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November 27, 2014 / 5 Kislev, 5775
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Rain, Blood, and Law
 
Report: Abbas’ Lack of Support Ditched Back-Channel Peace Process Talks

November 27, 2014 - 1:28 PM
 
Hamas Planned Massive Attack at Teddy Soccer Stadium in Jerusalem

November 27, 2014 - 11:58 AM
 
Israel’s Controversial Plastic Bag Law Delayed

November 27, 2014 - 8:54 AM
 
IDF Selects First Female Commander of Navy Ship

November 27, 2014 - 7:21 AM
 
3 Gazans Caught in Israel

November 27, 2014 - 6:42 AM
 
Israelis Donate Masses of Hair to Cancer Patients

November 27, 2014 - 3:32 AM
 
Israel’s 2014 Cruise Ship Tourist Numbers Affected By… Operation Pillar of Defense

November 26, 2014 - 11:45 PM
 
Heart Surgery for US Supreme Ct Justice Ginsburg

November 26, 2014 - 11:36 PM
 
Shas: For 0% VAT on Basic Goods, We’ll Join Coalition

November 26, 2014 - 9:10 PM
 
Arab Charged with 3 Arson Attempts at Hadassah Hospital, Where He Worked

November 26, 2014 - 8:37 PM
 
The Hidden Reason the United States Won’t Release Pollard.

November 26, 2014 - 5:30 PM
 
Wife of Har Nof Terrorist to Lose Residency and Financial Privileges

November 26, 2014 - 4:02 PM
 
IDF to Stop Persecution of Observant Soldiers With Beards

November 26, 2014 - 2:41 PM
 
Likud Proposes Multipoint Plan to Fight Arab Terrorism in Israel

November 26, 2014 - 12:20 PM
 
Kinneret Rises 3.5 Centimeters in Overnight Rain

November 26, 2014 - 11:28 AM
 
Swiss Philanthropists Rewarding Citizens Who Stop Terror Attacks

November 26, 2014 - 11:21 AM
 
Released for Publication: Netanel Arami Murdered in Terror Attack

November 26, 2014 - 11:13 AM
 
Egged Bus Hits 3 Arabs, 1 Dead

November 26, 2014 - 10:59 AM
 
Fake Bomb Planted Near Shavei Shomron

November 26, 2014 - 10:28 AM
 
ISIS ‘Prince’ of Iraq’s Anbar Province Killed

November 26, 2014 - 10:02 AM
 
Ferguson Fuels Unrest in America But Israel is Blamed

November 26, 2014 - 9:12 AM
 
MK Yuli Edelstein Tells Chabad Rabbis Why He ‘Lost It’ Over Tefillin

November 26, 2014 - 7:15 AM
 
Turkish Legislator Pens Bill Naming Israel Terrorist State

November 26, 2014 - 7:09 AM
 
ISIS Stones to Death Two Gay Men

November 26, 2014 - 6:20 AM
 
Israel’s Recognition of Aramean Nationality Empowers Arameans Worldwide In Demand For Rights

November 26, 2014 - 5:48 AM
 
Pro-Hezbollah Singer Arrested for Incitement in Lebanon

November 26, 2014 - 1:30 AM
 
Thousands at Memorial for Jerusalem’s Har Nof Massacre Victims

November 26, 2014 - 12:39 AM
 
European Parliament Puts Off ‘Palestine’ Vote – For now

November 26, 2014 - 12:11 AM
 
Pro-ISIS Group Says ‘Use Ferguson Flames to Fuel Terror in America’

November 25, 2014 - 11:26 PM
 
Police Confirm: Old City Attack was Planned Ambush

November 25, 2014 - 9:16 PM
 
Additional Security for MK Tzipi Hotovely

November 25, 2014 - 8:33 PM
 
Work Accident or Mistaken Identity? Arab Car Destroyed by Firebomb, 3 Injured

November 25, 2014 - 8:13 PM
 
Major Rainstorm to Hit Israel

November 25, 2014 - 7:13 PM
 
Eichmann Trial Documents Found in Trash to be Auctioned

November 25, 2014 - 6:22 PM
 
And the Only US State Without a Chabad Is…

November 25, 2014 - 6:18 PM
 
Palestinian Authority TV Blames ‘Occupation’ for Killing Har Nof ‘Martyrs’ [video]

November 25, 2014 - 6:10 PM
 
Dutch Say No to “Palestine”

November 25, 2014 - 6:04 PM
 
Police Chief: Think of 1 Billion Muslims and Don’t Pray on Temple Mount

November 25, 2014 - 5:32 PM
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Marriage and Relationships
Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary
 

Posted on: January 18th, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Mordechai, My wife has read your articles and books. It sounds so nice to be able to put one’s marriage first. But let’s be real. I have a job, kids, minyanim to catch and daf yomi shiurim to attend. My wife and I are stressed over money. Who isn’t? Don’t you think you’re causing unrealistic expectations for marriages when you say, “put your marriage first?” How much can I work at my marriage when everything else is going on? Shouldn’t the work in my life be what I’m supposed to be doing, namely to make my marriage financially viable? Maybe there are times in a marriage that you shouldn’t expect to be so “in love.” My marriage won’t be happy if I’m broke.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: January 6th, 2006

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

As a child you had two basic needs. One was to be happy and loved, and the second was for your parents to be happy and loved. If you grew up and these emotional needs were not met, then your unconscious mind seeks a partner to help you meet those needs. The process will take place by recreating your childhood wounds in your present marriage. This way you can finish unfinished emotional business and move on with your life.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: September 16th, 2005

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Marriage, by contrast, is an institution of close, complementary cooperation. Its success or failure depends upon the the couples, ability to work together as a TEAM. However, in order to accomplish this, we first have to understand that in marriage we carry our own emotional baggage along with us — some good and some, not so good. The not-so-good seems to stand out a lot more.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: August 12th, 2005

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Marriage is not like every other human relationship. It brings two incompatible people together for the purpose of healing and growth. The degree of healing and growth will depend on many factors. One such factor is the ability to give love. Love is the foundation of married life. Even though many people talk about it, there is a great deal of doubt as to whether they really know how to give love.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: March 23rd, 2005

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

As we come to the end of our series of articles titled "who am I", I would like to devote this last set of preferences, Judging Vs Perceiving, to singles. If you recall, about a year ago I wrote an article titled Commitment Phobic (www.cpcteam.org). It was based on the fact that people are not the same. We have different energy levels, make decisions based on different criteria, depending on what makes us most comfortable. The focus was on Perceiving types a personality that likes to keeps their options open as long as possible.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: February 23rd, 2005

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

The Jewish community has never been as challenged as it is today. I believe that many of our problems could have been avoided if we took a more proactive approach. I recently met with a doctor who had just married off his first daughter. He wanted to know what exactly pre-Marital enrichment is. I responded by explaining the concept of self awareness, that it's not possible to know someone else if you don't know who you are!

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: January 26th, 2005

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

The Jewish community has never been as challenged as it is today. I believe that many of our problems could have been avoided if we took a more proactive approach. I recently met with a doctor who had just married off his first daughter. He wanted to know what exactly pre-Marital enrichment is. I responded by explaining the concept of self awareness, that it's not possible to know someone else if you don't know who you are!

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: December 29th, 2004

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Almost every profession has what we call the tools of the trade, and with marriage it isn't any different. If you're single, engaged or a newlywed, you need to have the tools it takes to build a successful marriage. Yet for many of us even when the chosen and kallah classes are over, they still find it difficult to use the tools that they have just learned.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: September 29th, 2004

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

The Dubna Magid in Safer Hamidos, states that "love is one of the most important midos in a person". Hashem has given us a most powerful energy source with the potential to grow and heal unresolved issues of the past. But in order to activate this energy source we must first try to understand the levels of complexity love has to offer.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: August 13th, 2004

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

The Torah tells us that we are put onto this world to give, not just to take, as difficult as this may seem for some people. Married life provides a unique opportunity to give to another person. When husband and wife are willing to give whatever it takes to make each other happy, they will move onto the next stage called “love.” This is where the Shechina (Divine Presence) rests.

Respler-Yael
 

Posted on: July 14th, 2004

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Dr. Respler, After reading the letter written for the April 23rd issue, I would like to share my experience and some of the lessons that I've learned related to the topic of friends, both single and newly married.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: February 18th, 2004

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Dear Moishe, I enjoy your articles in the Jewish Press very much. I am very much for trying to prevent problems through education as well. I am a social worker in a frum agency for individuals with developmental disabilities. As tremendous strides have been made over the past decade for this population challenges arise along with the opportunities. For example - some individuals get married and may have an IQ of a 6 or 7 year old child.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: October 1st, 2003

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

In my last article, I discussed the topic of "teens at risk." We have always had "teens at risk" within our yeshiva system, but they were segregated and referred to as the "bum class." This class was separated from the mainstream students, and given its own separate rebbe to provide support services. The success of this system was due to the fact that yeshivas followed the Torah con­cept that "majority rules".

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: September 24th, 2003

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

When Rov Pam, a”h, gave me the go ahead to do Pre-Marital counseling, I knew in time I would add more topics to my curriculum. But I never dreamed that I would be talking about teenagers at risk to a couple that just go engaged! But the fact remains that I do. Couples are getting […]

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: July 16th, 2003

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

When searching for a partner in marriage we are often attracted to people who are different than we are. Sometimes the very same qualities we find charming and exciting are the ones we find ourselves trying to change after marriage. Rather than understand, accept and appreciate our partners for who they are, we turn the differences into the source of our frustration, irritation and dissatisfaction.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: June 18th, 2003

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Choosing a life partner is possibly the most compli­cated process of a lifetime. In this article, we will try to define, understand and explain how we choose a part­ner. To do so, we need to have some understanding and awareness of the dynamics that bring a man and a woman towards marriage. It starts with the word attraction.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: May 14th, 2003

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

There is something about an approaching wedding that can cause a state of emotional upheaval. This should be of no surprise. In most cases, marriage reflects two sets of personalities; the chassan's and the kallah's. The parents too are involved. They produce a relationship that is more than the sum total of themselves. This relationship includes their family, and yet a separation is about to take place for both parent and child.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: April 17th, 2002

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

An alarmingly high percentage of youth grow up with no preparation for marriage, as evidenced by the break-up rate of marriages in the Jewish community. They may have been told, but not taught how communication and problem-solving skills create harmony for more shalom bayis (a peaceful home) in a marriage.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: February 27th, 2002

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Before marriage, the engaged couple has a tendency to emphasize similarities rather than their differences. It's normal for the couple to idolize each other, and since both are on their best behavior, they fail to learn much about their differences in personality. After Sheva Brachos they are launched upon life as a married couple and true personality traits and value systems become more apparent. Gradually, the two may recognize that they are not in such close agreement on everything as they may have thought they were during the engagement period.

Herskowitz-Moishe
 

Posted on: January 23rd, 2002

SectionsFamilyMarriage and Relationships

Most married couples face the problem of maintaining both independence in their marriage and a relationship with their parents. Can the partners achieve a degree of detachment and at the same time reassure their parents that they will remain loyal, respectful and affectionate? Can you as partners shift loyalty from your parents to your spouse and leave your childhood with its remembered mixture of pleasure and pains?

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