web analytics
March 1, 2015 / 10 Adar , 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Home » Sections » Family »
COMMUNICATION

The Secret of Turning Misery into Happiness

misery and happiness

Photo Credit: Yori Yanover

It may also make things easier if you begin to communicate with your wife instead of constantly fighting about the same issues. Is it possible for both of you to agree to disagree and develop a loving relationship based on other things? Try to open the lines of communication by going back to the drawing board.

Can you and your wife make some time to have a date and talk about things that are unrelated to your differences? Can you and your wife focus on your beautiful family? Obviously there must be some major shifts in the way that you and your wife perceive and relate to each other. If the two of you are willing to make the effort to learn how to relate to each other in a different manner, both of you might be surprised to find out that you may actually enjoy each other’s company and that you want to be happy – together. Remember the saying, “kemayim panim el panim, kein lev ha’adam – people will treat you the same way that you treat them.” The lesson: If you are always looking for your wife’s faults or her differences with you, she is likely looking for the same things in you.

Instead, turn over a new leaf and compliment your wife, appreciate her good qualities, and make an effort to focus on why you should stay together rather than why you are unhappy with her.

As a Modern Orthodox Jew, you appear to follow halacha but are upset by other issues. I am not certain, though, that this is true. Perhaps those other issues reflect other inner issues that are making you miserable. If this is so, please seek guidance from a competent rav or frum therapist. One or both of them will hopefully help you get through this trying time.

Remember that your wife is different than your mother and that just because she dresses like your mother or has some of the same views regarding Yiddishkeit, it does not mean that your wife has the same personality or outlook on life. It is possible that you are associating your feelings about your wife with all of your negative feelings about your mother. This can be very destructive in a marriage because things that may be innocent or miniscule may become vital in your mind due to this association.

Your wife does not appear to be like your mother in both personality and middos; thus it would be prudent to start focusing on all of your wife’s good qualities. If you do so, maybe your wife will feel loved and appreciated – and respond in kind. And you might be able to reshape your interactions, making them positive, loving exchanges. This will have a great impact on the way you feel.

Hashem sometimes sends us gifts that we just don’t appreciate. Hatzlachah!

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “The Secret of Turning Misery into Happiness”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and his wife at Ben Gurion Airport as they depart for the US on March 1, 2015, ahead of Netanyahu's speech on Tuesday, before a joint session of Congress.
Netanyahu’s Speech to Congress – Blocked from U.S. Prime Time, Perfect for Israel
Latest Sections Stories
Golan Wine Medals

‘Double Gold’ awarded to 2012 Yarden Heights wine & 2011 Yarden Merlot Kela Single Vineyard.

Niehaus-022715

One should not give the money before Purim morning or after sunset.

Mendlowitz-022715-Basket

The mishloach manos of times gone by were sometimes simple and sometimes elaborate, but the main focus was on the preparation of the delicious food they contained.

Astaire-022715-Countryside

One of the earliest special Purims we have on record was celebrated by the Jews of Granada and Shmuel HaNagid, the eleventh-century rav, poet, soldier and statesman, and one of the most influential Jews in Muslim Spain.

Jews, wake up! Stop educating the world and start educating yourselves.

The lessons conform to the sensitivities and needs of the Orthodox community…

The program took on special significance as it marked not only the first anniversary of Rebbetzin Kudan’s levayah but also the 27th yahrzeit of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson, a”h.

It captures the love of the Jewish soul as only Shlomo Hamelech could portray it – and as only Rabbi Miller could explain it.

Erudite and academic, drawing from ancient and modern sources, the book can be discussed at the Shabbos table as well as in kollel.

I’m here to sit next to you and help you through this Purim with three almost-too-easy mishloach manot ideas, all made with cost-conscious paper bags.

Kids want to be like their friends, and they want to give and get “normal” mishloach manos stocked with store-bought treats.

Whenever he did anything loving for me, I made a big deal about it.

“OMG, it’s so cute, you’re so cute, everything is so cute.”

A program that started with a handful of volunteers has grown exponentially to include students from a wider array of backgrounds.

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler
Respler-022015

Whenever he did anything loving for me, I made a big deal about it.

Respler-021315

She says that they are our children and since she brings in half, or sometimes more than half of our parnassah, we need to be full partners in their chinuch.

I surprise my wife with gifts, large and small.

They are like children keeping count of who changed how many diapers each day.

I find his mother to be a difficult person and my nature is to stay away from people like that.

Often both girls and boys compare their date to their parents.

The Moroccan wife’s chief pride is showing that she ought to win the prize for the most attentive and solicitous spouse and mother.

Both parties need to become more tolerant of one another.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/turning-misery-into-happiness/2012/09/28/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: