web analytics
November 23, 2014 / 1 Kislev, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
IDC Herzliya Campus A Day on Campus

To mark IDC Herzliya’s 20th anniversary, we spent a day following Prof. Uriel Reichman, IDC’s founder and president, and Jonathan Davis, VP for External Relations, around its delightful campus.



A Torah Perspective On Educating Our Children About Sexuality (Part IV)


Family-logo

Over the past few weeks, we have been making the point that parents must take an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas about sexuality and modesty. This is so that the first images and concepts that fill their developing minds are appropriate ones. This is especially true because of the amount of invasive exposure they receive from secular sources and culture, and also because we can no longer afford to be na?ve about the existence of sexual predators in our midst. Though the number of predators may be small in number, an active predator molests hundreds of children in his career, and unfortunately as a community we still have a long way to go in setting up a 100 percent effective and unified system of response and prevention. As we have discussed, if children do not possess clear knowledge and age-appropriate understanding of the parts of their body and how they can be used or misused, they will find it difficult to protect themselves against those who seek to abuse them.

There are those who may feel that it is forbidden to expose children and adolescents to sexual ideas because may arouse in them a yetzer ha’ra. The Ezer Mikodesh (Rav Avraham Dovid Wahrman) raises the same issue. He questions how it could be permitted to study the many Torah topics that require in-depth involvement in sexual issues when the Torah forbids one to think sexual thoughts. After all, there are sections of Gemara that are explicit, direct and even graphic when discussing sexuality and specific details of anatomy.

“No young unmarried student should hold himself back from studying from the holy books topics that can possibly cause sexual thoughts as found in the many laws that relate to marriage and women…. As long as it is in the manner and form that it is written in the holy books there [are] no grounds for concern or fear of even a remote violation [of] the prohibitions against obscenity or causing lust…. The prohibition against thinking sexual thoughts…is not defined to include a transient thought that occurs in passing…. and, [subsequent to this transient thought,] anyone who changes his train of thought to the best of his ability has no violation whatsoever, for the holy Torah was not given to angels. [This prohibition is only referring to when] a person dwells on sexual thoughts and awakens lust in his soul with images in his imagination…. This behavior makes an impression on the person’s character to awaken in him, G-d forbid, a chance to be drawn to commit sexual immorality or a nocturnal emission…and only this kind of sexual thought is forbidden, not anything else.” (Ezer Mikodesh, Shulchan Aruch, E.H. 23:3.)

Presumably, then if we discuss sexuality with our children in order to prevent them from being corrupted and in order for there to be an open relationship where they can continue to receive guidance about this very important matter, we are covered by the rubric permitted by the Ezer Mikodesh.

An additional point to consider is that in order for us to be effective parents, our response to certain social and psychological issues must adapt with the times. So, that even if in earlier generations parents did not have these types of discussions with their children, given the amount of exposure our children receive in regards to sexuality, it would seem prudent to “inoculate” them with Torah ideas. Keep in mind: halachah has recognized that over centuries, even biological realities and the makeup of humans are subject to variations and change. (For example, Magen Avraham, O.H., 179:8.) Certainly then, it is a reasonable conjecture that our cultural, social, and emotional realities, are also subject to variation from generation to generation.

(To be continued)

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “A Torah Perspective On Educating Our Children About Sexuality (Part IV)”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Arab butchers in the Har Nof massacre left Canadian-Israeli Howie Rothman in a coma. Above: Rothman and two of his children.
Canadian-Israeli in Coma from Har Nof Massacre
Latest Sections Stories
Kupfer-112114

Divorce from a vindictive, cruel spouse can be a lifelong nightmare when there are offspring.

Astaire-112114-Horse

There were many French Jews who jumped at the chance to shed their ancient identity and assimilate.

L to R: Sheldon Adelson, Shawn Evenhaim, Haim Saban

As Rabbi Shemtov stood on the stage and looked out at the attendees, he told them that “Rather than take photos with your cellphones, take a mental photo and keep this Shabbat in your mind and take it with you throughout your life.”

South-Florida-logo

Yeshiva v’Kollel Bais Moshe Chaim will be holding a grand celebration on the occasion of the institution’s 40th anniversary on Sunday evening, December 7. Alumni, students, friends and faculty of the yeshiva, also known as Talmudic University of Florida, will celebrate the achievement and vision of its founders and the spiritual guidance of its educational […]

The yeshiva night accommodates all levels of Jewish education.

Recently, Fort Lauderdale has been the focus of international news, and it has not been about the wonderful weather.

Rabbi Sacks held the position of chief rabbi of the United Hebrew Congregations of the Commonwealth for 22 years until September 2013.

The event included a dvar Torah by student Pesach Bixon, an overview of courses, information about student life and a student panel that answered frequently asked questions from a student perspective.

It is difficult to write about such a holy person, for I fear I will not accurately portray his greatness…

“Grandpa,” I wondered, as the swing began to slow down, “why are there numbers on your arm?”

So the real question is, “How can we, as hosts, make sure our guest beds are comfortable?” Because your guests will never say anything.

It was a land of opportunity, a place where someone who wasn’t afraid of a little hard work, or the challenges of adapting to a different climate and culture, could prosper.

Rule #1: A wife should never accompany her husband to hang out with his buddies at a fantasy football draft. Unless beer and cigars are her thing, that is.

There are many people today with very little training who put out shingles and proclaim themselves to be marital coaches, shalom bayis helpers, advisers etc.

The two World Series combatants, the Kansas City Royals and the San Francisco Giants, were Wild Card teams (meaning they didn’t win their respective divisions) that got hot at the right time.

More Articles from Rabbi Simcha Feuerman
Family-logo

As we have been discussing, it is essential for parents to take an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas in regards to sexuality and modesty.

Family-logo

As we have discussed over the past few weeks, it is essential, especially in these times, that parents take an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas in regards to sexuality and modesty.

Over the past few weeks we have been focusing on how necessary it is, especially today, that parents take an active role in teaching their children the Torah’s view on sexuality and modesty. We have pointed out how important it is that first images to fill a child’s mind in regards to these concepts be appropriate ones.

Over the past few weeks we have been focusing on how necessary it is, especially today, that parents take an active role in teaching their children the Torah’s view on sexuality and modesty and how important it is that first images to fill a child’s mind in regards to these concepts be appropriate ones.

Over the past few weeks we have been focusing on how necessary it is, especially today, that parents take an active role in teaching their children the Torah’s view on sexuality and modesty. It is important that the first images that fill their minds in regards to these concepts be appropriate ones.

In the past several articles we have discussed the importance of parents taking an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas about sexuality and modesty. This is because it is essential that the first images to that fill their developing minds on these concepts must be appropriate ones. There is so much invasive exposure they experience from secular culture, and much to be concerned about in regards to the existence of sexual predators in our midst. If children do not possess clear knowledge and an age-appropriate understanding of the parts of their body and how they can be used or misused it is hard for them to protect themselves.

Over the past few weeks, we have been making the point that parents must take an active role in teaching their children Torah ideas about sexuality and modesty. This is so that the first images and concepts that fill their developing minds are appropriate ones. This is especially true because of the amount of invasive exposure they receive from secular sources and culture, and also because we can no longer afford to be na?ve about the existence of sexual predators in our midst.

While it once may have been possible to shelter our children from inappropriate exposure to sexuality, today it seems to be an impossible goal. Even parents who have made every effort to appropriately safeguard their family may find themselves unhappily surprised at what their child’s friends have exposed him to. In addition, outdoor secular media such as billboards, bus ads and newspaper covers portray disturbingly graphic images that force us to confront the fact that our children are being exposed to ideas and ways of life we may consider to be harmful to their souls and their mental health.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/a-torah-perspective-on-educating-our-children-about-sexuality-part-iv/2009/09/16/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: