Question: Before leaving a mourner who is sitting shiva, one says, “HaMakom yenachem et’chem betoch she’ar aveilei Tziyon ViYerushalayim – May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. What is the source of this pasuk?
Zelig Aronson
Via email
Answer: You are not the first to ask this question; there is indeed much discussion of this matter. The “pasuk” you quote is in actuality not a verse from Scripture, but a tikkun chachamim, an enactment of the Rabbis issued in response to a need.
The Jerusalem Talmud (Berachot 3:2) explains the practice of the shura, the line the menachamim (consolers) would form. The consolers would stand in a line and each one would say words of consolation to the mourner. The commentary of the author of Sefer Chareidim states (ibid.) that they would say, “Titnachem min hashamayim,” – “May you be comforted from heaven.”
Rabbi Yekutiel Yehuda Greenwald quotes the above source in his Kol Bo Al Aveilut (Perek 3, siman 4, siman katan 22), and states that the consolers said, “HaMakom yenachem et’chem betoch she’ar aveilei Tziyon ViYerushalayim,” “May the Holy One [lit. The Place] console you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.” Yet we do not find this quote in the above-mentioned Talmudic source.
The Gaon Rav Chaim Binyamin Goldberg, in his Pnei Baruch on the topic of mourning (siman 11, se’if katan 5) states that when one takes leave of mourners one says, “HaMakom yenachem…” and the mourners answer Amen. He quotes as his source the commentary Perisha on the Tur Shulchan Aruch (siman 393). However, in that source the exact text is, “Hashem yenachemcha im she’ar aveilei Tziyon.”
We must therefore infer that the contemporary wording might be a free adaptation of the more ancient quoted text. And we have a rule that once a custom is established, we do not abandon the path that our forebears set before us, as the Talmud (Beza 4b) teaches: “Take heed of the customs of your forebears, which have come down to you.”
Recently, at a conference of the Rabbinical Alliance, one of our members Rabbi Meir Melnicke, citing the Pnei Menachem (the Gerer Rebbe, Rav Pinchas Menachem Alter, zt”l) gave a beautiful explanation for the term “HaMakom – the place” that we use in our consolation to mourners. The Rebbe explains that through our mitzvot we earn a makom – a place on high in Gan Eden, and that is what we console the mourner: that his departed merit that place.
I would like to add my own novel explanation. That HaMakom does indeed refer to the Shechina – the Holy Spirit of Hashem which formerly rested in the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, but as we are exiled, the Shechina too has gone into exile. At such time as we experience a loss Hashem joins in with our mourning, comforting us with the hope of the imminent return of His Shechina to Zion and Jerusalem, and the return of all those dearly departed souls.
Now the question arises: In the event only one person is to be consoled (where there are no other mourners), should we change the older term “et’chem” (plural) to “ot’cha” (singular) or “otach” (depending on gender and on the number of mourners present?
The Pnei Baruch says that we do make such a change. However, various Chasidic sources state that we always use the plural form.
The Talmud (Berachot 18) would seem to support this latter wording. In a lengthy discussion involving numerous biblical quotes, the Gemara sets out to prove that the righteous, even when they are dead, remain fully aware, whereas the wicked are compared to the dead even when they are alive. The Talmud then relates an incident that proves that the departed do, indeed, comprehend.
Thus, when we comfort the mourners we comfort the departed soul as well, and this serves as a tikkun, a restoration for the soul, thus the need for the plural reference.
Another interpretation is that “et’chem” is considered a more formal way of address than the more familiar “ot’cha,” a usage option available in Yiddish and German as well as in other languages.
