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April 17, 2014 / 17 Nisan, 5774
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Destroying the Chametz Within and Truly Preparing for Pesach
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Marriage and Relationships
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The Imago Theory

Posted on: March 7th, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

For instance, if a woman had a very warm and loving father and then marries a warm and loving husband, she may continue to have a positive imago and enjoy an excellent relationship with her husband.

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary
 

WE vs. ME Couples

Posted on: March 7th, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

My father-in-law spent over thirty-five years as a circuit court judge. He noticed that some clients paid teams of lawyers only to be poorly represented. He noted in these cases that, "the lawyers are so busy arguing with each other that nobody's arguing the case." There was an absence of cohesiveness and the ego driven fighting rendered the team ineffective.

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Fairness Among Siblings

Posted on: February 28th, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

While understanding the situation will hopefully make it easier for you to handle it, it is important to speak with your mother - respectfully - about what is bothering you.

Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel
 

Empathize With Your Spouse

Posted on: February 28th, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

To feel loved and nurtured your spouse needs to feel that you empathize with his or her emotions. The key is empathy. Empathy isn’t the same as sympathy or pity. It means being able to put yourself in another’s position, to feel what he feels and see what he sees, without losing yourself in the process.

Schild-Edwin
 

Renaissance Man

Posted on: February 28th, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

The term Renaissance Man is defined by Wikipedia Encyclopedia as “a person whose expertise spans a significant number of different subject areas.” Many of us might think we know someone of that calibre, but does the person really have such a span of knowledge and impact on others?

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Sameach B’chelko

Posted on: February 21st, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Dr. Yael: Your recent column on “The Burden Of Feeling Overwhelmed” (Dear Dr. Yael, 2-8-13) made me very upset. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, this woman should feel blessed. After all, she has over 10 children, four of whom are married and living near her. Additionally, they are financially comfortable with a large home and full-time help.

Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel
 

Mirroring Your Spouse’s Feelings

Posted on: February 14th, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Mirroring is a good way to start actively listening. To mirror, you simply paraphrase or repeat back to your spouse what he or she is saying to you.

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Mending Fences

Posted on: February 14th, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

The difficulty lies in how teenagers perceive their surroundings. They often see the world as revolving around them and cannot understand why parents are always asking them to do things.

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The Burden Of Feeling Overwhelmed

Posted on: February 7th, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Explain to them that you'll try to be there for them when they "need" your help, but that you may have to sometimes take a rain check when they simply "want" your help.

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Children Giving Chizuk To Their Disabled Mom

Posted on: February 1st, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Dr. Respler: The letter from the husband lamenting his family’s difficulties brought on by his wife’s physical impairments (“For Better Or Worse – Or Bailing Out,” 1-11) brings back memories of my experience. I was the wife who one day found herself physically incapacitated and unable to do the simplest acts.

Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel
 

The Art Of Communication

Posted on: January 25th, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

David and his wife had been married for 15 years and believed they knew what each other really wanted. While attending a marriage seminar on communication, David and his wife listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”

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A Grateful But Tired Grandmother

Posted on: January 24th, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Dr. Yael: I have, Baruch Hashem, a beautiful family with children and several grandchildren. I am fortunate to be close with all of them. I also work and take care of my parents, like many others in the “sandwich generation.” While I love my life, I am constantly exhausted and overworked.

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Demanding Family Equity

Posted on: January 17th, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Dr. Yael: Your recent column on “The Wrongs Of Onas Devarim” (Dear Dr. Yael, 12-28-2012) was, for me, the worst column ever. Here’s why:

Respler-011113
 

For Better Or Worse – Or Bailing Out

Posted on: January 10th, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Dr. Yael: A few years ago, our family went through a very traumatic period of time when my wife was diagnosed with a brain aneurism. She has suffered through so much pain and rehabilitation, and things have not returned to normal.

Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel
 

The Emotional GPS for Finding Your Beshert

Posted on: January 4th, 2013

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Recently, there a number of articles dealing with the difficulties singles are having getting married have appeared in various publications. Unfortunately, many young people in their 20’s (and some even in their 30’s) are struggling to find their bashert.

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The Wrongs Of Onas Devarim

Posted on: December 27th, 2012

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Dr. Yael: I am the oldest child in a family of seven; one of my sisters is a year younger than me. Even though we basically have the same responsibilities, somehow I always get stuck with all the household chores. My sister has a tendency to take her time, all the while doing one job. Honestly, sometimes it takes her three hours to do the dishes. She says it is because she is a “schlep.” She actually gets angry with her when I ask her to move quicker, saying that “I am not understanding of her feelings” and “she needs time.”

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Technology: Important But Not Indispensable

Posted on: December 20th, 2012

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Dr. Yael: I am part of the “over 50” crowd and am having a really hard time with computers, cell phones and the rest of the modern-day technology. I work as a well-paid secretary, but am stuck in the same position with little room for advancement due to my poor computer skills. All the while I see all of my younger colleagues, with less experience, getting raises because they are more technologically advanced. Despite taking courses to improve in this area, I am finding it hard to succeed.

Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel
 

Individuality In Marriage

Posted on: December 20th, 2012

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

One of the most powerful dimensions of a successful marriage is a couple’s ability to keep focused on each other's good points and unique personality traits. Too often, people become fixated on the negative, sweating “over the small stuff," and forgetting the positive points that brought them together in the first place.

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Lessons For Drivers

Posted on: December 6th, 2012

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Dr. Yael: I am a female driver dealing with challenges of derech eretz while driving in my community. Every time the light is about to turn green, the person behind me seems to immediately honk the horn, yet no one has a problem double-parking, making me feel as if I am driving on an obstacle course.

Schonbuch-Rabbi-Daniel
 

Self Esteem And Its Impact On Marriage

Posted on: December 6th, 2012

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Self esteem is one of the most important factors influencing human behavior. Despite what some people believe, self esteem can be a critical issue in marriage, where unresolved identity issues from childhood can place unwanted stress on a relationship.

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