Dear Dr. Yael

Please share with people that ghosting is very painful.... The hurt and betrayal is devastating.

Awkward!

She did not have anything negative or worrying to share about him. Yet, you are still thinking about walking away from a guy that sounds like he might be the right fit for you.

Yankel And Leah – Chapter 9

True, he was the playful type, but his father was almost a compulsive salesman. With every word, with every gesture, he was out to prove that his way was right, that his ideology, the superior one.

Dear Dr. Yael

We never really know what other people are enduring. Life is so challenging. People often evaluate situations based on what they see, which is often not the whole picture.

Risky Business

Time to take a step back. This is the time to refocus and to take your dating story back into your own hands.

Yankel And Leah – Chapter 8

He was surprised by her self-possession. Here she seemed smitten by him and yet she was confident. She could just as soon leave him as take him.

Dear Dr. Yael

A great technique I recommend to people who deal with difficult people is to answer a negative with a positive.

Yankel And Leah – Chapter 7

Yankel had a few thousand dollars put aside from tutoring younger boys and a few summers as a camp counselor. If there was a time to spend, Yankel would spend it now on these dates.

Dear Dr. Yael

It appears to me that your stonewalling is unintentional. It could be a learned response from your childhood to avoid escalating a fight or avoid discussing an uncomfortable topic.

Hurry Up And Wait!

Even if this trip is just for the sake of fun, it still holds merit.

Yankel And Leah – Chapter Six

Yankel enjoyed this exchange; and as evidenced by the smiles in the room, so did the others. But at the same time he wondered about what he had just said.

I (Donut) Dissent!

I would never suggest that someone “settle” for someone who lacks mentchlichkeit. I would never want a girl to date someone as a last resort or without the confidence to say no.

Yankel And Leah -Chapter 5

It was strange that afterward, when he was back in his dormitory room, going over the evening in his mind, he could not even remember the color of Leah’s eyes.

Dear Dr. Yael

As I write this column, I wonder if in fact he is stonewalling you or if he just does some things like stonewalling. The wish to never fight or disagree in a marriage is unrealistic.

Never Enough

They accuse you of being a fat girl masquerading in a skinny girl’s body. While this is clearly ludicrous, the hurt and stigma are very real. You are thin. Isn’t that what they want?

Yankel and Leah – Chapter 4

Leah looked at him. She flashed a modest smile revealing small, white, polished-pearl teeth. To see them sent a fright through him.

Dear Dr. Yael

When I see couples walking together and both speaking on their phones to other people, it hurts deeply. Instead of walking and talking to each other, they are speaking to other people.

A Weighty Matter

You don’t want to date someone who isn’t skinny and don’t understand why those around you bristle at that statement. Would they prefer you date a girl you are not going to be attracted to because of her size?

Yankel and Leah – Chapter 3

It had never before occurred to him in such stark terms that his G-d and the G-d of his father were not the same. In fact, they were very different.

Dear Dr. Yael

I know my own parents and in-laws gave my children so much love, time, and exciting outings that are remembered to this day!

Risk It

To have him suddenly make an appearance in your life again must have been jarring, forcing you to relive the emotions you thought you had put to rest.

Yankel and Leah – Chapter Two

Yankel hated that question even as he knew it would always come. He understood the question wasn’t so much informational as it was a way that both he and his father and his family could be placed in a schnit, a familiar category.

Dear Dr. Yael

In life, assertive people accomplish more and are able to establish healthy relationships while aggressive people tend to destroy relationships with those closest to them.

SawYouAtShabbos

Tell them you have something to share with them and then calmly relate the truth. Apologize for not being forthcoming until this point and take ownership of this slight and the hurt your secrecy will have caused them.

Yankel and Leah – Chapter One

He knew he must marry, but it was like looking at the vast ocean from the shore, waiting for a ship that he couldn’t be sure even existed.

Dear Dr. Yael

Another thing that may be occurring is trivializing you, by telling you that you are too sensitive when something bothers you.

Iguana Marry You

Dating is real... There is no thunderous realization while standing in the pouring rain, no chasing a plane as it is about to take off, or any other love cliché you can think of.

Dear Dr. Yael

Instead of contemplating divorce, use these feelings as a wake-up call to work on your marriage. Please seek professional help to work on making your life happier.

Perfect Match

It bolsters us to hear that more than one or two people believe you would connect. This is especially true when everything else we learn, as far as character, personality, and middos feel right as well.

Dear Dr. Yael

I know it is best for you to be strong and not focus on this workmate. Don’t give her power to control your life.

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Printed from: https://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/dear-dr-yael-390/2023/02/17/

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