Photo Credit: Asher Schwartz

{Originally posted to the PreOccupied Territory website}

Tehran, December 25 – Leaders of the Islamic Republic if Iran expressed confidence today that as opposed to the Obama administration’s treatment of its ally Israel, no United Nations Security Council resolution against Iran would withstand an American veto, local sources report.


Newspapers in the Persian capital carried word of increasing confidence in the offices of the Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and President Hasan Rouhani that while Obama and his diplomatic advisers are set on humiliating Israel and weakening her, in departure from decades of explicit US policy, there is next to nothing Iran can do that would spark the same hostility from the White House or State Department under the 45th president.

“Obama’s reported hostility to Netanyahu is really only a pretext,” noted Foreign Minister Javad Zarif. “He’s been angling to abandon Israel since before he took office, and his Cairo speech made that clear – remember when he refused to address the Knesset, instead opting for a convention center on the outskirts of Jerusalem? The bad blood with Bibi was just a convenient way of pinning blame for the whole dynamic on Netanyahu, and trying to weaken him politically.”

“But if you look at Obama’s tolerance for our shenanigans, it’s a completely different story,” he continued. “We’ve been violating the nuclear deal right and left, flouting restrictions that are supposed to keep us from developing ballistic missile technology and exporting violence – not to mention taking hostages and holding them for diplomatic and economic ransom. And what does the administration do? Gives us more money, looks the other way on violations, grants secret dispensations to the terms of the deal, and tries to portray every Iranian violation as acceptable, part of the deal, or unimportant. Just so the deal, now meaningless, could be preserved. So do you think he’d let the UN Security Council treat the world’s largest state sponsor of terrorism get treated as it treat’s the region’s only democracy? No, I don’t either.”

Analysts concurred with the minister. “Really, it’s only Israel that receives American wrath for building homes,” observed former Syrian Foreign Minister Farouk a-Shara. “The European Union sponsors construction all over the West Bank, but that’s OK, because it’s not for Jews. The Iranians themselves could start a construction program specifically for violent Palestinian terrorists and their families, and even the US would look the other way. There’s a part of me that wonders whether Iran nuking Washington would even be enough for Obama to scuttle the nuclear deal or even back an anti-Iran resolution.”