The following was the winning entry in the Jewish Heritage Contest sponsored by Torah Atlanta
I am writing to you because I am very confused. I am going through a hard time in my life right now. Over the last few years, there have been many times that I’ve felt my world was crashing down. I’ve felt a lot of pain and distress lately. Therefore, I am asking You why have You done this? What did I do to deserve some of the things that occur in my life? I was a good child. I never told lies and loved to help others. I don’t understand why things happen the way they do? No matter how much I cry, weep, beg, and plead, You still don’t answer me. I’ve been told everything happens for a good reason, and it’s all part of a greater plan, yet I still can’t seem to understand. Why me?
Every time I hear the news, it’s nothing but sadness, mostly about the Jews. There are wars and anti-Semitism galore. Bombs, murder, and much more add to the list of tragedies that happen daily. Yes, they happen to everyone; however, due to the humongous amount of anti-Semitism today, a lot of the tragedies happen to the Jews. I ask myself what we are doing wrong and yes, everyone has their flaws, but why are we punished so severely? Some people compare our relationship with You to one of a parent and child. However, this doesn’t make sense to me because parents comfort their children and help them when they are down. Do you do that for me? Well…actually You do.
Therefore, as I think of my problems and feel sorry for myself, I decide to think of something else. I think of all that You give to us each and every day. You comfort us when we have feelings of dismay. You give us blessings without our imploring. You help us, and sometimes You do answer us with yes – it’s just hard to realize it when I’m caught up in my big hot mess. So, as I start to see the light, my situation doesn’t seem so bad. I don’t feel as mad, angry, and upset, but instead, I feel gratitude towards the One who knows best.
I’m sorry Hashem for being angry at You. I really appreciate the things that You do. You give me blessings upon blessings, and I’m forever grateful; I’ve now decided I’ll continue to stay faithful. I know I do not understand Your reasoning for things, but I am starting to learn to have patience because I know, after all, it could be worse.
Although I may not be a very religious Jew, I definitely still believe in You. I believe in Your miracles, Your power to save us, Your reasoning that is always for the best. I trust that You love us and are protecting us. You give us the opportunity to talk to you at any time each day and welcome us with warm open arms. You never turn us away. Thus, sometimes life is hard, I have figured that out, but somehow it becomes much easier when I turn to You. Thank you Hashem for all that You do.