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Self Awareness. ‘Who Am I?’ (Part III)

14 Adar I 5765 – February 23, 2005
The Jewish community has never been as challenged as it is today. I believe that many of our problems could have been avoided if we took a more proactive approach. I recently met with a doctor who had just married off his first daughter. He wanted to know what exactly pre-Marital enrichment is. I responded by explaining the concept of self awareness, that it's not possible to know someone else if you don't know who you are!

Self Awareness. ‘Who Am I?’ (Part II)

16 Shevat 5765 – January 26, 2005
The Jewish community has never been as challenged as it is today. I believe that many of our problems could have been avoided if we took a more proactive approach. I recently met with a doctor who had just married off his first daughter. He wanted to know what exactly pre-Marital enrichment is. I responded by explaining the concept of self awareness, that it's not possible to know someone else if you don't know who you are!

Self Awareness. ‘Who Am I?’ (Part I)

17 Tevet 5765 – December 29, 2004
Almost every profession has what we call the tools of the trade, and with marriage it isn't any different. If you're single, engaged or a newlywed, you need to have the tools it takes to build a successful marriage. Yet for many of us even when the chosen and kallah classes are over, they still find it difficult to use the tools that they have just learned.

The Love Drug

14 Tishri 5765 – September 29, 2004
The Dubna Magid in Safer Hamidos, states that "love is one of the most important midos in a person". Hashem has given us a most powerful energy source with the potential to grow and heal unresolved issues of the past. But in order to activate this energy source we must first try to understand the levels of complexity love has to offer.

‘Please Don’t Leave Me!’

26 Av 5764 – August 13, 2004
The Torah tells us that we are put onto this world to give, not just to take, as difficult as this may seem for some people. Married life provides a unique opportunity to give to another person. When husband and wife are willing to give whatever it takes to make each other happy, they will move onto the next stage called “love.” This is where the Shechina (Divine Presence) rests.

Dear Dr. Yael

25 Tammuz 5764 – July 14, 2004
Dear Dr. Respler, After reading the letter written for the April 23rd issue, I would like to share my experience and some of the lessons that I've learned related to the topic of friends, both single and newly married.

Marriage 101

26 Shevat 5764 – February 18, 2004
Dear Moishe, I enjoy your articles in the Jewish Press very much. I am very much for trying to prevent problems through education as well. I am a social worker in a frum agency for individuals with developmental disabilities. As tremendous strides have been made over the past decade for this population challenges arise along with the opportunities. For example - some individuals get married and may have an IQ of a 6 or 7 year old child.

‘Majority Rules’ – The Bum Class

6 Tishri 5764 – October 1, 2003
In my last article, I discussed the topic of "teens at risk." We have always had "teens at risk" within our yeshiva system, but they were segregated and referred to as the "bum class." This class was separated from the mainstream students, and given its own separate rebbe to provide support services. The success of this system was due to the fact that yeshivas followed the Torah con­cept that "majority rules".

The Bum Class

27 Elul 5763 – September 24, 2003
When Rov Pam, a"h, gave me the go ahead to do Pre-Marital counseling, I knew in time I would add more topics to my...

Starting All Over

16 Tammuz 5763 – July 16, 2003
When searching for a partner in marriage we are often attracted to people who are different than we are. Sometimes the very same qualities we find charming and exciting are the ones we find ourselves trying to change after marriage. Rather than understand, accept and appreciate our partners for who they are, we turn the differences into the source of our frustration, irritation and dissatisfaction.

Choosing Your Mate

19 Sivan 5763 – June 18, 2003
Choosing a life partner is possibly the most compli­cated process of a lifetime. In this article, we will try to define, understand and explain how we choose a part­ner. To do so, we need to have some understanding and awareness of the dynamics that bring a man and a woman towards marriage. It starts with the word attraction.

Forgiven But Not Forgotten

13 Iyyar 5763 – May 14, 2003
There is something about an approaching wedding that can cause a state of emotional upheaval. This should be of no surprise. In most cases, marriage reflects two sets of personalities; the chassan's and the kallah's. The parents too are involved. They produce a relationship that is more than the sum total of themselves. This relationship includes their family, and yet a separation is about to take place for both parent and child.

A Window Of Opportunity

6 Iyyar 5762 – April 17, 2002
An alarmingly high percentage of youth grow up with no preparation for marriage, as evidenced by the break-up rate of marriages in the Jewish community. They may have been told, but not taught how communication and problem-solving skills create harmony for more shalom bayis (a peaceful home) in a marriage.

Making The Adjustment

16 Adar 5762 – February 27, 2002
Before marriage, the engaged couple has a tendency to emphasize similarities rather than their differences. It's normal for the couple to idolize each other, and since both are on their best behavior, they fail to learn much about their differences in personality. After Sheva Brachos they are launched upon life as a married couple and true personality traits and value systems become more apparent. Gradually, the two may recognize that they are not in such close agreement on everything as they may have thought they were during the engagement period.

Independence Day

11 Shevat 5762 – January 23, 2002
Most married couples face the problem of maintaining both independence in their marriage and a relationship with their parents. Can the partners achieve a degree of detachment and at the same time reassure their parents that they will remain loyal, respectful and affectionate? Can you as partners shift loyalty from your parents to your spouse and leave your childhood with its remembered mixture of pleasure and pains?

A Lesson In Self-Control

25 Elul 5761 – September 12, 2001
The objective of Pre-Marital Counseling is for couples to learn new skills on how to improve commu­nication, and resolve conflicts creatively. It would seem logical that the parents of these couples have learned from being together and through a lot of tough times that good communication is the single most important aspect of a satisfying relationship.

Commitment Phobia

3 Elul 5761 – August 21, 2001
People are not all the same. We have different energy levels, make decisions based on different criteria, and structure our lives in different ways,...

Maturity

6 Av 5761 – July 25, 2001
Marriage demands the best in maturity, but this does not mean that couples are necessarily mature to begin with. A factor of greatest importance in the success or failure of any marriage is the emotional maturity of the partners. Marriage is a cooperative venture involving two people who must make certain sacrifices for the partnership and for each other.

Avoiding Domestic Abuse

7 Tammuz 5761 – June 27, 2001
The term "domestic abuse" refers to a cycle of de­structive thoughts, feelings and actions that often in­volve power and control over another person through fear and intimidation. The batterers believe they are entitled to control their partners through emotional, eco­nomic and sexual abuse. They often use children to manipulate their spouses.

Pre-Marital Counseling: The Fear Of Giving

16 Sivan 5761 – June 6, 2001
The transition from single to married living necessi­tates many changes and adjustments. The success of the couple depends upon what each brings to the marriage. What may seem positive to one partner may be perceived as negative to the other partner. This failure in perception is one of the primary causes of marital friction and break­down.

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