On Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

Were you to play a game of word association, Pesach would immediately be connected with "cleaning "and "company" (and possibly, potatoes.) Pesach is the one holiday that magnet-like, pulls families together.

Outside is a winter-white wonderland replete with dazzling trees, wires, and sidewalks seemingly wrapped in glittery silver foil. It’s quite lovely to look at, which is about all I can do since I’m stuck indoors. Icicle-laden tree branches are bent and hunch-backed by the frozen heaviness of their popsicle-like burden, and the voices squawking from the battery-operated transistor radio I am listening to are warning people not to go out since walkways and roads are extremely slippery, and there is real danger from falling trees.

According to their misguided logic, life must have a seder – a specific order – with the oldest getting married first, followed by younger siblings. However, their thinking is so illogical.

Way back in the "good old days" in Jerusalem, before the Jews were exiled, singles looked forward to the 15th day of Av, known as Tu B'Av. On this day, unmarried girls and boys had the opportunity to pair off and become couples. The girls, all dressed in white and in a way that none could tell who came from wealth or poverty, would dance in front of the young men, who would then choose the one who caught his eye and marry her.

The 21 days of semi-mourning that is collectively referred to as the Three Weeks, culminating with the fast day of Tisha b’Av - the ultimate day of mourning in the Jewish calendar - begins in a few short days. During this period of time Jews reflect on the myriad of tragedies that have befallen us since the destruction of the Holy Temple and our subsequent exile.

A popular topic of discussion in newspapers, magazines and talk shows revolves around the management of personal finances - or rather the lack of them. In most cases, dealing with overwhelming debt is the topic de jour. Seems many people are drowning in it. Spending more than they have has mired countless consumers into a financial quicksand with maxed out credit cards and collection agencies knocking on the door. Speaking of doors, many face eviction and the loss of their home.

Purim is just a few days away, and Jews young and old are gearing up to celebrate this most festive of holidays, during which all will eat, drink and nosh merrily and in great relief over our come-up-from-behind triumph against a vicious Jew hater whose goal was to annihilate the Jewish people, but who instead had the tables turned against him in a dramatic and unforeseen manner. Sadly, bullying is alive and well in the 21st century afflicting all societies and the individuals that comprise them. For those who think that our heimishe communities have been spared the scourge of bullying - it's time to get their head out of the cholent.

We have just completed three sets of three-day Yom Tov/Shabbat combinations, and now with some sadness (tempered with a dollop of relief) we return to "normalcy" and our daily routines.

I know that in the great scheme of things, these irritants are minor, but they do tend to add up.

The price of deliberate obliviousness is very high - emotionally, physically, socially, and financially.

It was one of those cold, rain-soaked evenings - the kind that make you look forward to a hot drink, a good book and a soft couch to curl up on.

Make no mistake: in the wrong hands cars are weapons of mass destruction.

Truth be told, if you were to ask graduate students in ancient history who Amalek was, you’d likely get blank stares.

I recently received an e-mail from a woman who, based on her skillful command of English, is surely a North American living in Israel.

After my son Moshe got married in Israel several years ago, I decided to keep in more frequent touch with my cousin Ruzah. I would call her on a weekly basis (a good opportunity to practice the Ivrit I learned in day school), speaking to a woman who was of an older, wiser generation - rendering her more like a mother. Ruzah, like all my first cousins was indeed my parents’ age, married with children before I was born. Her experiences mirrored my father’s generation, although she really was from mine. Her mother and my father were siblings and my unknown grandparents were hers.

Last month, when I was in Jerusalem, I naturally went to the Kotel, a place I always felt was home, since my paternal ancestors were Kohanim.

The last worldwide pandemic to hit the global population was the Spanish Flu, over 100 years ago. Over the last few months, I've asked myself why a pandemic now – and for over two years?

Uttering this plea is my verbal version of going after rodfei Yisrael. In Jewish law, one can initiate pre-emptive self-defense, and "take out" someone before they do it to you.

But a doctor, even a specialist, is not a rav steeped in Torah knowledge, whose daas Torah is indisputable. I know that in most medical situations, there is a second opinion by an equally learned specialist who can disagree with his colleague’s conclusion as to the best course of action to take and when.

I read an article recently that described the fascinating phenomenon of mainstream, well-educated, responsible men and women deciding not to have children. According to the article, these people have given the matter a great deal of thought and have come to the conclusion that parenting is not for them.

I knew that there would be many women at this Chanukah party who, like me, were reeling over the news that a friend of ours had been niftar a couple of days earlier from cancer. We were beyond shocked.

My first-born son's recent marriage was a huge simcha for the family, but the wedding was actually the culmination of a simcha that began years ago - at his bris.

Is there a precedent in the thousands of years since Jews accepted the Torah where there was such a widespread disdain of working?

Every Friday evening, in Jewish homes across the world, the question is asked, "Eishet chayil mi yimtzah – The woman of valor, where can she be found?"

What struck me this time was the fact that these animals have no guyvah chinam – baseless snobbery. (Remember, you saw this phrase first here.)

I recently became a bubbe again with the birth of a granddaughter, Kayla Elisheva.

With Pesach upon us, Jews must refrain from indulging in some of their favorite foods, drinks and even cosmetics for over a week.

Another Nine Days have come and gone, and we gratefully give a sigh of relief knowing that these days of deprivation - no meat, no swimming, no showering, no music, culminating in a 25 hour fast - no food or water - are finally behind us, and the rest of the sun-drenched summer is there for us to enjoy.

Think of how you feel when you pick up a baby and she starts crying and shrieking hysterically. You can't help but feel somewhat chagrined and inadequate.

Sadly, those who should be supportive and encouraging may be pessimistic by nature or have their own agenda for not wanting the individual to succeed.