My purpose for unburdening in this forum is twofold: to warn other women in my expensive yet worn-out shoes to be wary if things are blissful, and to urge those who find themselves in a stagnant relationship not to hesitate to confront him about it. I’d rather have known right off than waited for the inevitable to happen months into the relationship. I can’t afford to defer time.
And so I’ve shared my “winter of discontent” — with the hope that Chag Ha’Aviv will jolt that vigorous pulse so critically vital for my belief system. In one of my favorite books, Garden of Emuna, by Rabbi Shalom Arush, (lately I find myself gravitating towards it too often) it says, “patient endurance, the result of emuna, paves the road to genuine tranquility.”
Fortunately, when I was 15 years old my high-school teacher taught me the most important life lesson, that happiness is a decision. I made that choice back then, only recently finding it to be a bit arduous. And believe me, I’ve endured my lot of pitfalls.
In the past I’ve learned that from tribulations come spiritual aspirations. I feel like a cat with multiple lives — somehow G-d gives me the strength to embark on the dating scene with gusto, ever hopeful of reaching a miraculous conclusion to my saga.
The power of spring is life itself. I think if little buds can swell, my mazal has the potential to be transformed too, no?
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