web analytics
August 21, 2014 / 25 Av, 5774
Israel at War: Operation Protective Edge
 
 
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat (L) visits the JewishPress.com booth at The Event. And the Winners of the JewishPress.com Raffle Are…

Congratulations to all the winners of the JewishPress.com raffle at The Event



Lifetime Guarantee

Schmutter-041312

Otherwise, you can take it to Home Depot, and have them cut it in half, if you can find someone to help you over there.  If you can’t, just find the “garbage can” aisle and leave it there.

But no, it’s not easy to get rid of it.  That’s what they mean when they say “Lifetime guarantee.”

 

Dear Mordechai,

            At what point can my wife and I tell people that we’re expecting?

R.Z., Riverdale

Dear R.,

WE are not expecting.  Your wife is the one who’s expecting.  So really, it’s her news and her decision.  Sure, you have more responsibilities now, but that does not in any way equate with what your wife is doing.

But by all means, your newfound responsibilities are your news to share.

“I’ve been carrying the laundry basket up and down the stairs lately,” you can casually remark to the guys at shul.  (AT shul, not DURING shul.)  “Also, I’ve been scrubbing behind the toilet.  And I found my old undershirt.”

Mazel tov!” they’ll say, about the undershirt.  The rest of it won’t faze them.  Because honestly, even if you did tell your guy friends that you and your wife are expecting, men don’t really store that kind of information.  In a few months, when you tell them that you had a baby, they’re going to frown and say, “Again?  Didn’t you just have a baby like 3 months ago?  I know you said something about a baby.”

But I definitely see why you couldn’t ask your friends this question.  It’s for that same reason that I protected your identity by only providing your initials, your city, and the fact that your wife is pregnant but you haven’t told anybody.

 

Have any questions for “You’re Asking ME?”  They should be with mazal.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Lifetime Guarantee”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Ashkelon home damaged in missile attack from Gaza on the eighth day of Operation Protective Edge, in July 2014. (archive)
Massive Rocket Barrage Blankets South
Latest Sections Stories
(L-R) Rabbis Tzvi Mandel, Akiva Stolper, Meir Borovetz, Yochanan Ivri and Shlomo Rizel. (Not shown: Rabbi Shmaya Modes.)

A CPE class at Kingsbrook Jewish Medical Center in Brooklyn was tailor made for Orthodox participants.

Lewis-081514-Anna-Ticho

“I didn’t choose the landscape; it chose me.”

Astaire-081514

Woe to us that we have to be put to death like common heathen and murderers!

The world sees the hand of God through us, and does not like it.

The Rebbetzin began campaigning to increase public awareness of the importance of saying Amen.

Some educators today believe that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder falls into an executive function category.

It’s ironic that the reality of death is often the greatest force steering the affirmation of life.

The theme of the event was “Together Let us Rebuild our Holy Beis HaMikdash on Tisha B’Av.”

Chaya Aydel Seminary has already established a close connection with France’s Jewish community.

All attendees left with fervent wishes for a swift and lasting peace in Israel.

How can awareness evolve from exploding stars?

More Articles from Mordechai Schmutter
Schmutter-080814-Socks

If I’m going on for oven mitts, I don’t want to see sock puppets until at least page 40.

Schmutter-071114-Man

Alternatively, you can try your absolute hardest to listen whenever she says anything.

Father’s Day comes every year. How many drills can you get him?

This week, I’m asking the questions for a change.

Pesach is so liberating (if you excuse the expression). It’s the only time I can eat anywhere in the house, guilt free! Matzah in bed!

Purim around here is crazy. And I’m not just talking about the amount of questions I get.

Dear Mordechai,

Someone gave me a gift that I don’t like. But I don’t want to hurt his feelings. What should I do?

You Shouldn’t Have

This week we deal with questions from people who, one way or another, are on their own. And as usual, we don’t really help them.

    Latest Poll

    Do you think the FAA ban on US flights to Israel is political?






    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/potpourri/lifetime-guarantee/2012/04/16/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: