Part 25 – Learning To Be Content
One of the most important ways a couple can manage money together is to learn the art of contentment. We have already discussed how making a budget can be a very simple way to start saving money.
Dear Dr. Yael
Chaya is frightened of being like her mother whom she considers a push-over. She prefers to be like her father who is the dominant one in the family.
From Depression To Happiness
Dear Dr. Yael:
I am a man in my 50s who, Baruch Hashem, has had a good life. I am married with children and grandchildren and was always a happy-go-lucky person, thankful for all the berachot bestowed on me.
This year, though, has been very difficult for me, with many family and personal problems. I have begun to experience something that I have never really had before: depression. Out of nowhere I begin to feel upset and anxious, and I do not know what to do to get rid of these feelings.
A Family Miracle
Think of your issues this way: due to those different backgrounds, you have a "shovel" to deal with difficulties while he has a "spoon".
When Should A Couple Go For Marriage Therapy?
Q: My husband and I are having trouble in our marriage. We tend to fight about the same issues every day and he’s so emotionally distant. At what point should I consider seeing a marriage therapist?
The Good And Bad Lies In Marriage
Are we allowed to lie for shalom bayis? It would seem so, but what might be a healthy guideline for when it’s okay and when it’s not?
Even As I Walk In The Shadow Of Death… A Day In The Shelter...
They arrive here in a blind rush, at times in the middle of the night, wearing nothing more than pajamas, an attempt to escape years of sadistic abuse.
EFGT-Group Therapy: Improving Yourself And Your Relationships
Most people know that in therapy they will be asked to talk in depth about their personal lives and to describe their day-to-day struggles with specific people, whether it is with spouses, family members, bosses or neighbors, etc. They are therefore surprised to learn that this is not permitted in EFGT.
More On A Lack Of Hakaras Hatov
Readers respond to the letter from Wounded In-Laws (Magazine 12-2-2011)
Being A Friendless Teen
My teachers like me and they tell my parents that I am a great girl with good middos.
Dear Dr. Yael
You are now being challenged to believe in Hashem and to daven even though you are in great pain.
Part 24 – Making a Monthly Budget
There's no getting around it: in marriage, a budget is a requirement for good money management. A budget is simply (1) a tool to increase your consciousness of how and where you spend your money, and (2) a guideline to help you spend your money on the things that are most important to you. Following a budget can create money for savings, where you thought there was none.
The Wrongs Of Onas Devarim
Dear Dr. Yael:
I am the oldest child in a family of seven; one of my sisters is a year younger than me. Even though we basically have the same responsibilities, somehow I always get stuck with all the household chores. My sister has a tendency to take her time, all the while doing one job. Honestly, sometimes it takes her three hours to do the dishes. She says it is because she is a “schlep.” She actually gets angry with her when I ask her to move quicker, saying that “I am not understanding of her feelings” and “she needs time.”
The Need For More Marriage Education
Are we doing enough to prepare our children for marriage? I'm not talking about matters of Jewish law which couples learn about with their chassan and kallah teachers before they get married. What I'm referring to is the lack of knowledge of effective communication skills needed to make marriage successful and relationship-building tools that can enhance feelings of love and camaraderie.
A Plea To My Husband’s Ex
I am writing to you on my husband’s – your ex-husband’s – behalf. While driving home from work the day after Sukkos, my thoughts were occupied with his broken heart. I do not always clearly hear his pain, but that day my heart began to ache for the pain you are putting him through.
Marital Roles (First Of Five Parts)
Dear Mordechai,
With Pesach almost here, my husband and I have been fighting more than ever. We’re having big sedarim and are fighting over everything, from which Haggadas to use to what to expect from our differently-aged children. This frustration has caused me to finally write to you what I’ve wanted to write for months. I don’t want to be told what to do because I’m the woman or mother...
Four Questions To Heal The Pain
About a month ago, we began the Passover Seder by asking “the four questions,” which led to a narrative explaining how the Jewish people were freed from Egypt. We are now in the midst of a forty-nine day process of spiritual growth in which we prepare ourselves to receive the Torah.
The Burden Of Feeling Overwhelmed
Explain to them that you'll try to be there for them when they "need" your help, but that you may have to sometimes take a rain check when they simply "want" your help.
Part 8 – The Art of Communication
David (name changed) and his wife had been married for 15 years and believed they knew what each other really wanted. While attending a marriage seminar on communication, David and his wife listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”
Dear Dr. Yael
If Hashem were talking to you, would you interrupt to answer your cell phone?
The Truth Always Wins Out
Dear Dr. Respler:
When I read your May 25 column, Making Peace With Your Mother-In-Law, I started to cry, as I knew that the letter signer (Heartbroken Daughter-in-Law) was my daughter-in-law. We always discuss your column, and I guess it was her way of delivering a message to me.
Emunas Hashem And Camp HASC
JetBlue flew an empty aircraft from Boston to JFK to assist us. The care and concern of the flight attendants was amazing. They were astounded by our group, so much so that at the end of the flight, the captain related for all to hear that he was truly impressed by the care that the HASC counselors provided for the special-needs campers – all of whom have physical, mental, or emotional disabilities. We did our best to demonstrate a true kiddush Hashem.
Lessons For Drivers
Dear Dr. Yael:
I am a female driver dealing with challenges of derech eretz while driving in my community. Every time the light is about to turn green, the person behind me seems to immediately honk the horn, yet no one has a problem double-parking, making me feel as if I am driving on an obstacle course.