On Monday evening, a suspicious object was noticed on the road leading to the northern entrance of Efrat, in Gush Etzion.

Upon further investigation is was discovered that a fake bomb had been planted on the road.

Two suspects have been arrested in conjunction with an apparent assassination attempt against alleged underworld figure Nissim Halperon (Alperon).  It is the eighth attempt on life.

On Jabotinky Street and Shlomo Hamelech Boulevard, near the Azrieli Towers, a short distance from the IDF central command in Tel Aviv, a parked car exploded next to a bus at 1:00 PM on Thursday.

MDA initially called it a Mass Casualty Event, but canceled it. There were approximately 7 people reported as lightly wounded, mostly from the shock-wave.

The bomb was apparently place underneath the parked Mazda, and police initially, and correctly suspected the bombing was criminal, and not terror related.

Witnesses said that a moped was seen speeding away from the scene, and two suspects have been arrested.

The nearby bus was empty at the time.

AFP reports that French police say that a bomb exploded outside the Indonesian embassy in Paris Wednesday morning.

      Later, due to Barak’s disastrous policies as prime minister and his attempt to hand over Jerusalem to the PLO savages, a new song seemed called for. Barak had just been creamed in a landslide electoral defeat by Ariel Sharon. The new piece was to the tune of Harry Belafonte’s “Banana Boat Song.” It went:

EH HOOD, day EH EH HOOD

Ehud’s done and we wan him go home

EH, he say EH, he say EH, he say EH,

      he say EH, he say EH-ay-ay-HOOD

Ehud’s done and we wan him go home

They shoots all night from ole Ramallah

(Ehud’s done and we wan him go home)

As all night he wave white bandana

(Ehud’s done and we wan him go home)

Come, Mr. Tally Mon, tally me election

Ehud’s done and we wan him go home

Come, Mr. Tally Mon, tally the rejection

Ehud’s done and we wan him go home

      My proposed campaign song for Reb Ehud is based on the wonderful “If I Were a Rich Man” from “Fiddler on the Roof.” (Unfortunately Tevye is not running for prime minister.)

      Ready? Here goes!

Dear God, you made so many, many cowardly people.

I realize, of course, that it’s no shame to be a coward.

But it’s no great honor, either!

So, what would have been so terrible if

      I had a small dose of gumption?

(music)

 

If I were a terrorist,

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba

      deedle deedle dum.

All day long I’d biddy biddy bomb.

If I were a Hamas man.

I wouldn’t have to work hard.

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba

      deedle deedle dum.

If I were a biddy bomber bum,

Yidle-diddle-didle-didle BOMB.

 

I’d have a big tall house with virgins by the dozen,

Right in the midst of Gaza town.

A fine tin roof with real al-Kassams below.

There would be one long rocket just going up,

And one even longer coming down,

And one more leading nowhere, just for show.

I’d fill my yard with chicks and turkeys

      and other Labor chiefs,

For all the town to see and hear.

And each loud “cheep” and “squawk”

      and “honk” and “quack”

Would ring like a Kassam in my ear,

As if to say “Here lives a Tanzim man.”

     

If I were a terrorist,

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba

      deedle deedle dum.

All day long I’d biddy biddy bomb.

If I were a Hamas man.

I wouldn’t have to work hard.

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba

      deedle deedle dum.

If I were a biddy bomber bum,

Yidle-diddle-didle-didle BOMB.

 

The most important men in town

      would come to fawn on me!

They would ask me to be appeased by them,

Like Shimon Peres the Kind.

“If you please, Reb Ehud…”

“Pardon me, Reb Ehud…”

Posing problems that would cross a Tanzim’s mind!

And it won’t make one bit of difference

      if I answer war or peace.

When you’re me, they think you really know!

 

If I were a terrorist,

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba

      deedle deedle dum.

All day long I’d biddy biddy bomb.

If I were a Hamas man.

I wouldn’t have to work hard.

Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba

      deedle deedle dum.

If I were a biddy bomber bum,

Yidle-diddle-didle-didle BOMB.

 

Lord who made the lion and the lamb,

You decreed I should be what I am.

Would it spoil some vast eternal plan

If I were a ter-ror-ist MAN!!!

(Curtain closes)

      Steven Plaut, a frequent contributor to The Jewish Press, is a professor at Haifa University. His book “The Scout” is available at Amazon.com. He can be contacted at stevenplaut@yahoo.com.