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Oh, So Angry (Part III)

2 Nisan 5770 – March 17, 2010
In continuing our discussion on anger management, I would like to share some basic beliefs that one must understand in their journey to anger management (which I also referred to as personal control). As we have previously discussed, anger control is directly related to self-esteem and confidence. That is, the better the self-esteem, the more capable the person will be in controlling emotions. Also, related to this is the concept we refer to as "shame."

Controlling Your Teenager (Continued From 2/19/10 Issue)

20 Adar 5770 – March 5, 2010
The fifth pillar of the inner world is what the eminent psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl called the “Will to Meaning.” This desire for meaning implies wanting to know the whys of life and not just the hows.

Oh, So Angry (Part II)

17 Adar 5770 – March 3, 2010
In Part I of this four-part series, I introduced you to Aaron and his extreme anger. I ended that article with, "I must say that as I was describing this theory, Aaron's mouth dropped open, his eyes grew wide and tears formed in his eyes as he moved closer in his chair. The only thing he could say was, "How did you know?" With that comment, Aaron and I started a remarkable relationship. With all the counselors he had been to over the years, Aaron said that no one really understood him. Here was the angry young man who didn't want to be there, fully engaged and ready to work, ready to share his pain, ready to begin a trusting relationship."

Controlling Your Teenager

6 Adar 5770 – February 19, 2010
As children move from infancy into middle and later childhood, they have a growing need for control over their environment. To meet this need, teenagers must be given reasonable power to make choices about what they eat, whom they play with, and what extracurricular activities they participate in.

Oh, So Angry (Part I)

3 Adar 5770 – February 17, 2010
Dr. and Mrs. Schwartz came into the office looking very tired, stressed, despondent and unsure of themselves. They came without Aaron because he had refused to come to the appointment. He claimed that at 15 he could decide for himself if, and when, he would come to appointments about his life. They began by describing an extraordinarily angry young man.

Self Esteem, Individuality and Love for Teenagers

22 Shevat 5770 – February 5, 2010
We often use the expressions "good self-esteem” or "poor self-esteem” to describe people’s evaluation of their own worth. When people have good self-esteem, they tend to view life from a positive perspective, seeing their potential value. Poor or low self-esteem causes people to feel that everything they do in life is a losing battle and that they always get the short end of the stick.

The Roadmap To Your Teenager’s Inner Worlds

6 Shevat 5770 – January 20, 2010
Relating to their teenager can be easier than most parents think, especially when they learn about the key areas that can sustain the relationship: connection, control, and communication.

Childhood Resilience

28 Tevet 5770 – January 13, 2010
Why is it that one youth involved in a trauma or difficult situation seems to bounce right back with little effect on his daily functioning while another youth seems to take forever to get back to his usual self?

More Common Teenage Issues

23 Tevet 5770 – January 8, 2010
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Mark, sixteen years old, has trouble sitting still in class. His mind wanders; he's anxious and is failing many of his...

Investing In Your Relationship

9 Tevet 5770 – December 25, 2009
As many parents discover, building a good relationship with a teenager is not easy. Often teenagers are reluctant to be close to their parents, and at times they look to distance themselves as much as possible. If so, how can parents see beyond the daily power struggles of homework, keeping curfew, staying out of trouble, and succeeding in school?

Relationship Centered Parenting

26 Kislev 5770 – December 12, 2009
Building a relationship with your children is often one of the most overlooked aspects of parenting teenagers; yet clearly, as the evidence suggests, the relationship is key to managing a teenager’s at-risk behavior and restoring confidence in the family unit.

Shalom Task Force: Answering The Call Of Domestic Abuse

21 Tishri 5770 – October 9, 2009
Due to the overwhelming amount of e-mail I have received about domestic abuse, this week's column focuses on the services of Shalom Task Force. (Names...

The Past, The Present, The Future: From Generation To Generation

27 Elul 5769 – September 16, 2009
"Time waits for no man" is an old saying, though I'm not sure where it originated. Other such sayings like, "time flies by too quickly" or "the older you get, the faster time flies by," also contain meaningful messages. For me, I can't believe how quickly the days and years go by. When I think about it, I realize how we must make the very most of each day to accomplish what is important while we still have the opportunity.

Part 27 – Refocusing Your Perspective On Your In-laws

25 Av 5769 – August 14, 2009
The number one factor in resolving problems of acceptance by in-laws is your spouse’s support. As with all close relationships, it’s an art to support your spouse without jumping into the fight or feeding his or her discontent.

Part 25 – Learning To Be Content

11 Av 5769 – July 31, 2009
One of the most important ways a couple can manage money together is to learn the art of contentment. We have already discussed how making a budget can be a very simple way to start saving money.

Part 24 – Making a Monthly Budget

1 Av 5769 – July 22, 2009
There's no getting around it: in marriage, a budget is a requirement for good money management. A budget is simply (1) a tool to increase your consciousness of how and where you spend your money, and (2) a guideline to help you spend your money on the things that are most important to you. Following a budget can create money for savings, where you thought there was none.

Part 23 – How Do You Relate To Money?

26 Tammuz 5769 – July 17, 2009
To help couples better understand where they stand on financial issues, here is a mini quiz that both partners can take and use to facilitate a discussion about money.

Part 22 – Managing Money Together

19 Tammuz 5769 – July 10, 2009
You marry for love and friendship. Yet there are practical concerns involved in making a living and managing your finances that can affect the quality of your marriage.

Part 21 – Therapy For Marriage And Parenting Issues

12 Tammuz 5769 – July 3, 2009
There are some marital issues that are too sensitive for a couple to handle alone. These issues might include mistrust; lack of marital satisfaction; conflict involving in-laws, friends, siblings, and children; verbal abuse; and so on. When dealing with such problems, the best course is to ask a professional outside party for advice and opinions.

Part 20 – At Risk Parents, At Risk Children

5 Tammuz 5769 – June 26, 2009
When parents come to talk to me about a troubled child or teenager, I often find it helpful to explore whether or not their marriage is causing at-risk issues in their home.

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