web analytics
September 20, 2014 / 25 Elul, 5774
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Apartment 758x530 Africa-Israel at the Israel Real Estate Exhibition in New York

Africa Israel Residences, part of the Africa Israel Investments Group led by international businessman Lev Leviev, will present 7 leading projects on the The Israel Real Estate Exhibition in New York on Sep 14-15, 2014.



Lifetime Guarantee

Schmutter-041312

Otherwise, you can take it to Home Depot, and have them cut it in half, if you can find someone to help you over there.  If you can’t, just find the “garbage can” aisle and leave it there.

But no, it’s not easy to get rid of it.  That’s what they mean when they say “Lifetime guarantee.”

 

Dear Mordechai,

            At what point can my wife and I tell people that we’re expecting?

R.Z., Riverdale

Dear R.,

WE are not expecting.  Your wife is the one who’s expecting.  So really, it’s her news and her decision.  Sure, you have more responsibilities now, but that does not in any way equate with what your wife is doing.

But by all means, your newfound responsibilities are your news to share.

“I’ve been carrying the laundry basket up and down the stairs lately,” you can casually remark to the guys at shul.  (AT shul, not DURING shul.)  “Also, I’ve been scrubbing behind the toilet.  And I found my old undershirt.”

Mazel tov!” they’ll say, about the undershirt.  The rest of it won’t faze them.  Because honestly, even if you did tell your guy friends that you and your wife are expecting, men don’t really store that kind of information.  In a few months, when you tell them that you had a baby, they’re going to frown and say, “Again?  Didn’t you just have a baby like 3 months ago?  I know you said something about a baby.”

But I definitely see why you couldn’t ask your friends this question.  It’s for that same reason that I protected your identity by only providing your initials, your city, and the fact that your wife is pregnant but you haven’t told anybody.

 

Have any questions for “You’re Asking ME?”  They should be with mazal.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Lifetime Guarantee”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Protest rally against Metropolitan Opera staging Death of Klinghoffer on 9/22 at 4:30 pm at the Met.
For Grass Roots Klinghoffer Protest 9/22, Jewish Establishment MIA
Latest Sections Stories

Three sets of three-day Yomim Tovim can seem overwhelming – especially when we are trying to stay healthy.

Plotkin-092614

Is a missed opportunity to do a mitzvah considered a sin?

Teens-Twenties-logo

The sounds and scents of the kitchen are cozy, familiar, but loud in the silence.

Baim-092614-Plate

Everyone has a weakness. For some people it is the inability to walk past a sales rack without dropping a few hundred dollars. For others, it’s the inability to keep their house organized.

His entire life was dedicated to Torah and he became a pivotal figure in the transmittal of the Oral Torah to the next generation.

When you don’t have anyone else to turn to… that’s when you’re tied to Hashem the closest.

While we all go to restaurants for a good meal, it is dessert, that final taste that lingers in your mouth, that is the crown jewel of any dining experience and Six Thirteen’s offerings did not disappoint.

Today, fifty years and six million (!) people later, Israel is truly a different world.

There will always be items that don’t freeze well – salads and some rice- or potato-based dishes – so you need to leave time to prepare or cook them closer to Yom Tov and ensure there is enough room in the refrigerator to store them.

In Uzbekistan, in the early twentieth century, it was the women who wore the pants.

This is an important one in raising a mentsch (and maybe even in marrying off a mentsch! listening skills are on the top of the list when I do shidduch coaching).

While multitasking is not ideal, it is often necessary and unavoidable.

More Articles from Mordechai Schmutter
Schmutter-logo-NEW

Maybe now that your kids are back in school, you should start cleaning for Pesach.

Schmutter-080814-Socks

If I’m going on for oven mitts, I don’t want to see sock puppets until at least page 40.

Alternatively, you can try your absolute hardest to listen whenever she says anything.

Father’s Day comes every year. How many drills can you get him?

This week, I’m asking the questions for a change.

Pesach is so liberating (if you excuse the expression). It’s the only time I can eat anywhere in the house, guilt free! Matzah in bed!

Purim around here is crazy. And I’m not just talking about the amount of questions I get.

Dear Mordechai,

Someone gave me a gift that I don’t like. But I don’t want to hurt his feelings. What should I do?

You Shouldn’t Have

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/potpourri/lifetime-guarantee/2012/04/16/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: