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December 9, 2016 / 9 Kislev, 5777

Posts Tagged ‘shoes’

Punish Us All

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

       Every time a Muslim terrorist commits an atrocity, the insane reaction of our liberal societies is to punish everyone collectively. Several years ago, a terrorist tried to detonate an explosive hidden in his shoe. As a result, every airline passenger is now required to remove his shoes and pass them through an x-ray device. It is common in airports to see long lines of passengers walking barefoot or in their stocking feet, queued up and waiting to have their shoes checked. Instead of forcing all Muslims to fly barefoot, every single passenger is inconvenienced to avoid racial profiling. 

 

      Now that a Muslim terrorist has hidden explosives under his trouser legs, we will most probably witness a demand in the near future that men remove their pants before being allowed to embark on an airline flight. The Muslim terrorist also went to the bathroom for an hour before the flight landed. Will we now all be restricted from going to the bathroom one hour before the end of a flight? We are lucky that the Muslim terrorist did not go to the bathroom three hours before the end of the flight!  

 

     The terrorist carried a pillow as he left the bathroom. As a result, all pillows and blankets will now be removed an hour prior to the end of a flight.  

 

     At a recent family gathering, my three sons, my wife and I met for our monthly family cream cheese and lox fest. We began to explore alternative solutions to this need to punish all airline passengers for the crimes of the Muslim terrorists. Hopefully, the airlines will not take our suggestions too seriously, but if they do, please remember that you saw them first here in The Jewish Press.

 

   The first rule, of course, will be that men (maybe also women) will no longer be allowed to wear long pants on flights. Kilts will become fashionable. Shorts in every style and color will become required attire for the international jet set, especially on flights from Florida and California. I wonder if trousers will also be forbidden on Air Force One and private flights.  

 

     Transparent slacks for men and women may become the next big seller and may be a good investment for someone with money to burn. The limits of the transparency will  have to be determined by airline officials in consultation with TV comedians.

 

     A steward or stewardess will be stationed in each public restroom and closed-circuit television will be set up in each restroom to be monitored by the pilots and airplane crew.  

To avoid the possibility of the terrorist blowing up the plane over densely populated areas, all flights between New York and California will be routed south over the ocean to Panama, over the Panama Canal, and north to California.

 

     No flights will be allowed between American cities and large population areas. Buses and trains will be allowed, until a Muslim terrorist threatens to blow up a bus or train.  

 

Special handholds will be glued above every seat in the aircraft and passengers will have to sit during the hour before landing with their hands above their heads. 

 

      The most effective solution and the most peaceful is to fill a plane with sleeping gas instead of oxygen, and to require all passengers to be in a deep sleep until the flight is over.

 

         I am sure that many of you can come up with your own innovative solution to punish the entire traveling public instead of, G-d forbid, profiling terrorists, as the Israelis do. Everyone knows that a little old lady in a wheelchair can be dangerous, especially if she is the tenth check-in passenger.

 

      Comments may be sent to dov@gilor.com

Dov Gilor

A Torah Perspective on Educating Our Children About Sexuality (Part VI)

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

Over the past few weeks we have been focusing on how necessary it is, especially today, that parents take an active role in teaching their children the Torah’s view on sexuality and modesty. It is important that the first images that fill their minds in regards to these concepts be appropriate ones.

We have discussed how pervasive the secular culture is and how much it has affected our children and how we can no longer afford to be naive about the existence of sexual predators in our midst. We reminded you that if children do not possess clear knowledge and an age-appropriate understanding of the parts of their body and how they can be used or misused, they would not be able to protect themselves from those who seek to abuse them.

There is a school of thought that exposing children and adolescents to sexual ideas will arouse in them a yetzer hara. We referenced a halachic ruling from the Ezer Mekodesh (Shulchan Aruch, E.H. 23:3) that makes it clear it is permitted for even a young man to study the sections of the Torah that relate to sexuality. Since there are dozens of halachos that are impossible to understand without knowledge of the mechanics of human sexual intercourse and reproduction, in truth, one can justifiably argue that teaching a child about sex is part and parcel of the commandment to teach Torah. After all, how can one possibly teach the laws of family purity, the laws of sexual immorality and the laws of marriage without also teaching about sexual matters?

Before we chart out a possible halachic approach to sex education, let us first rule out what is most certainly mistaken and misguided. First and foremost, it is absolutely forbidden to falsify or distort Torah. So, if we accept the obvious point that many halachos are dependent upon a correct understanding of sexuality, it is certainly incorrect to ever change or misrepresent the laws for the purposes of protecting “innocent young minds.” The Gemara is clear that one should never lie to a child, even about halachic matters of expedience, or as the child grows older he will learn to lie (Succah 46b.) Furthermore, the Maharshal (Yam Shel Shlomo, Bava Kama, 4, Piska 9) indicates that one should even martyr himself rather than agree to misrepresent a Torah fact!

So, when teaching for example, the mishna in Kiddushin (1:1) about the three methods which complete the marriage bond, with one being sexual intercourse, it may be acceptable to say, “I will teach you two out of the three methods.” But it is certainly not acceptable to substitute sexual intercourse with some made up method. In other words, “The stork brought you” is unacceptable, but an answer such as “I will tell you when you are older” is acceptable. In one case a lie and distortion of the Torah is being committed, while in the other, the child is informed that he is not being told everything.

We are aware of a true story (told by a veteran principal) that aptly illustrates this point.

As we all know, part of Yom Kippur observance requires five abstentions or afflictions (Yoma 73b). They are: (1) Eating and drinking; (2) Washing/bathing; (3) Anointing or smoothing oil on one’s skin; (4) Wearing leather shoes; (5) Sexual intercourse.

The astute reader will note that it actually appears as if there are six abstentions: Eating, drinking, washing/bathing, anointing, wearing leather shoes and sexual intercourse. However, the Gemara counts eating and drinking as part of one category, that is, the intake of food.

The principal was observing a teacher relaying this information to her students and noticed that she described the five abstentions as follows:

(1) Eating; (2) Drinking; (3) Washing/bathing; (4) Anointing or smoothing oil on one’s skin; (5) Wearing leather shoes.

Obviously, the teacher wanted to preserve the concept of “five abstentions” but at the same time, wanted to avoid mentioning sexual intercourse. So the teacher cleverly expanded “eating and drinking” into two separate categories. Unfortunately, this is in direct contradiction to the mishna’s clear enumeration of eating and drinking as one abstention! Even though this distortion is perhaps better than the educationally abhorrent (but unfortunately well-used) practice of mistranslating tashmish hamittah as “making the bed”, it still is committing Torah forgery. The principal confronted the teacher about this distortion of the Torah, but the teacher was resolute in her stance that it would be inappropriate to teach children about sex. The principal explained, “I am not requiring you to teach all five abstentions. Rather tell them there are five abstentions but we will study four of them. Just please do not mislabel them from their original definitions in the mishna.” The principal was young and idealistic, and the teacher was a veteran and set in her ways. The whole matter turned into an unpleasant confrontation and power struggle.

This story would simply be a good enough illustration, if not for the tragic, yet comic post-script to this story. Twenty years later, this principal happened to be observing another class, and once again, saw a young teacher teaching the censored and distorted version of the five afflictions. The principal attempted to correct the young teacher, “Aha…you are trying to teach the children about the five abstentions without mentioning sexual intercourse, so you cleverly turned eating and drinking into two separate categories. That is an interesting approach, but aren’t you concerned that they may never learn it correctly?” To which the young teacher responded, “Sex? What do you mean? Aren’t these the five abstentions?” Clearly, the young lady had no idea that sexual intercourse was one of the five abstentions. In this principal’s own lengthy career he was able to witness both the distortion, and the pathetic product of that very distortion — a mature woman, a teacher of Torah no less, ignorant of a basic Jewish law!

(To be continued)

Rabbi Simcha Feuerman

It’s My Opinion: Back To School

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

      Summer isalmost over,and in countless homes throughout the country, preparations for the new school year have begun. Shiny new pencil boxes and supplies have been purchased.  Hair has been cut and shoes have been shined. Many children are eager to see old friends and familiar classrooms. Traditionally, this time of year has been one of happy anticipation and excitement.  

 

    Unfortunately, especially in these tough economic times, many Jewish families are facing back-to-school with dread. Breadwinners have lost their jobs. Businesses are barely scraping by. Revenue is down. For these families, yeshiva and day school tuitions loom as an insurmountable hurdle. 

 

   The thought of sending their children to a public school fills many parents with anguish. The youngsters cannot understand why their beloved rebbes and teachers will not let them into the school they love so much. They know that they have done nothing to warrant expulsion. The sad fact is that this experience can forever sour a young mind on the Jewish lifestyle. They see the very yeshiva that taught the importance of chesed, has thrown them out on the street.

 

     The adults feel helpless. They simply do not have the money. They feel humiliated and abandoned.

 

     The Jewish schools, themselves, should not necessarily take the brunt of the blame.  Some can barely meet their payroll. Some cannot even do that. Many have fully half of their students on some sort of discounted (scholarship) rate. It is troubling, however, that the cost of many Jewish schools is on par with that of college tuition.

 

    Jews in the United States took part in a vast cultural endeavor.  They interacted and intermingled with the population.  Their venture was, tragically, a great success.  The rate of assimilation and intermarriage of American Jews has been astounding.

 

   Jews who attended yeshivot and day schools, however, have bucked this trend. Their assimilation is far below the national numbers. They, for the most part, have remained true to their heritage.

 

    The Jewish people need to put together a communal effort toward nurturing every precious young soul. Jewish organizations and philanthropies need to make this funding as a number one priority. It is essential to the very survival of our people.

 

    Synagogues need to make appeals from every pulpit for money to fund Jewish education.  Jewish Federations need to concentrate on this vital issue and cut back on funding non-essential parties, events and trips.  Every Jewish group, club and congregation needs to be part of this vital undertaking. 

 

     One-and-a-half-million Jewish children were murdered in the Shoah.  We have not a soul to spare. 

Shelley Benveniste

Image And Preparation: Two Critical Keys To Success

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Now that you know how to research companies before an interview, the next step in the process is to present the proper image and be fully prepared for the face-to-face meeting.

Based on your winning resume, the people you’re scheduled to meet have a mental image of how great and professional you are – so don’t disappoint them. In my years of interviewing men and women for all types of jobs, if a candidate’s appearance showed me they did not take themselves seriously, I would interview them more stringently and never give them the benefit of the doubt. Most interviewers I know feel the same way.

I am a firm believer in the adage, “dress for success.” For some frum people (especially men) this is a new concept that needs to be taken seriously, especially if you are interviewing with a company in the outside world. Therefore I suggest you ask the person who set up the interview (your recruiter, the person in your network who referred you, or a company HR contact) what the appropriate dress for an interview is, and if they know how the people who will interview you will be dressed.

No matter what the job is, and whatever they tell you, I suggest that you dress like a professional. People will not lose respect for you if you overdress for the occasion, but they will if you are sloppy, dress too casually, or too ethnically.

If you don’t have an outfit that creates a professional image, buy some new clothes and look at it as an investment for your future. Or you can borrow clothes from someone who is your size.

For men this would be a dark suit or a coordinated sports jacket and slacks, with a solid-colored white or blue shirt and matching tie that is not too dull or too loud. This holds true even if the company dress code is business casual, unless you are specifically told what to wear. I stress wearing a tie even if you’re unaccustomed to wearing one.

For women this advice is even more important, since there is a perceived inequality between you and a man applying for the same job. It is important that you wear an outfit that fits well, looks good on you, and makes you feel good about yourself. Avoid open-toe shoes and high heels (even if you are short) and do not over-accessorize your outfit. Also tone down the use of makeup, hair spray and jewelry.

Men should get a haircut if needed, and take a clean shave or beard trim the morning of the interview. Women should make sure their hair or sheitel is cleaned, cut and styled for the interview. This should be done one or two days in advance, as grooming should not be left for the last minute.

I suggest caution for both men and women when it comes to perfume or cologne. Remember that quite a number of people are allergic to perfume, so I suggest not wearing any or putting it on a few hours before the interview. Whatever you do, don’t apply it right before the interview.

Here’s an image checklist for the night before your interview:

 

1: Check that your outfit still fits you and that it is clean, freshly pressed, and has no rips, stains or frays.

 

2: Make sure your shoes are polished. This may seem trivial but it is essential, since interviewers put a premium on how your shoes look.

 

3: Men should ensure that their socks match, while women should make certain that their hose has no runs. They should carry a spare pair – just in case.

 

One thing that is inexcusable for an interview is not arriving at least 10 minutes early. This is why I implore you to know exactly where you’re going and how you will get there. If it is by public transportation, know which train or bus goes there and at which stop to get off. Plan one or more alternate routes in the event of an unforeseen problem.

 

If driving, use MapQuest and have an alternate route in case of unforeseen traffic or construction delays. Inquire about parking upon arrival, and its cost – if any. If you are not 100 percent sure how to get there, and how long it takes, make a prior test at the same time of day.

 

Make sure your GPS and cell phone are fully charged, and that you have the phone number and extension of the contact person programmed into your phone in the event you are unavoidably delayed.  Most important, if you schedule two or more interviews for the same day, make sure you leave enough time between them in case the first one runs longer than expected.

 

Perry Newman, CPC is president/CEO of First Impressions Resumes in Brooklyn, and has over 30 years experience as a resume writer, career coach and executive recruiter. If you would like him to review your resume and offer free recommendations, e-mail it to perry@jewishpress.com. You can also call 646-894-4101 and request a free copy of his updated 2009 edition of Job Hunting in the 21st Century, compliments of The Jewish Press. This comprehensive handbook covers resume writing, networking and other key topics on how to conduct a successful job search in greater detail.

Perry Newman

Special Purimshpiel Edition

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

Question: What will you dress up as this Purim?

 

 



It’s imperative that I boost my popularity now that we are down to the nitty-gritty of the campaign. I will emulate the character of Alvin from that lovable cartoon group Alvin and the Chipmunks. I think I already have his facial features down pat, especially when I smile and laugh.


– Hillary Clinton, U.S. senator, presidential hopeful



 


 


I will be the famous television preacher Joel Osteen, since like him I am a devout Christian. This costume isn’t much of a stretch of the imagination since I love the Christian religion. I will wear a “blinged”-out cross around my neck and carry my favorite copy of the King James Bible, which is also diamond encrusted since in our family we honor and celebrate our religion every day. Just ask my longtime pastor, Jeremiah Wright. Hallelujah, praise the Lord! 


– Barack Obama, U.S. senator, presidential hopeful


 


 


I will dress up as an upper-class elegant woman. I am so mortified after this election that I need to escape for a while and go into hiding. You know, during and after 9/11 many New Yorkers told me I have such compassionate eyes, so why not accentuate them with some mascara? Even during 9/11, while I was deeply involved with repairing the city, I always made sure my shoes matched my suit. So now this Purim I’m taking it to the next level. Did I mention 9/11?


– Rudy Giuliani, failed presidential candidate


 

 

 

 

 



They say leprechauns are fictional characters but I will, by donning their traditional neon green suit and buckle shoes, finally prove to the uneducated Western world that they do exist. We in Iran know full well that leprechauns do exist; they are our allies who jointly work with us to “catch me lucky charms” – which is code for taking over the whole world. Certain things in life are make-believe – women’s rights, free speech, a fantasyland called Israel – but leprechauns are all too real.


– Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iranian president

Ita Yankovich

Borders And Boundaries (Conclusion)

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

         Two weeks ago I wrote about a culture of self-indulgence and instant gratification that seems to have permeated Western society. It is so prevalent that North Americans have thrown financial caution to the wind and many are drowning in debt. (The luckier ones break even, but are not setting aside or saving money for emergency situations like unexpected unemployment.)


 

         If something catches their eye, they buy it – with no thought of the consequences. I attributed this self-indulgent, even reckless, behavior to two factors – a lack of boundaries due to secularism, and low self-esteem.

 

         With religious observance becoming passé, people are growing up with no restrictions, no limits and no boundaries to guide their impulses. There are no “can’t,” “not allowed,” or “it’s forbidden” in their lives. Hence many never had the opportunity to develop such life-enhancing attributes as patience, self-control and self-restraint.

 

         In this column, I will focus on the issue of low self-esteem.

 

         Human nature is such that no one wants to feel inferior. No one wants to think they are a “loser” and that they don’t measure up to their peers. Everyone likes to see himself or herself as being “cool,” or a winner. How else do you explain sports fans? Often their lives revolve around the game and the outcome of each one can affect the mood of an entire school, city, and even country. If your team wins, you walk around elated, feeling superior.

 

         But if you think about it, why is that? Why should the performance of a group of strangers affect a person’s mood? Why should Joe Average be so emotionally invested in how his team does? It is because being associated with a winner (famous people fall into this category as well, no matter how messed up their lives are) makes a person feel good about himself or herself. For someone with poor self-esteem, his or her sense of inadequacy is replaced with a sense of superiority, if only for a short time – until the next game or season.

 

         Likewise, people equate possessions as indicating that they are winners. The bigger, the newer and the pricier the item, the more the consumer feels on a higher madreigah than the “have-nots.” Shopping makes people who have a poor self-image feel better about themselves. Marketers know this and build on people’s insecurities. If you buy their product, you will either get the girl/guy, the job/promotion, your life will become exciting, etc. In other words, you become a “somebody” by dressing according to the latest fashion (even though it may totally not suit you) or by acquiring the newest gadgets.

 

         However, this sense of “coolness” is fleeting because almost overnight there is a new and improved version of whatever it is you bought – and got into crippling debt over.

 

         People who have a healthy sense of self don’t need to artificially make themselves feel good. They don’t need to buy and spend to know their true worth. They don’t need to be snobs, or ingratiate themselves with people they perceive as being superior because they are wealthy, popular or have “yichus.”

 

         How do you recognize someone who has positive self-esteem? They are the ones who are modest and unassuming, and who do not chase kavod – despite achievements they justifiably could brag about. Their modesty is a reflection of true yirat Shamayim because they know that all they have is a gift from Hashem; and not because they are so special or better.

 

         Those who live Torah lives know that the authentic and long-lasting way to feeling good about themselves is by giving, not by getting. Ask yourself this question: Who feels more positive about herself – someone who sent a meal over to a family whose mother is in the hospital, or the person who bought designer shoes with an inflated price tag, shoes that likely will be out of season around the time the credit card bill arrives in the mail?

 

         Do you ever wonder why we love our children so much, even though they complicate our lives so drastically? They take away our leisure time, interrupt our sleep, and drain our finances and mental and physical stamina. You’d think we’d resent them. But in fact the very opposite occurs; we love them fiercely. Why? Because they make us give and give and give, and we feel so fulfilled and so good about ourselves. And our self-esteem, our sense of worth soars.

 

         Sadly, shopping till we drop, in a subconscious desire to elevate our sense of self, is a temporary fix – at best. At worst, you’ll really be down in the dumps when the bill collectors come knocking.

Cheryl Kupfer

Reconsidering Iraqi Women

Wednesday, November 1st, 2006

9 Parts of Desire


Written and performed by Heather Raffo


Directed by Joanna Settle


September 29-November 12, 2006


Arena Stage


1101 Sixth Street, SW, Washington, DC


(202) 488-3300, www.arena-stage.org


 


 


 “I try to tell momma she won’t get stolen. Her hair is not that nice. They only steal people whose families have money. But she says, ‘Don’t tempt your fates; now they steal little girls to take them out of the country.’ Today I thought maybe I should get stolens [sic], so I could leave my country.”

 

 So says an Iraqi girl named Samura, as she plays with her abaya (a traditional Iraqi black robe-like garment) in between dance steps to N’Sync music. As she watches her satellite television, Samura reflects upon her family – “I hate my momma! Baba, my father, he said I am smart, but momma says I am stupid” – and upon the political landscape.

 

 “Today even they showed papa Saddam on TVs, and they look through his hair to make fun of him – Do you have lice in your hair? – that is always how we tease in the school when we want to be the most cruel to the poorest kids. Do you have lice?” she says. “I don’t know if he had lice – but to see it like that, he looked like an old man, like a baby. I felt sorry for him, but I didn’t cry.”

 

 Samura is one of the nine Iraqi women depicted in Heather Raffo’s one-woman show, “9 Parts of Desire.” Raffo conceived of the play when she visited the Saddam Art Center in Baghdad in 1993. In the museum, she found many portraits of Saddam Hussein (often billboard size), but in a back room, she discovered a painting titled “Savagery,” depicting a woman clinging to a tree. After researching the artist and interviewing Iraqis, Raffo wrote the play, although the Arena Stage website is quick to note the disclaimer: “Please be aware that all characters in this play are fictitious. The character of Layal is in no way meant to personify the real life artist Layla Attar. Inspiration for her character was purely taken from having seen her painting ‘Savagery’.”

 

 



Heather Raffo as Nanna. Courtesy of Arena Stage


 

 

 Raffo’s play is an unusual performance to address in these pages. The word “Jew” appears only once in the entire script, and it is part of a list that includes Sunni, Shia, Kurd and Christian. The word “Israel” appears three times, each of which refers to the land without any Jewish connotations. But Raffo’s play – albeit not even marginally Jewish in literal content – struck me, as a Jew, as particularly relevant.

 

 “Actually I cried today too when I saw papa Saddam on TVs,” reconsiders Samura, who later reveals that her father and brothers were killed by Saddam, “because he stole my father, so I thought he was bigger than anyone, but he didn’t even fight to death. I felt ashames [sic], because why I am afraid from him all my life? Momma, she is right. I am stupid.”

 

 Although Samura either suffers from a learning disorder or simply lacks an education (or both), her observation that her fears, which had previously carried larger-than-life proportions were now cut down to size, is a perspective worth considering in the current war on terror. It is only the rare racist, whom I have heard refer to all Iraqis as a single entity of “terrorists” or “heathens,” or the like. But I found myself paying careful attention to the wide variety of characters that Raffo presents in “9 Parts” who span the religious gamut – from a traditional 38-year-old Bedouin named Amal, who wears her abaya, in between telling the story of her many failed marriages – to the painter, Layal, who wears her abaya as a smock and worries about leaving Iraq, because “Maybe I am not so good artist outside Iraq.”

 

 It is often very hard to remember that people, though foreign and of different cultures, are still people, and I found myself very intrigued by stories of people I’d have never conceived of before. An old woman named Mulaya (a mulaya is a hired woman who leads other women in call-and-response mourning at funerals), who is obsessed with continuity and history, throws old shoes into the river. “My feet hurt. I have holes in my shoes. I have holes now even in my feet,” she says. “There are holes everywhere. Even in this story.”

 

 A whiskey drinking Iraqi exile, Huda, now in her 70s, reflects, “Well, exile in London for the intellectuals, is mostly Scotch, of course politics, and poetry.” Huda lays out what she calls the dilemma: “Personally, I have my doubts about American policy. I feel they’re making their own map of the Middle East; still I prefer this chaos to the regime, because Saddam was the worst enemy to the people than anybody else.” Huda maintains that Saddam taught his men how to brutally murder; his henchmen’s atrocities are so inhumane that they couldn’t have been innately known.

 

 An anonymous doctor has begun counting deformed babies. “Look, in June alone six babies no head, four abnormally large heads, now today another one with two heads. Such high levels of genetic damage do not occur naturally. These things, maybe you see them once in a textbook.” She laments the fact that children play at bombsites and take bullets to school “to show their classmates what they collected from America. One came in wearing a bullet around his neck, a bullet tipped in depleted uranium around his neck.”

 

 Another woman, Umm Ghada, has taken her daughter Ghada’s name, after Ghada (which means “tomorrow”) was boiled alive with many others in a bomb shelter.

 

 “So I am Umm Ghada, ‘mother of Ghada’,” she says, “It is a sign of joy and respect to call a parent by their kunya (an honorific reference to the parent by child’s name).”

 

 The two final characters are an American girl (who also goes anonymous) with an Iraqi father who watches the havoc in Iraq on CNN, and Nanna, described in the stage instructions as “an old, old woman, scrappy and shrewd, she has seen it all.” Nanna tries to sell her wares on a street corner, and eventually offers the audience Layal’s painting of a woman-as-a-tree, pitching it as more valuable, after Layal was killed by a bomb.

 

 I saw the play during its nine-month premiere at the Manhattan Ensemble Theater in New York in the fall of 2004. Arena Stage is a more open space than Manhattan Ensemble, and the play seems to have benefited a little from the claustrophobic space. But the lines that kept surfacing in my head after seeing the premiere were the same ones that struck me after the second viewing: the commentaries on freedom.

 

 As Americans, we so often think of freedom as the domain of license and no restraint, whereas as Jews, we are told, “You shall not find a free person, but s/he who is engaged in the Torah.” Raffo’s characters cling to their tradition – to what makes them Iraqis at their deepest cores – as expansive, dynamic and safe, rather then containing. They have complaints, to be sure. Amal reflects, “I have no peace. Always I am looking for peace. Do you know peace? I think only mens [sic] have real peace. Womans [sic] she cannot have peace. What you think?”

 

 But it is perhaps Layal’s story about responsibility that is most imperative. “There is a restaurant with a sign, ‘come in, eat all you want, free of charge. Your grandson will pay the bill’,” she begins. “So a young man, a teenager, he goes in happy for the free meal; he eats, and eats, and eats. When he is done eating all he wants, the waiter brings him a bill. The young man says to the waiter, ‘No, your sign says free of charge, my grandson will pay the bill.’ The waiter says ‘Yes, indeed sir, but this – this is your grandfather’s bill’.”

 

 This sense of continuity and family is the cause of the Iraqi-American’s obsession with CNN shots of destruction, and it is what keeps the exiled Huda talking about the very country that cast her out. It is what makes Mulaya dump old shoes in the river and retrieve them at the end of each day. And it is what makes Layal scared of Americans. “I think you’re dangerous – most Americans they are not so attached this way. They feel so free, even to be alone. They are not tied to each other or to anyone. I am afraid to be alone. I don’t want freedom – to be alone? I don’t care for it; I like protection. All I want is to feel it, love.” As Jews, this is surely something to which we can relate.

 

 Menachem Wecker is a painter and assistant editor of B’nai B’rith Magazine in Washington, D.C. He welcomes comments at mwecker@gmail.com.

Menachem Wecker

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/reconsidering-iraqi-women/2006/11/01/

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