So, it appears that yours truly has gotten an entire country angry at him and that, as we speak, the Turkish high command, along with something they call “MIT” (it stands for Milli Istihbarat Teskilati, or National Intelligence Organization – nothing to do with brainy guys in Boston figuring out the universe) are up in arms over the threat I’ve been posing to Turkey’s national security. Well, kiss that trip to Istanbul good bye. I saw “Midnight Express,” I know the drill.
I’m a little excited, to be honest, I’ve never had a brawl with a country before. For the most part I fight with Jewish crazies who hate Muslims pathologically, with Reform Jews who insist anyone with a checkbook is a Jew, with the Women of the Wall who must have their piece of the rock, with a president who took my money and gave it to my banker – but never with an entire country. It’s strangely exhilarating, I have to say.
It all began about a week ago, with a story that was published in the Washington Post, the gist of which was that one Hakan Fidan, the head of the Turkish MIT, had knowledge of Israeli agents operating in Iran and, guess what, he turned over a list with ten of their names to the Iranians.
Considering the fact that no reputable refutation has been made available so far, and that the Israelis have not denied the story (since they were probably the ones who gave it to the Post in the first place), what Hakan Fidan did was bloody treacherous.
Indeed, last Friday the Turks stopped the denial campaign, which was coupled with accusations against Israel (naturally) and came around to admitting—in a roundabout way—that he probably had done it.
Foreign Minister Ahmet Davutoglu told the Turkish Hurriyet: “When you read these articles, Hakan Fidan is accused of … not letting other intelligence agencies operate in Turkey. Therefore, he is being blamed for doing his job.”
Yet another good man being hunted down for his loyalty to his country and his faith.
Except that what Hakan Fidan has done was usurp a relationship that began in the 1950s between Israel’s and Turkey’s secret services, taking information he received as Israel’s ally and handing it over for execution to Israel’s worst enemies. Now, there’s a man doing his job and being blamed for it. What a victim.
And, according to The Wall Street Journal, Hakan Fidan was behind the arming of Muslim Brotherhood groups fighting in Syria. That’s one shade away from arming Al Qaeda. Also, the WSJ cited senior U.S. officials who said Fidan gave Iran sensitive intelligence collected by the U.S. and Israel.
A true friend, just doing his job. Lay off our Man Fidan, for he represents the highest values cherished by Recep Tayyip Erdoğan’s Turkey: love of country, love of the downtrodden and the Jews done it.
Now, none of the above stories of betrayal and murder-facilitation were anything I, personally, have gathered. I merely reported on the initial Washington Post expose regarding the folks Fidan most assuredly sent to their deaths. But if you google Hakan Fidan, both in regular and news flavors, you’ll get my Jewish Press story well above anything else in the world, including his Wikipedia profile and the original Washington Post column.
All of Turkey reads my article first, before they read anything else on the subject. I’ve been getting Turkish followers on my Twitter account, and Turks have been leaving hundreds of really angry comments on our Facebook page, comments we labor to remove every hour, because they’re not pleasant to read.
That’s because of a nasty note I, in the heat of opining, entered in the flow of my story: “If anyone deserves to find a special surprise in his car one morning, it’s Fidan, the Turkish spy chief.” You’ll have to admit, it’s not exactly a call to arms, it’s an expression of rage at what appears to be a lowlife reminiscent of those Afghani trainees who murder their American patrol fellows, or those Palestinian “security” folks who turned and shot their IDF patrol partners.
Surprisingly, the Turks are not angry at their own security chief for betraying the trust of a close ally—make that two close allies. They’re upset at me, for saying he deserves to be punished. I suppose some of it gets lost in translation. I also think the Turks, like those Muslims who kill people on account of their Muhammad cartoons (you don’t see Bugs Bunny worshipers doing that, now, do you?), should go shopping for a thicker skin. Seriously.
In any event, I am now a major star in Turkey, most likely because of the magical combination “Jewish Press,” which must be the final proof some Turks needed to the fact that whatever blood curdling fantasies they had harbored about Jews was totally true – look at the facts, this Yori Yanover said so, in the “Jewish Press” — that must be the communications organ for all the Jews.
Let’s face it, antisemites truly believe there’s a powerful Jewish cabal out there, and that if one of us Jews gives the word, immediately those trained, clandestine teams everyone knows so much about take off to carry it out. We can argue it ain’t so until we’re blue in the face, it won’t change their minds. Like I told you, they have the convictions of their deep seated antisemitism.
And so, instead of arguing, I will be the big man here, and announce officially that whatever surprises I may have been plotting for Hakan Fidan are now null and void. I order the Mossad to call the hit teams back; likewise the U.S. Seals which we Jews control with Rothchild’s gold must return to base. There will be no surprises for the Turkish spy chief as long as I’m running this cabal.
And tell David Duke his shorts are ready at the cleaner’s, we gave him the special gentile rate but he mustn’t forget the ticket. No tickie…
Great, now I went and started a war with the KKK and China, too.
About the Author: Yori Yanover has been a working journalist since age 17, before he enlisted and worked for Ba'Machane Nachal. Since then he has worked for Israel Shelanu, the US supplement of Yedioth, JCN18.com, USAJewish.com, Lubavitch News Service, Arutz 7 (as DJ on the high seas), and the Grand Street News. He has published two fun books: The Cabalist's Daughter: A Novel of Practical Messianic Redemption, and How Would God REALLY Vote.
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