web analytics
April 25, 2015 / 6 Iyar, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


A Torah Perspective On Educating Our Children About Sexuality (Part IV)


Family-logo

Over the past few weeks, we have been making the point that parents must take an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas about sexuality and modesty. This is so that the first images and concepts that fill their developing minds are appropriate ones. This is especially true because of the amount of invasive exposure they receive from secular sources and culture, and also because we can no longer afford to be na?ve about the existence of sexual predators in our midst. Though the number of predators may be small in number, an active predator molests hundreds of children in his career, and unfortunately as a community we still have a long way to go in setting up a 100 percent effective and unified system of response and prevention. As we have discussed, if children do not possess clear knowledge and age-appropriate understanding of the parts of their body and how they can be used or misused, they will find it difficult to protect themselves against those who seek to abuse them.

There are those who may feel that it is forbidden to expose children and adolescents to sexual ideas because may arouse in them a yetzer ha’ra. The Ezer Mikodesh (Rav Avraham Dovid Wahrman) raises the same issue. He questions how it could be permitted to study the many Torah topics that require in-depth involvement in sexual issues when the Torah forbids one to think sexual thoughts. After all, there are sections of Gemara that are explicit, direct and even graphic when discussing sexuality and specific details of anatomy.

“No young unmarried student should hold himself back from studying from the holy books topics that can possibly cause sexual thoughts as found in the many laws that relate to marriage and women…. As long as it is in the manner and form that it is written in the holy books there [are] no grounds for concern or fear of even a remote violation [of] the prohibitions against obscenity or causing lust…. The prohibition against thinking sexual thoughts…is not defined to include a transient thought that occurs in passing…. and, [subsequent to this transient thought,] anyone who changes his train of thought to the best of his ability has no violation whatsoever, for the holy Torah was not given to angels. [This prohibition is only referring to when] a person dwells on sexual thoughts and awakens lust in his soul with images in his imagination…. This behavior makes an impression on the person’s character to awaken in him, G-d forbid, a chance to be drawn to commit sexual immorality or a nocturnal emission…and only this kind of sexual thought is forbidden, not anything else.” (Ezer Mikodesh, Shulchan Aruch, E.H. 23:3.)

Presumably, then if we discuss sexuality with our children in order to prevent them from being corrupted and in order for there to be an open relationship where they can continue to receive guidance about this very important matter, we are covered by the rubric permitted by the Ezer Mikodesh.

An additional point to consider is that in order for us to be effective parents, our response to certain social and psychological issues must adapt with the times. So, that even if in earlier generations parents did not have these types of discussions with their children, given the amount of exposure our children receive in regards to sexuality, it would seem prudent to “inoculate” them with Torah ideas. Keep in mind: halachah has recognized that over centuries, even biological realities and the makeup of humans are subject to variations and change. (For example, Magen Avraham, O.H., 179:8.) Certainly then, it is a reasonable conjecture that our cultural, social, and emotional realities, are also subject to variation from generation to generation.

(To be continued)

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “A Torah Perspective On Educating Our Children About Sexuality (Part IV)”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
"Killing Jews is worship that draws us closer to Allah." That's his Jihad. What's yours? - An ad campaign sponsored by  the American Freedom Defense Initiative.
MTA Hopes to Change Rule, Ban ‘Killing Jews’ Anti-Jihad Ad
Latest Sections Stories
Food-Talk---Eller-logo

“People who never buy cookbooks are getting this one,” said Victoria. “They read it cover to cover and find it so interesting.”

South-Florida-logo

We have recently witnessed how other minorities deal with even perceived danger aimed at their brothers and sisters. They respond in great numbers.

South-Florida-logo

The Hebrew Academy students took part in all categories and used successful and innovative techniques to achieve their goals.

“The objective behind establishing small communities as places for relocation was a remedy for the excessive cost of housing and education in the large New York metropolitan market,” Mr. Savitsky explained.

Jewish Democrats did not entirely trust the son of Joseph Kennedy, a man broadly considered to be both anti-Semitic and pro-Nazi.

The teenage years are not about surviving. They are about thriving.

Every moment was a gift. I held each one, savoring.

We arrived in Auschwitz on Thursday, January 30, 2014. My seminary was taking us to see where the prisoners were kept. When we got there, I stepped off the bus in complete and total silence. I was in the back, and when we got to the gate I hesitated and started shaking uncontrollably. I couldn’t […]

From the moment Israel was declared a Jewish state, it has been the subject of controversy and struggle.

Now that Pesach is over, we return you to your regularly-scheduled pressing questions:   Dear Mordechai, Can I use a nose hair trimmer during Sefirah? Harry Lipman   Dear Harry, Yes, as long as your nose hairs are so bad that they’re affecting your job. Like if you have a desk job, and they interfere […]

It is very natural for kids to want attention and to be jealous of each other, especially when there is a new baby.

During the Second World War, a million and a half Jewish soldiers fought in the Allied armies, the Partisan units in Eastern Europe, and the anti-fascist underground movements in Western Europe and North Africa. These Jewish fighters won over 200,000 medals and citations. The Museum of the Jewish Soldier in World War II in Latrun, […]

The 2-day real estate event will take place in Brooklyn on April 26 and 27.

More Articles from Rabbi Simcha Feuerman
Family-logo

As we have been discussing, it is essential for parents to take an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas in regards to sexuality and modesty.

Family-logo

As we have discussed over the past few weeks, it is essential, especially in these times, that parents take an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas in regards to sexuality and modesty.

Over the past few weeks we have been focusing on how necessary it is, especially today, that parents take an active role in teaching their children the Torah’s view on sexuality and modesty. We have pointed out how important it is that first images to fill a child’s mind in regards to these concepts be appropriate ones.

Over the past few weeks we have been focusing on how necessary it is, especially today, that parents take an active role in teaching their children the Torah’s view on sexuality and modesty and how important it is that first images to fill a child’s mind in regards to these concepts be appropriate ones.

Over the past few weeks we have been focusing on how necessary it is, especially today, that parents take an active role in teaching their children the Torah’s view on sexuality and modesty. It is important that the first images that fill their minds in regards to these concepts be appropriate ones.

In the past several articles we have discussed the importance of parents taking an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas about sexuality and modesty. This is because it is essential that the first images to that fill their developing minds on these concepts must be appropriate ones. There is so much invasive exposure they experience from secular culture, and much to be concerned about in regards to the existence of sexual predators in our midst. If children do not possess clear knowledge and an age-appropriate understanding of the parts of their body and how they can be used or misused it is hard for them to protect themselves.

Over the past few weeks, we have been making the point that parents must take an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas about sexuality and modesty. This is so that the first images and concepts that fill their developing minds are appropriate ones. This is especially true because of the amount of invasive exposure they receive from secular sources and culture, and also because we can no longer afford to be na?ve about the existence of sexual predators in our midst.

While it once may have been possible to shelter our children from inappropriate exposure to sexuality, today it seems to be an impossible goal. Even parents who have made every effort to appropriately safeguard their family may find themselves unhappily surprised at what their child’s friends have exposed him to. In addition, outdoor secular media such as billboards, bus ads and newspaper covers portray disturbingly graphic images that force us to confront the fact that our children are being exposed to ideas and ways of life we may consider to be harmful to their souls and their mental health.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/a-torah-perspective-on-educating-our-children-about-sexuality-part-iv/2009/09/16/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: