Two Kinds of Jews: Ashamed and Proud
Sunday, April 14th, 2013I write this in memory of my father, Lyle B. Federman, who was killed on April 21, 1998, the victim of police misconduct.
My father grew up with little to no Jewish tradition. No Shabbat. No Passover. No Menorah. No Kosher. He spent much of his life searching for an identity. He eventually discovered and embraced his Jewish heritage at an Oglala tribal meeting on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota.
My father had no interest in Judaism. He strived for a belief system that was all-inclusive. Connected with nature. With a social justice mission. Those values were reinforced by his exposure to the countercultural and environmental movements of the late 60’s.
He found those values in the Native American way of life. His began his journey by providing aid for food and clothing on the poverty stricken Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. He also volunteered at the sobriety meetings to fight the rampant alcohol and drug abuse. Soon he started practicing Native American rituals like the sweat lodge (or ceremonial sauna) and learning the traditions and history.
Eventually he was called to a tribal meeting where he would be formally inducted into the Oglala Lakota tribe. At the meeting, the tribal elders asked my father what he had observed on the reservation.
“I observe two kind of Indians,” my father explained. “One with short hair, head down, drunk and ashamed of who he is; and one with long hair, head up, sober and proud of his people.” The elders nodded in approval.
They asked my father about his ancestry. My father explained that he was Jewish. The tribal leader paused, squinted in thought, and said: “There are two kinds of Jews. One with his head down, ashamed of who he is; and the other with his head up and proud of who he is.” He continued, “be that Jew who is proud of who he is.” That was the most transcendental moment in my father’s life.
But what does it mean to be proud of your heritage? Is that ethnocentric? Even supremacist? The Torah was given on a small mountain to teach one to be humble toward others. To recognize and value other peoples way of life. If that is so, then why wasn’t the Torah given on flatland? Wouldn’t that be an even greater metaphor of humility? It was given on a small mountain to teach that one should still have pride but that pride should be measured and humbled.
My father then traveled to Berkley California where he came in contact with Chabad-Lubavitch, a Jewish outreach organization. He started learning Jewish philosophy, observing the Holidays and eventually married an Orthodox woman – my mother, a direct descendant of the Ba’al Shem Tov, the founder of Hasidic Judaism.







Foundation for the Preservation of Jewish Heritage in Poland recently established cooperation with the “Rainbow” Association of Homeless and Unemployed People in Leczna. In spring 2009 the members of the association will continue working on cleaning and clearing the grounds of the local Jewish cemetery.
During the preservation works at the road-building site in Lowicz a number of matzevot were found. Foundation for the Preservation of Jewish Heritage in Poland took immediate steps to preserve the historical tombstones, which probably were taken from the local Jewish cemetery during the war.
On February 6, 2009, a memorial tablet was placed on the gate of the Jewish cemetery in Siedlce. Its ceremonial unveiling is scheduled for March 2009. The tablet, which commemorates the local Jewish community, was funded by both the Foundation for the Preservation of Jewish Heritage in Poland and the Jewish Religious Community in Warsaw.
Renovation work is underway in 19-year-old synagogue in Kolno. In the future the synagogue building will host a tourist center, which will serve visitors coming to this part of Poland, including numerous Jewish groups from all over the world. Foundation for the Preservation of Jewish Heritage in Poland is one of the partners of this project.
On February 1, 2009, the annual Chassidic pilgrimage to the grave of Tzaddik David Biederman took place in Lelow (Slaskie Province). Foundation for the Preservation of Jewish Heritage in Poland was cooperating with the organizers of this event.