Mishnitz, Myszyniec
Recently I received a letter with an inquiry about the town of Mishnitz.
Relics and Restoration
As of December 4, 2006, an exhibition recapitulating the international project, "Do Not be Afraid to Know Me" is being presented in the Opole town hall.
Cemetery Restoration And Preservation
Last week's conference on Jewish genealogy in New York featured many sessions dealing with the issues of tracing Jewish lineage.
Being A Well Spouse Is An Emotional Paradox
As the years go by, and your spouse gets worse, and your life gets harder, well spouses often live with emotional paradoxes.
The Krakow Bet HaChaim
During my recent trip to Poland I visited many cemeteries where great tzaddikim are buried.
What Comes Around Goes Around (Part Two)
Last week I told the story of Chaya Leah, a well spouse. Chaya Leah had cared for her son's friend, Moishe, while his mother was sitting Shivah.
Oceanside, N.Y. – To Be Young Again
Youth is the key to a Jewish community. Sure, there are snowbird synagogues, but bocce ball and bingo aren't going to attract young couples.
A Response To Dr. G. (Part III)
For the last several weeks I have been sharing with you the perspectives of a doctor whose point of view made me revisit the reality of the caregiver's role. I want to thank this doctor for his candor and perspective. I believe what he wrote will help us all be more efficient in our care giving as we become more aware of the perspective and boundaries from his side of the stethoscope.
A Response To Dr. G. (Part II)
In Part I, I responded to some of what Dr. G. had said about our role as caregivers. I reiterated that without legal documentation, you, as the spouse might have little input into the treatment plan for your partner. Whether by design or oversight, not being appointed the Health Proxy may totally cut you out of the care plan and even bar you from receiving treatment information. This week, I'd like to address what Dr. G. said about what being a caregiver requires of us.
A Response To Dr. G (Part I)
Last week's column featured a letter from a very dedicated doctor who disagreed with an article I had written on dealing with the system. It was very clear from his letter that Dr. G. cared a great deal about his patients and their care.
We Are Invisible: Asking For Help
As I entered the store, a woman with a baby carriage approached. I held the door open to allow her to go in with ease. Just as I was about to follow, I noticed a man with a stroller coming to the door. I held it open for him as well. He looked surprised, but thanked me and he too entered the store. As I followed him in, I found myself in a line behind the two strollers, going nowhere. It seemed there was a second door to go through and a woman who was trying to open the door and push a wheelchair through it was blocking everyone. Each time she got the door open and went back to push the wheelchair, the door closed on the chair leaving it stuck in the doorway.
A Gift For A Well Spouse
A well spouse often has so many roles and responsibilities that even those closest to her don't always see them all.
Shidduchim And The Former Well Spouse
When one loses a spouse, it sometimes does not take very long for people to play matchmaker. "Only a stone should be alone." Is a phrase often bandied about as widowed well spouses are encouraged to start dating again. Many in this situation relish their time to themselves, which has been an elusive dream for so long and are not ready to start the process. Some however, would like to remarry, and helpful friends begin to look for a shidduch for them.
A Letter To Seek Help For A Friend’s Mother, Coping With A Disabled Husband
Dear Ms. Novick,
I have been reading your column in The Jewish Press for quite a while and enjoy it very much. It has been very helpful. For many years, my mother, a"h, lived with us while she was going blind from glaucoma and becoming demented from Alzheimer's. G-d bless my wonderful husband and family for helping to love and care for her. She was nifteres last month.
When What You Can Do Changes (Part IV)
Over the last three weeks I have written about caregivers needing to accept their limitations and make changes accordingly.
13th Ave., Brooklyn
Question: How do you rate Michael Bloomberg's performance as mayor of New York?
Overeating And The Well Spouse (Part One)
"You have such a pretty face. If only you could do something about your weight."
Letting Our Adult Children Be Adults
As parents, it is our job to help our children develop and grow into adulthood in small steps.
Evelyn’s Story
Last week I relayed Evelyn's story. She is a well spouse who was making a simcha.
Ateret Avot Adult Living Facility, Brooklyn
Question: Which 20th century leader did you admire most?
Dealing With Toxic Relatives And Toxic People: Who Are They? (Part Two)
Last week I shared two letters from well spouses who are dealing with "machitanim" (the parents of your son or daughter in law) who appear to be toxic personalities.
Remembering A Dear Friend: Rebbetzin Irene Klass, a”h
What is it about a diamond that makes it the most valuable gemstone known to man?
Helping a Family Avoid Divorce
In February of this year I interviewed and wrote the stories of well spouses who chose divorce as their means of coping with their spouses chronic illness.
When a Parent Moves In: The Emotional Part
I received a letter from a distraught mother and her daughter. After all the children were married, the mother took her elderly parent in to live with them.
Why Do They Stay?
Last week I tried to give some insight into the real existence of a well spouse.
You Are Your Child’s Best Advocate
When you have a child with special needs, whether it be medical or developmental, you are very familiar with signing those lengthy privacy practice information sheets. At some point we don't even bother reading them because we know that once you have a child with special needs, nothing is ever private. Every professional has an opinion. Still, the ultimate decision is up to you.
Death Of A Spouse: Part Two – Preparing
Many well spouses are alone even though they are married. Their partners often cannot participate in the things they loved to do.
Yeshiva Derech HaTorah, Brooklyn
Question: What's your favorite Jewish holiday?
Self Affirmations (Part Two)
Last week I wrote about self talk and how negative self talk can affect your whole outlook on life and give you a negative spin on how you see yourself.
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words (Part 3)
As I continue to share the cartoons from a well spouse group I interviewed, I'd like to share one that illustrates a common bone of contention to well spouses and their partners.