Marriage and Relationships

I know it is best for you to be strong and not focus on this workmate. Don’t give her power to control your life.

We are all perfectly imperfect. When we start cataloging human beings for societal imperfections, we will always most definitely find something wrong.

The reason I feel so strongly about this safety device, is because I know first hand of very satisfied customers who have told me all sorts of stories on how it has gotten them out of thorny situations.

If overall everything seems so great, you wonder, why would you walk away over something small? Sure, there are a number of those “small” items, but surely, they are fixable, workable, or not even applicable in the near future. Still though, something doesn’t feel right.

We all should try to do chesed. However, we must protect our children when we do help others. We must guard their neshamas and try to keep our homes warm, loving and positive.

For an introvert, a date can feel like a huge obstacle that they are unable to scale. There is a lot of talking on dates.

When physicians prescribe steroids, they usually do it as a last choice. They don't inform the patient of the effects it can have on his personality since they don't want to suggest something that may not happen.

It's always exciting to start dating. At the same time, it can be overwhelming and daunting to make sense of the wonderful options of girls that come your way. There can be an element of uniformity to the resumes that makes it difficult to find the right one for you.

If this is an emotionally abusive situation, you would need to get your son out of the marriage, but if you can get the couple help and your daughter-in-law changes, the marriage can be saved.

It would certainly be helpful if we had a clear picture of exactly when we might meet the person we will marry. A marking on a calendar would allow us to schedule our lives just so – with time to accomplish personal goals while maintaining a clear path for someone new.

Your husband does not seem to recognize that the children are likely struggling in the same way that he did.

We can only assume that up until this point you have been pleased with your chosson, his qualities, and his character. Yet, over Sukkos, he drank one night and you are now questioning your whole future.

If, however, you are happy to give someone a second chance at a date, you do not box yourself in with lists or refuse to continue dating someone if he doesn’t meet your extensive checklist, and you know specifically why you did not connect, then you can rest assured.

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I wish you would have asked about a physical attribute, a speech impediment, or a height disparity. I would likely then have cautioned you to keep an open mind and to stretch your inherent beliefs.

A marriage filled with checks and balances and the need for an even playing field is always a recipe for conflict and resentment.

The first thing to try to do is stop the power struggles (or judgments) with your daughter. It is important to listen to what your daughter is telling you without correcting her or trying to change her.

In order to reduce tension and worry, you can try to calm your nervous system by using muscle relaxation, exercise, and meditation.

Dating can be daunting without the added pressure of seeking “kindness” above all else due to a difficult background. Of course you are looking for someone who is kind after your experience at home, as you hope to create a more peaceful life for your future family.

In reality, though, you need to marry against your negative imago... It is very difficult for people with a negative imago to marry against their imago.

This is not a dating problem. This is a life problem. Being a people pleaser is nice, until it makes you feel resentful and not productive.

Unfortunately people must envy your position in life and may not realize how much pressure they are putting on you due to their own issues. You must work on setting boundaries in your lives.

You are concerned that even if you are blessed with a “yes,” she may not like you after getting to know you better, and awkwardness with descend on both of your families forever and ever.

Try to always make your husband feel that he is the most important person in your life. A strong marriage builds healthy, confident children.

Unless you neglected to mention it in your question, I will assume his is not a mind-reader, a clairvoyant, or have telepathic powers. He cannot see your thoughts.

Perhaps you feel people only want things from you in a relationship. However, it is healthy to also take things from others. Do you give people a chance to give to you?

First dates are often fraught with nerves and there are those that are simply unable to put their best foot forward. This small window allows daters to barely scratch the surface of personality, temperament and shared interests.

I started at eighteen and that has not made a difference in my life. I went on shidduch dates, single events, traveled and still have not found my soul mate. There is only so much in one's control.

Meeting the right person and a successful marriage will definitely infuse your life with happiness. Dating and marriage, however, are not the “cure-all” for all sadness.

Sometimes the in-law relationship can reflect the relationship between the spouse and his own parents.