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September 30, 2016 / 27 Elul, 5776

Posts Tagged ‘LIFE’

Life Chronicles

Monday, September 5th, 2016

Dear Mrs. Bluth,

What I’m about to share with you has been eating away at me for over five months and I have no one to talk to. I feel so ashamed and violated.  You see, when I got married ten months ago, my husband and I moved to another country so that he could complete his studies in Neurosurgery. We left behind our family and friends and started married life in a remote town on the outskirts of a major city and near the hospital where he was accepted as a resident.  Needless to say, there was very little in the way of company or friendship, outside of the one other Jewish couple, a young rabbi and his wife who ran the Chabad in a neighboring town. There were a few other Jewish doctors and residents in the same hospital as my husband, but none lived in close enough proximity for us to form friendships or develop a social contact.  We were very much isolated but determined to see the two-year program through so that we could return to the United States for my husband to seek employment.  I managed to get a secretarial job in an American company, which helped occupy my time, and I was happy being in an environment where English was spoken.

Five months ago, I began feeling dizzy and nauseous, but didn’t tell my husband because he was under a great deal of stress and I didn’t want to worry him.  One day at work, I passed out and was rushed to the hospital where my husband worked. He was waiting for me in the emergency bay, but could not stay with me too long. I was left alone until a young doctor came in to examine me and take a series of tests.  When all was completed, my husband returned just in time to get the news that we were expecting and that all was well.  I was given the name of the hospital’s chief obstetrician, whom I was told to see in the ensuing weeks. Needless to say, we were overjoyed and excited about the turn of events and my husband was thrilled that the chief of obstetrics and gynecology would personally oversee my case.

On the day of my appointment, my husband could not leave work to be with me, so I set out alone to see Doctor S. As I sat in the waiting room, I overheard a whispered conversation between two other women, patients I assumed, who seemed agitated and nervous.  They spoke in their native tongue, so I didn’t understand what they were saying but it appeared that the younger one was the daughter of the older woman and she was pleading and crying with the mother about something, trying to get her to leave. I tried to look through a magazine to take my mind off the goings on, but when the receptionist/nurse called them in, the mother had to almost drag her daughter out of the chair and into the inner office.  The door closed and I was left with a very strange feeling. Ten minutes later, another nurse came to escort me into an examining room where I answered a litany of questions, had blood drawn and completed other preliminary paperwork before seeing the doctor.  There was another wait and finally, a knock on the door and the doctor entered.

Dr. S. was not at all what I expected.  Gruff and curt to the point of rudeness, he cut me off as I started to ask a question and dismissed the attending nurse from the room.  That’s when I began to worry.  Being young and naive and not knowing what to expect, what came next horrified and repulsed me to the point of catatonia, and I froze with terror as he did things to me that I know were cruel and evil, not to mention the pain and degradation I was subjected to. I don’t remember how I got through it, but after he left the room and the nurse came in, she held me as I wept and tried to stand on rubbery legs.  I threw up in the street and could barely make it to the train station and home.  That night I knew that I had lost the baby.

My husband was devastated when he came home and I told him I had miscarried.  I never told him why. We wept together, he because he so wanted a child and because he saw my suffering, and I, because I was still reeling from the shock and the pain of what I had gone through, unable to come to grips with it.  What made it a thousand times worse is that Dr. S, after hearing from my husband that I had miscarried, told him that we were young and that first babies sometimes don’t make it and told my husband that I was to come in and see him to make sure I don’t need a D&C.  I told my husband I would not go back to him, but would seek out a woman doctor for the exam.  Sadly, life has not been the same. I have trouble being with my husband and I am engulfed in a world of sadness.  I go through the motion of daily living but I am dead on the inside.  I am suffering, my husband is suffering and our marriage is suffering.

 

 

Dear Friend,

My heart breaks for you. Young, newly married, in a strange land amongst strangers, with no one to turn to for advice or counsel, no one who could have gone with you, educated you on what to expect and forewarn you that this beast, masquerading as a healer, was an abuser, a brutal violator of women of the worst sort.

I know this does little to give you comfort or lift the heavy black shroud that encases you, however, understand this – there was nothing you could have done in your state of shock, to stop the assault.  Fear and paralysis made you a prisoner and a victim, unable to defend yourself.  As for your aborted pregnancy, there may be a host of reasons why you miscarried, and while its possible most of them point to the brutal exam, it may also be that the fetus was not viable and would have aborted of its own accord.  You said that you have gone to another doctor, a woman, to check you out after you miscarried.  I would like to know what her finding were, as she would have been able to tell if you suffered trauma, abrasions and/or lacerations internally that were suspicious and uncharacteristic with a normal pre-natal exam.

Rachel Bluth

Beyond The Classroom: Life Skills

Monday, September 5th, 2016

“A child educated only at school is an uneducated child”
George Santayana, Professor of Philosophy at Harvard University.

 

Writing over one hundred years ago from the exalted position of professor at one of the most prestigious universities in the United States, George Santayana expressed a statement that is extremely in vogue today. School is extremely important, but so is the learning children do outside of it. In her new book, Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs, Ellen Galinksy writes, “It is clear that there is information children need to learn – facts, figures, concepts, insights, and understandings. But we have neglected something that is equally essential – children need life skills.”

What are these life skills? Why does your child need these life skills? How can you they gain and practice these life skills?

I’ve written about Executive Function Disorder (EFD) in the past, and Galinsky actually pinpoints these life skills as being within the range of executive functions. What do I mean by executive function? In their book, Executive Skills in Children and Adolescents, Peg Dawson and Richard Guare explain:

“Executive skills allow us to organize our behavior over time and override immediate demands in favor of longer-term goals. Through the use of these skills we can plan and organize activities, sustain attention, and persist to complete a task. Executive skills enable us to manage our emotions and monitor our thoughts in order to work more efficiently and effectively. Simply stated, these skills help us to regulate our behavior.”

 

Among the individual skills that allow people to self-regulate are:

            Planning: The ability to create a roadmap to reach a goal. This also includes the ability to focus only on what is important.

            Organization: The ability to keep track of multiple sets of information and materials.

            Time management: The ability to understand how much time one has, and to figure out how to divide it in order to meet a goal.

            Working memory: The ability to hold information in mind even while performing other tasks.

            Metacognition: The ability to self-monitor and recognize when you are doing something poorly or well.

            Response inhibition: The ability to think before you speak or act.

            Sustained attention: The ability to attend to a situation or task in spite of distraction, fatigue or boredom.

Galinksy further elucidates that executive functions effectively pull together our feelings and thinking so that we can reflect, analyze, plan, and evaluate. All of these functions are performed by the prefrontal cortex of the brain – an area devoted to higher level thinking and problem solving.

 

The Seven Essential Life Skills

            Focus and self-control. This life skill allows you to focus on the “right” information in a world full of distractions. It also helps you to curb impulsive behavior and control yourself.

Tips for parents: Parents of younger children can play games that require children to pay attention to rules and follow directions such as “Red Light, Green Light” and “Simon Says.” Parents of older children should encourage their children to pursue their passions. The more motivated they are, they more they will pay attention to what they are learning.

            Perspective taking. This skill involves figuring out what others think and feel, and creates a foundation for children to understand other people’s intentions. When children understand other people’s perspectives, they are less likely to be involved in fights and conflicts.

Tips for parents: Parents of younger children can help a child understand that he or she is “heard” by imitating the sounds infants make, repeating words toddlers make, or helping children express themselves. Parents of older children can help them understand the actions of others by discussing their motivations. They can also use fights as an opportunity to discuss the two sides of a story.

            Communicating. Once you are able to understand other people’s perspectives, the skill of communicating involves understanding how your communication is going to be understood by others.

Tips for parents: Ask questions that go beyond the “here and now,” such as, “If you do that, what do you think will happen next?” You can also read with children in ways that use books as a platform for conversations. Ask questions about the reasons characters acted or what they think the characters are going to do on the next page.

Making connections. This skill requires putting information into different categories and understanding what is the same and what is different. The ability to make unusual connections is the heart of creativity.

Tips for parents: Parents of younger children can play matching games which will help with making connections. Parents of older children can talk about math when in the supermarket or famous artists when drawing at home.

Critical thinking. When we think critically, we think about “what causes what” to happen. Galinsky explains that it is the “ongoing search for valid and reliable knowledge to guide beliefs, decisions, and actions.”

Tips for parents: Help children think critically by allowing them to resolve issues on their own without jumping in too quickly. Help them learn the resources available to them to learn and check facts on their own.

            Taking on challenges. Since the world we live in involves challenges, children who are willing to proactively take on a challenge will do better in school and in life. This skill also involves resilience in the face of adversity.

Tips for parents: Praise your child’s efforts (not their successes). Children will be more likely to try new, hard things if they know that is a virtue in and of itself. Get support for yourself as a parent. If you aren’t able to face challenges, you won’t be able to teach your child to face them.

Self-directed, engaged learning. This skill involves continued engagement in learning and knowledge.

Tips for parents: Provide first-hand learning experiences. Continue learning yourself as a model for your children. Create a community of learners with those around you.

Rifka Schonfeld

Life: The School Of Growth

Thursday, September 1st, 2016

See, I have placed in front of you today a blessing and a curse. The blessing: if you will listen to all of the mitzvahs of Hashem your G-d as I have commanded you today…” – Devarim 11:21

 

In these verses the Torah sets out two divergent paths. One leads to ultimate success and blessing, the other to devastation and curses.

If you follow in the ways of Hashem, you will be richly rewarded. You will look back at your years of sacrifice with enormous joy and satisfaction, saying to yourself, “Whatever price I paid was so worth it. I am now being compensated beyond anything I could have imagined.”

On the other hand, if you don’t follow the Torah’s ways, there will come a time when you will deeply regret your mistake and you will look back and say, “How could I have been so foolish? How could I have chosen so poorly?”

The Daas Zakainim brings light to this concept with a mashol. He says it is comparable to a crossroads. One road begins as a difficult thorny trail, then it opens up and the rest of the way is clear. The other path begins as a smooth passageway but ends in a thicket of thorns. An old man sits at the crossroads and warns the passersby, “Be careful. This road begins smoothly, but ends up all thorns. Rather choose the other road. Even though it begins as a difficult path, it opens up and will carry you well.” Anyone who listens to the man will work at the outset of his journey but will travel in peace the rest of the way, whereas anyone who ignores the advice of the old man will get caught in the thorns for rest of his passage.

The Daas Zakainim explains this is what the Torah is telling us. If a man sins and follows his inclinations, he will find comfort in this world – but when he dies, he will go to a place that is all thorns. However, if one works in this world and labors in Torah study and mitzvahs, he will merit the World to Come – which is all goodness, joy, and happiness.

This Daas Zakainim is difficult to understand because the meanings of the verses seem self-evident – serve Hashem and you will receive blessing; violate the mitzvahs and you will be cursed. It doesn’t seem he is adding much to our understanding with this mashol. If the point is that punishment and reward aren’t in this world but rather in the next, that concept doesn’t need a parable. What point is the Daas Zakainim trying to bring home to us?

Progressive Weight Training

A yeshivishe fellow went to a power-lifting gym to learn how to work out. As a kid, he had little experience with sports and was clearly out of his element. Recognizing this, the coach showed him various exercises and worked closely with him. One day, this fellow was overheard saying, “That coach, I don’t know what’s with him. Every time I get the exercise right, he goes and adds more weight to the bar. What’s wrong with him?”

The point this fellow missed was that progressive weight training is all about increasing the load. By gradually increasing the workload, the body is called upon to respond. The work should never be easy. The nature of the activity is to incrementally increase the demand placed on the body, thereby causing it to grow.

This is a good parable because in life we are put into many situations. If a person doesn’t understand why he is on this planet, he will have many questions. Why is life so difficult? Why is it that when I finally get things under control, a whole new set of circumstances arises that sets everything out of kilter? Why can’t life just be easy?

The point he is missing is the very purpose of life. Hashem put us on this planet to grow. Many of the challenges and situations are given to us specifically for that reason. It isn’t by accident, and it isn’t because Hashem doesn’t pay attention. Quite the opposite – these situations were hand-designed to demand from us. They are catalysts to change who we are.

In weight training, the movement of the bar isn’t the significant part; the demand on the body is. So too in life, the situations I face are far less significant than my reactions to them. Who I become is a result of my attitude and the way I handle my challenges.

When a person understands this perspective, life itself makes sense. If not, the situations in life seem arbitrary and unfair.

The answer to the Daas Zakainim seems to be that this mashol defines our path in life. The road we are being asked to take isn’t easy. It isn’t laden with roses and doesn’t smell like lilacs. It has thorns. A life properly led will have moments of doubt, pain, and confusion. That doesn’t mean we are on the wrong path. If life is going too smoothly, it’s a bad sign. Since the purpose of life is to grow, we need the challenges of life to help us reach our potential. If the road is too level, that is likely a sign we have chosen the wrong path.

Hashem wants us to enjoy our stay on this planet, but there is a plan and a purpose to it all. If a person lives his life in accordance with the Torah, he finds deep satisfaction, an inner sense of peace and tranquility, and true simcha. But it isn’t a walk in the park. There is much work along the way. There are trials, travails, and circumstances that demand growth. If a person responds appropriately, he finds a sense of inner peace because he is in sync with his purpose in life.

That sense of balance is an indicator that he is on the right path, and the work he puts in on that path will bring him to true joy, happiness, and elation in this world, and much more so in the World to Come.

Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

Life Chronicles

Monday, August 29th, 2016

Dear Mrs. Bluth,

I am in a terrible dilemma and am reaching out to you for help. I am about to get engaged to a wonderful man, who like myself, is Jewish, or at least, so I thought. It was only three weeks ago that I learned I had been adopted at birth and, once over the shock of this revelation, I wanted to see if I could track down my birth mother and father. I was able to find the hospital where I was born and my birth certificate, which is when I received my second shock – my biological mother’s name is McMahon and in the box marked “Religion” appears the word “Catholic”! All my life, I recall going to Temple on Yom Kippur, attending both Chanukah and Christmas parties thrown by family and friends and going to Israel with my parents for my sixteenth birthday. That makes me Jewish doesn’t it? The fact that both my parents are Jewish and my grandfathers both are Jewish, doesn’t that count?

I’ve tried to look up my birth father, whose name is Levy, that’s a Jewish name, isn’t it? But there are so many people with that name it would take me forever to find him, if at all, and it’s time I don’t have. I feel like the hourglass is almost out of sand and I’m terrified I’ll lose my boyfriend, something I don’t think I can live through. Suddenly I don’t know who I am anymore and if I’m not Jewish, than what am I? Am I an imposter if I just choose to continue as if nothing has changed? Would my fiancé hate me if I never enlightened him about my birth certificate or the new and startling information it contains?

Mrs. Bluth can it be that I’m Catholic too? Will it matter to my boyfriend as we are both non-observant? I have asked a Conservative friend of mine and he says that I absolutely cannot tell my soon-to-be fiancé as he may not want to marry me. I am terrified this will end badly and I am going crazy, not knowing what to do. I don’t want to go into a marriage with a lie or withholding the truth. Please let me know what you think, I’ll do whatever you say!

 

Dear Friend,

My heart goes out to you for your pain and shock at this discovery at such an emotional time and more so for the sad truth I have to impart. If your birth mother is Jewish you are Jewish and can happily marry any Jewish young man you choose, even a non-observant one. However, if your birth mother is of any other faith, Jewish law dictates that you are of that same faith and you and any children you have will not be Jewish unless you covert. That is what you need to discover: did your adopted parents have you converted when you were adopted? Even if not, you can contact a reputable rabbi and undergo the process of conversion yourself. It is not a simple process and there is much to learn and study. Once you are living in accordance with all that you have taken upon yourself to accept, you are then required to undergo a ritual involving immersion in a ritual bath where you verbally renounce your previous faith and promise to take upon yourself all the commandments, laws and rituals of Hashem’s Torah without forfeiture.

While it will be incredibly hard, you must be straight-forward with your young man and tell him the truth. Even if he should say that it doesn’t matter to him, be true to your conscience and walk away. The one ray of light still remaining in this dark chapter is if you are willing to undertake the long, intense journey into Judaism and if he will be willing to wait for you to complete it.

Rachel Bluth

Earning A Living: The Great Life Test

Thursday, August 25th, 2016

“Who feeds you manna in the wilderness, which your forefathers knew not, in order to afflict you and in order to test you to do good for you in the end?” – Devarim 8:16

 

For forty years living in the midbar, the Jewish people ate mon. The Torah explains that one of the reasons the mon was given to the Klal Yisrael was in order to test them. The Sforno explains the test: “Will you do His will when He gives you your sustenance easily without pain?”

It seems the Sforno is telling us that the fact that the Jewish nation didn’t have to work was one of the great trials it faced.

This Sforno is very difficult to understand. We know that Hashem metes out many life tests. But where have we seen that not having to struggle is a challenge?

This question can be answered by focusing on why Hashem wants man to work. The ox was created to plow, the donkey to haul loads, the beaver to dam streams. But, man was created for a very different purpose. Man was not created to be a beast of burden. So, why does Hashem want man to work for a living?

One of the reasons can be best understood with a mashol. Imagine that a man recognizes his eight-year-old son has difficulty getting along with his peers. The little boy is constantly getting into fights, and in general seems to miss social cues. The school psychologist tells the father his son has social integration issues. He just doesn’t understand the rules of social conduct.

The father takes it on himself to help his little Moishe become a mensch. As part of the plan, he takes time off from work and invites Moishe and his friends to a play date. They are on the floor playing Monopoly when an ambulance passes outside, siren blasting. As the boys look to the window, the father notices Moishe reach into the “bank” and take out a five-hundred-dollar bill. The father doesn’t say anything. A few moments later, the doorbell rings. Again, all the boys look up, and Moishe reaches into the box and takes out two thousand dollars. When this happens again a few moments later, the father asks Moishe to join him in the kitchen.

“Moishe,” says the father, “I couldn’t help but notice that some of the money that belongs in the bank somehow ended up in your pocket. Can you explain this to me?”

“Sure,” Moishe answers. “Last night I heard you and mommy talking about how you need a lot of money. So here, I took this for you!”

While the sincerity of the little fellow might be touching, he is missing the point. The only reason the father was involved in this activity was to teach him how to be a mensch. The father doesn’t need the money, and certainly isn’t taking time off of his busy day to earn Monopoly money. But Moishe in his naiveté missed the entire point of the exercise.

This is an apt mashol to man working. Hashem doesn’t need man to work to earn a living. Hashem has lots of money. Hashem created the situation that man has to work to earn his daily bread. Now man is dependent. Now man can go through one of the greatest of life’s tests: how will he go about this activity called earning a living? Will he be honest? Will he be ethical? When he has difficulty in earning a living, will he learn to trust in Hashem, or will he make that ultimate mistake – thinking it is the sweat of his brow and the strength of his hand that earns him his bread?

Man Needs Needs

This seems to be the answer to the Sforno. The generation of the midbar was on a lofty level. They had received the Torah from Hashem and were living in a virtual yeshiva. While the mon took care of their daily needs, it was also as a great social experiment: would they attain the same closeness to Hashem without having to earn a living? Would they still reach out to Hashem if they didn’t lack for anything? Would they still come to recognize their dependence on Hashem if they didn’t need to struggle to survive? The mon was a test to see if they could reach greatness without the normal life settings – without needs.

Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

Dancing with Life

Thursday, August 25th, 2016

{Originally posted to Rabbi Weinberg’s website, The Foundation Stone}

The desires of the heart are as crooked as corkscrews
Not to be born is the best for man
The second best is a formal order
The dance’s pattern, dance while you can.
Dance, dance, for the figure is easy
The tune is catching and will not stop
Dance till the stars come down with the rafters
Dance, dance, dance till you drop.
W.H. Auden, “Death’s Echo”

Just more than a week ago I was sitting in mourning. I emerged from my mourning and wandered in a daze until Isaiah spoke to me on Shabbat and offered words of consolation. Today, I am back to life as it is, with its joys and challenges.

How could I possibly handle all these different emotions on top of the complexities of life?

I dance with them.There are times I dance in formal steps and patterns, according to the rules. Some dances demand the formality, especially when sharing the floor with other dancers. However, the dance from mourning to comfort to joy to comfort to life, and then, to who knows what next, is far more complicated than the Tango or Salsa. It is, for me, a free-form dance to express the different emotions, but even more so, how I experience the chaotic fluctuations from one emotion to another. I do not dance to the formal steps but to how my inner music plays out its response to life’s calendar and challenges.

People often express wonder how I can teach in a very “religious” neighborhood one day, and a completely secular community the next. They assume that I am simply dancing a different tune on different days and in different communities. They are wrong! I do not dance a different step to the very different tunes of extremely different communities. Nor do I dance different steps to different holidays and commandments; a slow dance on Tisha B’Av, say, and a joyous step six days later on Tu B’Av. It is all one dance; the Dance of Life, the dance that expresses my response to life. There are no formal steps to my dance other than being in touch with how I feel and what I want to express at any given moment. The dance is an expression of my joy in life, and my small response to its many realities and revelations.

This week’s portion, Eikev, or “Heel,” begins, “This shall be the reward when (Eikev – Heel) you hear these laws and perform them.” Why the heel? Dance Steps. The Dance of Life. “This will be the reward when you dance to these laws and express how they affect you,” is how I interpet the verse.

The key word in this weeks portion is “Hear.” it is a challenge to listen to the music of life, the song of the Torah as it guides us through life. The portion reminds us of the importance of expressing how our ‘heels’ respond in the Dance of Life to our experiences on every level.

This portion also stresses the importance of love, as if to say, “Above all, let your love envelope you in your dance: God’s love for you, your love of God, your love of family, your love of self.”

Remember: Love is the greatest adventure of them all, and our Dance of Life should reflect that.

When and if it does, our Dance of Life becomes not only a thing of enjoyment, but a thing of beauty.

Dance with me to: Chipping Away The Pieces, help me dance my way out of Stuck in a Role and The Fear Underneath, so I can nurture The Question Machine.

Shall we dance?

Shabbat Shalom (The Dance of Life is permitted and encouraged on Shabbat!)

Rabbi Simcha Weinberg

Life Chronicles

Monday, August 22nd, 2016

Dear Mrs. Bluth,

Many years ago, my then twelve-year-old daughter asked me to open a bank account in trust for her, wherein I deposited her bas mitzvah money and all the monies she made from babysitting, and being a counselor in camp. During the ensuing years she accumulated a few thousand dollars, having never asked me to withdraw any money. When she graduated high school and got a job she continued to hand over the bulk of her paychecks for me to deposit in her account, which still remained in trust for her.

Sometime during those years, my husband lost his job and my salary was not nearly enough to cover our household needs. Even with help from my own, elderly parents, I had great difficulty covering expenses and I “borrowed” from my daughter’s bank account on a number of occasions, always promising in my heart to return the amount just as soon as our financial situation improves. The guilt I felt for taking the small sums was always quieted by this mental promise. But the borrowing became more frequent and the sums larger as my older son got engaged and the cost of the engagement and wedding were overwhelming.

Without thought as to how much I was already indebted to my daughter’s account, I regularly withdrew monies to cover the costs. And after the wedding and sheva brochos, there was soon nothing left in the account. My daughter trusted me and never doubted that I was looking out for her welfare, so she never asked to see her bank statements. She had no idea that her hard-earned money was gone.

My daughter came home from a shidduch date and told us she had met her bashert. We were overjoyed to meet our soon to be son-in-law, who turned out to be a wonderful young man with a bright future and a wonderful family. As we began to plan the wedding, my daughter asked to have access to her bank account so she could withdraw $10,000 for her gown and deposits. She was determined, she said, not to be a burden to us.

I had no choice but to expose the terrible thing I had done and tell her that there was no money left. It broke my heart to see the crestfallen look of disbelief in her eyes as I tearfully begged her forgiveness. Though she told me not to worry and assured me that she would take out loans and repay them, the trust between us was broken and the closeness we shared gone. I had hoped that once she was married and time passed, things between us would return to the way they used to be however, it is a year since the wedding and the distance between us is greater than ever.

I miss my daughter so much and wish I could turn back time without repeating my mistake. What can I do to make amends and show her that I am truly sorry for what I did? How can I regain her trust and respect?

 

 

Dear Friend,

Trust, once broken, is an arduous endeavor to regain — but not impossible. What you did is reprehensible to say the least, but your daughter seems to me to be a sensible young woman, who showed her kibbud av v’aim by not losing her temper when you divulged your secret. She even went so far as to assume loans to cover her wedding so as not to have to burden you and your husband. But understandably, trust fell to the wayside.

Love, if it was strong and close with the two of you before, should have created a solid foundation upon which to reconnect and rebuild the trust that was tested. Call your daughter and sit down over coffee and explain what caused you to begin “borrowing” against her savings…. with the honest intention for paying it back. Tell her how sorry you are that this caused such a distance between you and how much you miss her and the way things used to be. I think you have a good chance of making her see how sincerely you want to have things back the way they used to be and I have a strong feeling she wants that too.

Rachel Bluth

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/life-chronicles/life-chronicles-82/2016/08/22/

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