web analytics
March 29, 2015 / 9 Nisan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Lifetime Guarantee

Schmutter-041312

Otherwise, you can take it to Home Depot, and have them cut it in half, if you can find someone to help you over there.  If you can’t, just find the “garbage can” aisle and leave it there.

But no, it’s not easy to get rid of it.  That’s what they mean when they say “Lifetime guarantee.”

 

Dear Mordechai,

            At what point can my wife and I tell people that we’re expecting?

R.Z., Riverdale

Dear R.,

WE are not expecting.  Your wife is the one who’s expecting.  So really, it’s her news and her decision.  Sure, you have more responsibilities now, but that does not in any way equate with what your wife is doing.

But by all means, your newfound responsibilities are your news to share.

“I’ve been carrying the laundry basket up and down the stairs lately,” you can casually remark to the guys at shul.  (AT shul, not DURING shul.)  “Also, I’ve been scrubbing behind the toilet.  And I found my old undershirt.”

Mazel tov!” they’ll say, about the undershirt.  The rest of it won’t faze them.  Because honestly, even if you did tell your guy friends that you and your wife are expecting, men don’t really store that kind of information.  In a few months, when you tell them that you had a baby, they’re going to frown and say, “Again?  Didn’t you just have a baby like 3 months ago?  I know you said something about a baby.”

But I definitely see why you couldn’t ask your friends this question.  It’s for that same reason that I protected your identity by only providing your initials, your city, and the fact that your wife is pregnant but you haven’t told anybody.

 

Have any questions for “You’re Asking ME?”  They should be with mazal.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Lifetime Guarantee”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
18,000 Iranian Centrifuges
Netanyahu Warns Iran-Yemen-Nuclear Deal Axis ‘Dangerous to Humanity’ [video]
Latest Sections Stories
Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary

Are we allowed to lie for shalom bayis? It would seem so, but what might be a healthy guideline for when it’s okay and when it’s not?

book-To-Fill-The-Sky-With-Stars

The connection between what I experienced as a high school teenager and the adult I am today did not come easy to me.

Respler-032715

Isn’t therapy about being yourself; aren’t there different ways for people to communicate with each other?

South-Florida-logo

Jack was awarded a blue and gold first-place trophy, appropriately topped off with a golden bee.

Participating in ManiCures during the school day may feel like a break from learning, but the intended message to the students was loud and clear. Learning and chesed come in all forms, and can be fun.

Building campaign chairman Jack Gluck has led the effort over many years.

When using an extension cord always make sure to use the correct rated extension cord.

There was no question that when Mrs. Cohen entered the room to meet the teacher she was hostile from the outset.

Szold was among the founders and leaders (she served on its executive committee) of Ichud (“Unity”), a political group that campaigned against the creation of an independent, sovereign Jewish state in Eretz Yisrael.

My friend is a strong and capable Jewish woman, but she acted with a passivity that seemed out of character.

“If you don’t stand straight, you’ll never get a husband.”

First, sit down with your helpers and a pen and paper and break the jobs down into small parts.

More Articles from Mordechai Schmutter
Schmutter-031315

So generally, I dance for a few minutes and then stand off to the side with all the other people who don’t dance and feel like they have to make conversation, even though that’s when the music is the loudest.

Schmutter-021315

Imagine you were a doctor, and then, one day a year, everyone tried his or her hand at surgery.

Dear Mordechai,
How do I prevent my Smartphone from breaking the first time I drop it?
Shattered in Pieces

Because you can’t have kids pouring huge jugs of oil into tiny glasses, unless you want to turn your house into an environmental disaster.

So the real question is, “How can we, as hosts, make sure our guest beds are comfortable?” Because your guests will never say anything.

Though if you do have a schach mat, you’ll realize that it cannot actually support the weight of the water.

Maybe now that your kids are back in school, you should start cleaning for Pesach.

If I’m going on for oven mitts, I don’t want to see sock puppets until at least page 40.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/potpourri/lifetime-guarantee/2012/04/16/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: