Photo Credit: Jewish Press

There are lots of euphemisms to say someone’s not super intelligent. I’ve developed some of my own over the years that have a bit more of a frum spin to it. Feel free to use any of these:

“He’s definitely a few daf short of a masechta.”


“She went to the University of Chelm.”

“Not all the barley’s in the chulent.”

I sometimes have trouble relating some of my humor to people that aren’t Jewish since it feels like their lives are just so different from mine. Even on a basic level, I’m just thinking, “Do non-Jews even own a crockpot? Why would they? Do they even play board games? When does that happen? Family game night? That’s something I’m pretty sure only exists in commercials for board games.”

I’m pretty sure the concept of chulent wouldn’t exist if not for the Jews. I feel like the first person to make chulent was like, “Okay, I didn’t have time to buy or cook anything for Shabbos, so whatever I find in the cabinets or fridge, I’m just gonna dump in this pot and hope for the best.” It’s a good thing that some of those things included potatoes and meat, because we were this close to one of the signature Jewish foods being a recipe of mustard, yogurt, and Wacky Mac.


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Eli Lebowicz is a standup comedian. He did 90+ virtual shows during Covid, and is thrilled to perform live again, without having to stare at nostrils through a webcam. He’s a Levi, but doesn’t sing or play instruments, so in the Beis HaMikdash, he’ll probably be the guy taking temperatures. To book Eli for a comedy gig, visit