web analytics
July 30, 2014 / 3 Av, 5774
Israel at War: Operation Protective Edge
 
 
Judaism
Sponsored Post
IDC Advocacy Room IDC Fights War on Another Front

Student Union opens ‘hasbara’ room in effort to fill public diplomacy vacuum.



Q & A: A Mother’s Mitzvah (Part II)


QuestionsandAnswers-logo

Question: I am a single mother of young children. Their father has shirked all his responsibilities to them. I do my best for my children, but it isn’t easy. Isn’t their father in serious violation of the Torah by neglecting his children and not making any effort to provide them an education?

No Name Please
(Via E-Mail)

Answer: Last week we learned from a mishnah (Kiddushin 29a) that a father has certain exclusive responsibilities to his children. One of those responsibilities is teaching them Torah. The Mechaber (Yoreh Deah 245:1-6) states that it is a Bbblical requirement for the father to educate his son himself or hire a teacher. The Meiri (Nazir 29) learns from R. Yochanan that besides for designating a child a nazir, a woman shares the obligations of child rearing, including education, with her husband. The Shitah Mekubetzes (Nazir ad loc.) cites the Gemara (Sukkah 2b) about Queen Helena training her minor children to eat in the sukkah, indicating that a mother is also obligated to educate her children in the performance of mitzvot.

* * *

While in agreement that a mother bears responsibility to educate her children, many commentators (Meromei Sadeh, Keren Orah, Chidushei Orach Mishor, and Hagahot Birkat Rosh to Nazir 28b) distinguish between obligatory precepts and discretionary precepts.

Without a doubt, they note, a mother is obligated to train her children to fulfill commandments, but only in the performance of precepts (such as sukkah) that they will be obligated to perform when they reach maturity. That’s why a mother cannot make her son a nazir as there is no obligation for a person to become one.

Indeed, from the Torah’s words (Numbers 6:2), “ish o isha ki yafli lindor neder nazir – a man or a woman who shall dissociate him or herself by taking a nazirite vow of abstinence,” it is clear that one effects nezirut purely at one’s own discretion, in order to seek perfection and refinement. One of the paths to refinement is this optional mitzvah – an exercise in abstinence and self-discipline for one who wishes to live a life of purity and sanctity. If a parent wishes to effect this level of sanctity and abstinence upon a child as a means of imparting those unique qualities in him, it may be done – however, only by the father.

Chidushei Orach Mishor (Rabbi Yochanan Kremnitzer, cited above to Nazir 29) goes even further and explains that a mother’s only obligation is to train her children in positive precepts, mitzvot aseh, but not prohibitory precepts, mitzvot lo ta’aseh.

Rabbi Reuven Grozovsky (novella to Nazir) explains this matter differently. He argues that, in fact, a father is not obligated to train his children in the performance of commandments; rather he bears personal responsibility for their transgressions. A father incurs punishment for his children’s transgressions because they are considered his own. This is implied by the blessing a father recites at his son’s bar mitzvah: “Baruch she’petarani me’onsho shelazeh – Blessed is He Who has absolved me from the punishment due this one.” Thus, it is in the father’s interest to train his children in mitzvot.

A mother, on the other hand, while obligated to educate and train her children in the performance of mitzvot, bears no personal responsibility for their transgressions.

Rabbi Grozovsky further argues that a mother lacks the authority to declare a nazirite vow for her son because one cannot impose a vow on another person. How, then, is a father capable of imposing such a vow? The answer lies in the unique relationship the Torah vests in a father. Since a father is responsible for his son’s transgressions, the son is deemed an extension of his father in this regard; he is not considered a separate person. Therefore, just as a father is able to render himself a nazir, he may render his son a nazir.

I would like to add that the Torah and our sages place the responsibility of chinuch on fathers because they might at times shirk their responsibility. As to mothers, there really is no need to place the full responsibility of chinuch on them because they will naturally involve themselves in this task in any event. In fact, mothers will go to great lengths in this regard. Indeed, this is one of the reasons women are not obligated in time-related precepts – because of their all time-consuming responsibilities in the home.

Let us look at today’s society. When a mother is home taking care of her children, it is called “parenting.” However, when a father is home with his children it is commonly, yet incorrectly, referred to as “babysitting.”

Without doubt, a father who shirks his responsibility in providing his children a Torah education is in violation of his duties. However, it is obvious that as the loving and caring mother, you will do your utmost to fill the gap.

Next week, we will explore the mother’s role in the development of her children.

(To be continued)

Rabbi Yaakov Klass, rav of Congregation K’hal Bnei Matisyahu in Flatbush, Brooklyn, is Torah Editor of The Jewish Press. He can be contacted at yklass@jewishpress.com.

About the Author: Rabbi Yaakov Klass, rav of Congregation K’hal Bnei Matisyahu in Flatbush, Brooklyn, is Torah Editor of The Jewish Press. He can be contacted at yklass@jewishpress.com.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Q & A: A Mother’s Mitzvah (Part II)”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
U.S. President Barack Obama escorts Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu out of the Oval Office
Pirated Phone Conversation of Obama Slamming Bibi from Unverified Source
Latest Judaism Stories
Weiss-072514

Just as the moon waxes, wanes and renews itself, so has the nation of Israel renewed itself through the millennia.

126_masei_web

Parshat Masei: Rabbi Fohrman addresses the age-old question, are we our brother’s keeper?

Hertzberg-072514

When Germany invaded neutral Belgium on August 4, England declared war on Germany. Thus, by the end of the first week of August all the major powers of Europe were at war.

Winiarz-072514

The Talmud teaches that the Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of baseless hatred.

When taking any major step in life it is a good idea to carefully re-evaluate one’s past.

Ours is a small and intensely vulnerable people. Inspired, we rise to greatness. Uninspired, we fall

The enormity of Hiram’s accomplishments crazed him and deluded him into self-deification.

When Hashem first thought (if it could be) about creating the world, the middah of din was in operation.

Hallel On Purim?
“Its Reading Is Its Praise”
(Megillah 14a)

If the only person available to perform the milah on the eighth day is a person who is not an observant Jew, the milah should be postponed until a devout mohel is available.

It is apparent from the Maharsha that he does not see galus as atoning for killing accidentally; otherwise, this Gemara would not bother him.

It was found to be a giant deer tick living in her head – with its claws in her scalp.

While daydreaming about finding the perfect job, I never expected to be rewarded in spades for my aforementioned experience.

We are all entrusted with the mission of protecting our fellow Jews

Today, we remain Hashem’s nachal.

More Articles from Rabbi Yaakov Klass
Questions-Answers-logo

Question: I recently returned from a trip abroad and wanted to say HaGomel. When I mentioned this to the officers of my synagogue, however, they told me – as per the instructions of the synagogue’s rabbi – that I would have to wait until Shabbos to do so. I was not given any reason for this and did not wish to display my ignorance, so I quietly acquiesced. Can you please explain why I had to wait?

Name Withheld
(Via E-Mail)

Question: I recently returned from a trip abroad and wanted to say HaGomel. When I mentioned this to the officers of my synagogue, however, they told me – as per the instructions of the synagogue’s rabbi – that I would have to wait until Shabbos to do so. I was not given any reason for this and did not wish to display my ignorance, so I quietly acquiesced. Can you please explain why I had to wait?

Name Withheld
(Via E-Mail)

Question: I recently returned from a trip abroad and wanted to say HaGomel. When I mentioned this to the officers of my synagogue, however, they told me – as per the instructions of the synagogue’s rabbi – that I would have to wait until Shabbos to do so. I was not given any reason for this and did not wish to display my ignorance, so I quietly acquiesced. Can you please explain why I had to wait?

Name Withheld
(Via E-Mail)

Question: I recently returned from a trip abroad and wanted to say HaGomel. When I mentioned this to the officers of my synagogue, however, they told me – as per the instructions of the synagogue’s rabbi – that I would have to wait until Shabbos to do so. I was not given any reason for this and did not wish to display my ignorance, so I quietly acquiesced. Can you please explain why I had to wait?

Name Withheld
(Via E-Mail)

    Latest Poll

    Do you think the FAA ban on US flights to Israel is political?






    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/judaism/ask-the-rabbi/q-a-a-mothers-mitzvah-part-ii/2012/10/17/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: