Rebbetzin Fraidy Gerlitzly and her husband, Rabbi Levi Gerlitzky, run the Chabad Jewish Center Big Island in Kailua Kona, Hawaii. Rebbetzin Fraidy has trained with Sara Gita Soble to become a Relationshift coach in order to help women transform their relationships with their husbands, using the 13 Relationshift Principles that are based on genuine Torah sources.

Rebbetzin Fraidy shared three of those principles with us:


1. Receiving is made up of Space and Value–the man is the giver and the woman is the receiver. When a woman is open to receiving a man’s thoughts and ideas, she creates a space for him to express himself (without jumping in, cutting him off, or yelling at him.) In addition, when a woman asks herself the value of what her husband contributes to their relationship, she can step back and truly see the good that he brings into the marriage. This helps her reframe him, and thereby reframe her perspective. What we look for, is what we find. When we perceive things differently, we act differently.

2. I Choose the Third Way–Often, a man will have one idea of what to do, and a woman will have a different idea of what to do in a certain situation. Instead of the usual 50/50 compromise, Rebbetzin Fraidy explains to us how opening space for a third way helps both the woman and the man to open up opportunities for another solution that works for them both.

3. I Choose to Trust the Connection–Trusting the connection strengthens the connection. Rebbetzin Fraidy talks about how women can tap into the connection between them and their husband that is always available.

To learn more about Relationshift, or to hire a Relationshift coach, visit

Contact: [email protected]

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Vera Kessler is a wife and mother of three children whose goal in life is to inspire Jewish women to live their lives with meaning and a strong connection to Hashem. As a vehicle for this mission, she created the America's Top Rebbetzins podcast, where she interviews inspiring rebbetzins who share their words of wisdom and unique insights on living a life filled with clarity and purpose.