Marriage and Relationships

When there is someone who leans toward one group, but doesn’t tick every box, people may still encourage them to accept the label in order to expedite the dating process.

In part one (Family Issues 04-29-2011) we mentioned that often a symptom of the anxiety disorder, the fear of abandonment, is a strong need to be in control. That is because the person suffering from the disorder has lost someone in their past - due to separation, divorce or death - and may unconsciously blame themselves for the desertion.

Question: I trust my husband implicitly. He has never given me reason to suspect him of wrongdoing. So, why am I writing? Three years ago he began a new job. He works very closely with a frum woman. They make a very good team – she is the salesperson and crucial to the business. A few months ago they started to train together to run in a half marathon for tzedakah. Then I found out that she and her husband had separated. I did not hear this from my husband – it was a friend who told me. When I asked my husband why he didn’t tell me, he said that she asked him not to tell anyone and he respected her privacy. Then I found out that they skipped a workout because of the rain and instead had lunch together. This I heard from a friend who saw them together. Please understand I don't want to think he's doing anything wrong. Surely he wouldn't be in a restaurant for all to see if he was up to no good. He says I'm being overly sensitive. Is he right?

Since most women do not have a clue what to do when they receive a hazmana, we will try to allay the fears they might have.

On average each couple will have between 4-6 sessions with a week to ten days between sessions.

Creating direction in a marriage is similar to going on a long journey. To get to where you want to go, you need to have a plan that includes directions, supplies and the ability to navigate along the way. You will also have to be prepared for many possible factors that may interfere with your trip, including wind, rain, unpredictable mechanical breakdown and human error. Most importantly you will need a map to guide and help reorient you in case you lose your way.

While we are visual beings, and it is natural to want to see how the person looks, the problem is that when you see the picture before you meet the person, you create a single image of who the person is.

I read in a magazine that the secret to marital harmony is having separate bathrooms. All my woman stuff that littered the medicine cabinet and sink counter– you know, the tubes and creams and make-up – well, they grated on his nerves.

Divine providence had led me to a place I needed to be, the place I belonged.

I always say that an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. If we can all learn how to parent effectively, then this world would be a better place.

“Why don’t they tell us this stuff before we get married?”

My mother thinks of herself as a superior person, has very little feelings for other people, and probably suffers from a deep lack of self-esteem.

As an online dater myself, I completely understand how daunting it can be to use online dating, let alone create a dating profile.

On the question whether singles felt that the Orthodox system of dating was going well, Nishma found that most singles had an unfavorable view.

Our goal was always to tell authentic stories from people who are choosing to be Orthodox but grappling with things that are difficult, all while showcasing real human emotion.

For most physicians specializing in the treatment of infertility, the subject of sexuality - and especially the "how to’s" of sex - are rarely a subject of concern.

I once commented during a lecture that so many guys are just looking to play and not get serious. The speaker responded, “You’re not looking for a guy, you’re looking for a husband.” He was right. Making general statements about all men or women does everyone a disservice.

You have to assume everyone is at least two or three notches lower than he or she appears in the profile picture simply because many people will be two or three notches lower in real life.

You were happily dating when suddenly Covid-19 changed the game and forced you to prematurely think about timelines and wedding dates.

A large part of me was left wondering why his parents didn’t explain what divorce was and why we had to be his introduction to the topic.

While you may struggle to talk and share, you can be a great listener. Prepare open-ended questions before the date and really listen to the answers given.

Active listening is only one part of the marriage equation; learning what to say and what not to say is the other half. And, it’s not just about expressing your feelings, but doing it in a way that avoids hurting the other person.

Even good reviews hold them back, because public knowledge makes the products seem cheaper and less exclusive.

Recently, there a number of articles dealing with the difficulties singles are having getting married have appeared in various publications. Unfortunately, many young people in their 20’s (and some even in their 30’s) are struggling to find their bashert.

Dear Rabbi Schonbuch, My husband and I are having trouble in our marriage. We tend to fight about the same issues every day and he's very emotionally distant. At what point should I consider seeing a marriage therapist?

Online infidelity may be the next upcoming challenge facing the Orthodox world. In the last 12 months, I have seen 11 Orthodox couples where one spouse has reported an online affair that has caused serious distress in their marriage. I now believe that an epidemic of online infidelity may be causing the breakup of countless Jewish marriages.

I once heard a story about a single man struggling to find a spouse. His main challenge was his insistence that a potential mate permanently welcome his widowed mother into their marital home. A friend suggested that he speak with the great authority, Harav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt’l. The man shared with the Rav his delicate predicament. The Rav validated the man’s approach as acceptable. Sometime later, the man met his bashert, the special woman willing to live with his mom. They returned to Rav Shlomo Zalman for his blessing. Surprisingly, the Rav called the man aside and told him that they cannot live with his mother anymore. The young man was shocked. After all, on the previous visit, the Rav had supported his desire to find a woman who would accept their living with his mother.

As I write this column, I wonder if in fact he is stonewalling you or if he just does some things like stonewalling. The wish to never fight or disagree in a marriage is unrealistic.

I heard Binyamin walking up the stairs. I shoved the book back into Binyamin’s jacket. The door creaked open. I took a breath. Another one, and tried to shake off that sour sensation in my stomach.

I often write about Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) because it is a pervasive and problematic issue in our community today. Recent surveys suggest that ODD affects between two and sixteen percent of children. Children with ODD are often classified as “explosive” because of their severe and sudden outbreaks.