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Being in a relationship is all about second chances. And third and fourth and fifth chances. We mess up, make bad choices and decisions, and hurt each other in the process. Unlike cancel culture, we are given another chance. Our misstep isn’t held against us forever. In a relationship, our mistakes don’t define us. Of course, we will give our loved one another chance. The longer you’re married, the more opportunities there are to keep making the same mistakes. It’s hard to change. But there are also more opportunities for those second chances. To reaffirm to each other that we’re still trying to figure it out. That we’re worthy of being given a second chance – or a 20th chance – to try to change the dance moves or avoid the predictable trigger the next time around.

Everyone wants a second chance. It’s a gift we continually grant the people we care about in our lives. And it’s the hallmark of a committed relationship. It tells our loved ones that you are more than your mistake. You are worthy and redeemable. Second chances grant grace; and we would want the same grace granted to us.

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Alexandra Fleksher holds a M.S. in Jewish Education from Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education and a B.A. in English Communications from Stern College for Women. Her essays on contemporary Jewish issues have been published in various blogs and publications. She lives in Cleveland, Ohio, with her husband and four children.