machines, right? That they fly combat missions, fight on the front lines, are CEOs of corporations, are super successful comedians, and, in point of fact, are leaders of nations? I could go on, but might be belaboring the point.
Shalom.
This is an orthodox rabbi. Remember that and all that that implies. Forget wisdom, tolerance , compassion , enlightenment. He job is to protect his gig. That is to further the idea of the magical imaginary man in the sky to his follows or the very gullible. This imaginary man is sort of like an imaginary friend ( like a child would have ) except for adults. The rabbi sells himself as an interpreter and voice of the magical man’s will.
When you are obedient , you will be in gods good graces. What ever that ambiguous line means.
The bottom line for this rabbi is power and control…. and money. Noting more. He relies on your fear , and ignorance to keep you “inline”.
Let him explain ( not avoid and duck) the Holocaust. The lies will flow with elegance and sincerity. And it is all a load a crap.
This rabbi ( and the others like him) – steeped in 14 th century religious superstition are not in any way helping the Jewish people. They are helping themselves. if they were not peddling this line of bullshit they would be driving cabs and washing dishes.
BS”D
With all due respect to the rabbi whose smicha is to TEACH Torah not judge other Jews I must point out that to beat a fellow Jew over the head with Torah is sinas chinam. If the rabbi were REALLY concerned about Sarah he would have contacted her personally rather than spreading lashon hara in public. There is a BIG difference between a performer’s persona and her yiddishe neshama. What are these rabbi factories producing these days anyway?
Sir, I am a married woman who also did not have children because of a family history of depression and other mental illness. Frankly, no, there have been years on end when I was not happy to be alive and only my religion’s teaching on suicide and my own physical cowardice kept me alive. A child of my willful creation suffering what I have experienced is unthinkable. I respect people who have the sense to acknowledge and respect their limitations when the welfare of others is at stake. You are woefully ignorant on this topic and should ask for forgiveness of Miss Silverman. She is an American Master of comedy and deserves our respect.
I am glad you are not my Rabbi.
Living in Dallas, and having had similar experiences with DATA, I just have to say I think it is very odd that Rabbi Rosenblatt would choose to engage a perfect stranger for exercising her right as an American to express her political opinion. Next stop, Taliban city? Good for you Mr. Silverman, and just remember, when people are insecure about their own beliefs, that is when they want to monitor everyone else’s.
Ok, lets just leave religion out of it. ANYONE can see that Sarah Silverman is a bitter pseudo intellectual, who must of ‘grew up funny’. ooooo she’s sooo edgy…. more like… ooooo she’s soooo transparent….. just be glad your not her.
As a secular American Jew I agree that Sarah should not use traditional Jewish terminology in her efforts. Because doing so is a lie.
Dear Rabbi,
I find your letter interesting and I think that maybe you are coming from a good place, though I do think you are commenting on Sarah’s personal choices that are none of your business. I will agree with you that children are a definite blessing. God has blessed me to have seven and there are definitely wonderful aspects to raising children. I wonder though how involved you have been in more than just the “earning for the brood.” I, myself, had a husband who also spent his days “earning for the brood”, and, also, who was a man of God who ministered to people as well. I stayed home with our children and ministered to them. This was a choice that we made for our family and it worked out pretty well for us. But, as much as I appreciated my husband for all his hard work, he really didn’t have a clue as to what my days were really like on the frontlines with the 24/7 nitty gritty everyday work that goes into actually keeping all our children alive and thriving in the world. I know with an absolute certainty that I would love your wife and that we would probably get along really great and be able to share more than a few stories and maybe have quite a few laughs. We would probably instantly bond over war stories of what it is really like to be on those frontlines raising children. You, though, I think maybe you are like my husband. I am sure that you love your children with the depths of your soul, but I think your wife has been the one who has done most of the heavy day to day lifting and mind numbing chores that have kept your children’s bodies and souls together. You didn’t say how old your children are, so I am not sure how far along you are in the raising part. My oldest is 27 and my youngest is 13, so I have in the last few years been blessed to see the fruit begin to grow on the plants I tended for oh so many years. (My oldest has just started a three year fellowship for her Phd, and the next oldest just graduated from Harvard Law School. The younger five are still very much works in progress.) It is a truly amazing thing to have the privelege to be able to participate and witness a person becoming who God has meant them to be. I absolutely love the surprise of it all. But, that being said, there have many times, particularly when my kids were younger, that I thought I would lose my mind it was so incredibly difficult. Physically difficult, mentally difficult, and even spiritually difficult. My husband had his own difficulties earning the money that provided for our kids, and I don’t for a minute want to diminish that. The stress of that probably was one of the factors that led to his early death of a heart attack at the age of 52. But, although he helped out with the kids, he really did not know what my world was really like, and that often led him to criticize my experience, and even to devalue it. And in all fairness, I really didn’t know what his world was really like, nor did I really have total compassion for his experience. And that leads me back to your open letter. You are welcomed to your opinions about other peoples’ lives, but I don’t think you really should be writing a public letter to anyone sitting in judgement of their choices. It is extremely hard to really know what a person’s life is like, even someone in your own household, so far be it for you to judge someone you don’t even know personally. If God wants us to be anything towards others, then it is to be compassionate even when we really don’t understand or agree about what their life is or appears to be. But, that being said, I would really love to hear from your wife! I am sure she is an extraordinary woman!
Oh, NOEZ. Sarah Silverman doesn’t want to have bahbbies! What kind of a wuhmyn is she?
I want to know why childfree by choice people (okay, really, women) pose such a threat to certain segments of society. Our choice affects no one.
Dear Rabbi, I stand with you. May God bless you for standing up for what is right. As Don Colacho wrote, “The most subversive book in our time would be a compendium of old proverbs.” The comments here prove that to be true.
LIstening to all this jibberjabber between the Jews makes me wonder, why did we stop Hitler? anybody?
Wow. Condescending, lacking any real insight — not even well reasoned. Amazing how little this guy understands about how his words are perceived by others.
I tend to discount men or anyone whose essential argument to women is go and make babies, that’s your role. What a missed opportunity to convince anyone that you have anything to say.
Hey Rosenblatt–I’m a 47-year-old actress, writer, and amateur astronomer, and guess what? I’m single with no kids and deliriously happy. I’ve also been passionate about progressive politics and changing the world for more than 30 years. There is nothing more positive than doing all one can to make the world a better place. When I went to Occupy Wall Street at Zuccotti Park last year, I felt I was genuinely on holy ground, at a place where the bottom line was compassion rather than greed. There are many paths to fulfillment for women; not all of us are suited to marriage and children. Some of us love our freedom, and it would be wrong to push us into marriage if that path isn’t for us. The world already has seven billion people and counting, and we cannot even afford to have everybody reproduce. Please get your mind and priorities out of the Dark Ages and join the 21st century, where we recognize many equally valid paths to a meaningful and happy life.
First off, I’d like to say that neither Sarah nor Donald Silverman asked to be attacked, rebuked, denounced, or any other hate spewed in their direction by this “righteous and pious man”. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but to spew bile directed at the two of them is wrong. I find it ironic that many people in this publication and commenters on this site attack them as self loathing jews. All of you are guilty of the same. Even to question the halachic validity of her ancestry is engaging in hate/ division. All of you must recognize that the orthodox and haredi are but a small percentage of jews. To validate your attack according to shulchan aruch, tanach, gemorra, or any other religiously based rational can never be anything other than circular.
The fact of the matter is that she and her dad are jewish, halachically and otherwise. To say that they are not good jews is just not justifiable. It is engaging in self loathing just the same. Many jews have similar backgrounds and reject the religious aspects of judaism. However, rejecting the Silvermans for whatever reason is counterproductive.
Furthermore, the initial attack on Sarah was just as much an attack on her father and his parenting skills. His coming to her defense and the resulting letter fully demonstrate this. All of his daughters are a source of deep pride for him and rightly so. They are all successful and accomplished talents. I fully respect his response. Is he justified in his approach and language? If it were my family, I would have had less restraint than he had. I would have gone for the jugular and attacked that person/ people relentlessly.
With regard to her act, approaches to getting her point across, and blatant disregard for things you hold dear I would say, “so what” (or BFD might be more appropriate). She is fully entitled to perform and do as she does. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it. This is the USA and free expression should be prized. If nothing else, she is thought provoking. She joins a long history of performance in the avante guarde that engage in spitting on, urinating on and otherwise offending the audience. It has been long recognized as a valid form of expression.
Now, you people take offense in her doing this and identifying as a jew? She is somehow chastised for this. She identifies herself as a secular or cultural jew. Here is where the double standard applies.
Everyone is jumping on the bandwagon and condemning her for such action, behavior and performance. Where is the outcry about others who do this? Is it ok for Sacha Baron Cohen to do the same things and worse? Complicate that in the fact that he self identifies as an orthodox jew. Although he doesn’t wear a Kipah, he is generally considered observant. How can this not be more offensive? Why is Natalie Portman not chastised by you over her pre-marital sex and the like? Bar Rafaeli, for her relationship with DiCaprio? You grumble about halacha, but it’s only a problem with the Silvermans?
YOU ARE REPREHENSIBLE!
Lastly, as an ashkenaze jew, who can trace back generations on all sides of my family, and bar mitzvah’d in an orthodox shul. I understand her perspective on having children. I love my kids. I do my best to support them in all there endeavors. However, with the genepool that I’ve been given, her perspective comes easily. Her mother has an autoimmune blood disease and she chronic depression. I have Multiple Sclerosis, Gilbert’s, a congenital Hiatal Hernia and Dyslexia. My sister has MS, too. So did a great aunt. My son has already been diagnosed with dyslexia among other maladies. My daughter has chronic GERD. If I knew then, what I do now. I wouldn’t wish my maladies on anyone. My hopes are that they are not saddled with half my illnesses and maladies.
Sarah and her dad are to be celebrated. So are all other jews who contribute to this world. Rather than attacking and being divisive among all of these jews, this publication should serve to unify and celebrate.
Rant ended.
Without getting into this:
“You said you wouldn’t get married until gay people can. Now they can.”
Now gay people can get married — despite the best efforts of many Orthodox rabbis and organizations like the Va’ad ha’Rabbonim speaking vehemently at state legislature and private podium alike. If we were to follow this line of reasoning, aren’t right-wing politicians and lobbyists as responsible for Ms. SIlverman’s delaying her chuppah as anything else?
“Well now they can, so go get married!” Shoutout to absolving oneself…
Rabbi is right BUT nobody ask his opinion about Sarah.