In the fast-paced digital age we live in there are few things that have become immune to the rapid rise in efficiency, dating being no exception. The modern dating landscape has rapidly changed from offline to online, from long awkward phone calls to quick easy chats.
As an online dater myself, I completely understand how daunting it can be to use online dating, let alone create a dating profile. After all, trying to figure out which pictures to choose, trying to come up with that stellar bio that makes you sound cool without coming off as too full of yourself, and hoping that what you’ve included will be just enough to get your profile swiped in the right direction can all be a lot to figure out.
The world of online dating has allowed us to connect with more people, faster and easier than ever before. That said, with all our current options, you really need to understand how to use it effectively, so you can attract those quality matches and transition them into that all important first date!
If online dating is one of the outlets you use to meet people I suggest avoiding these 10 common mistakes.
- Having That Classic Opening Message
You have this great profile, you’re getting some fantastic matches, now its time to seal the deal with amazing conversation, but you have absolutely no idea what to say. It happens to everyone and can be the make or break point for a lot of matches. The worst thing you can do is open with something really generic like “Hey. How was your weekend”, or my personal favorite “Happy (insert day of the week”). You’re much better off opening with something that has a path to a real conversation and helps you stand out.
- Not Having Any Information
Most profiles don’t have a bio or any real information for that matter and it can be an instant turn off. When someone clicks on your profile, he or she is hoping to learn more about you. Having a great bio and providing a lot of information can go along way in helping that person decide whether or not to reach out. Be sure to include information that tells someone great things about you.
- Having Pictures With Friends
I know I know, you really like that picture of you with your two friends, you look really good and it shows you have great social skills cause, come on, look at how many friends you have. When someone clicks on your profile they’re hoping to see what you’re all about – not someone else. You also don’t want to be overshadowed by other people in your profile and potentially turn someone off because they might have thought your friend was cuter.
- Being Too Generic
I totally get how much you love to “hangout with your friends” or “listen to music,” but using generic terms doesn’t really say anything meaningful about you, and if you’re trying to set yourself apart from all the other profiles, try using interests that are specific to you and not to everyone else.
- Jumping The Gun Too Early
One of the many reasons why dating apps are such a helpful resource is because there is a communication element that allows people to see if there is any kind of connection that can be developed before committing to a date. Therefore when it comes to finally starting off that conversation you shouldn’t feel the need to ask them out in those first few messages. That’s definitely the end goal, but take some time before “the ask” or you miss giving them a reason to want to see you and developing a connection prior to meeting.
- Using Dated Pictures
There’s that picture of you at your friends wedding from a couple of years back and you look amazing, I mean lets be honest, it’s the profile picture you use for everything – it’s just not how you look today. The last thing you want to do is to be misleading and make someone think you look different than you currently do, and you definitely don’t want to give someone false information. You may look better in those older pictures, but they will see you in person. Keep your profile up to date as time goes on.
- Having An Overwhelming Amount Of Information
We live in a fast paced world and since people are constantly looking at profile after profile you don’t want to overwhelm anyone with paragraphs of information. Your profile shouldn’t be an overview of your entire life, rather just a snapshot into the parts that matter. You don’t need a lengthy bio to tell someone what they need to know about you, so when deciding what to add make sure it’s short and to the point.
- Messaging Someone Repeatedly
You just got a great match and sent that stellar first message, you check your phone eighty-two times in the span of six minutes but still no reply, your first thought is, “well maybe one more message can’t hurt,” and then you send one more, and another, and another, etc. If someone doesn’t answer your first message you should definitely feel comfortable following up one more time, but don’t bombard with follow ups because it’s totally possible they just didn’t see your message or just didn’t have time to get to it right away. Seeing a “hey” message twelve times is not going to get them to respond any faster.
- No Social Media Footprint
Online dating can sometimes feel scary and uncomfortable since your matching and talking to complete strangers. It’s really important to put those fears at ease and provide them with some social media evidence like an easily accessible Facebook profile or Instagram page that can back up the claim that you’re really as normal as your pictures show and leave little doubt to you possibly being a serial killer.
- The Humblebrag
Everyone loves to talk about themselves and it’s really hard not to want to share those interesting parts of your life with other people, especially the people you are interested in. But there is definitely a fine line between fun facts and forced conversation. Share the important things and the really cool ones.