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Jerusalem, Israel
11 Tishri 5779 -
? Wednesday, September 19, 2018


Part 11 – 10 Commandments of Communication

Some people are natural communicators. They know how to get across their point of view without damaging their relationship. Others (probably most of us) need some guidance on where to focus and what to steer clear of.

Being Treated Equally

My mother-in-law is totally devoted to her daughters and their children. Her sons’ children on the other hand are treated like second-class citizens.

When Your Ex Puts Your Child In The Middle (First of Two Parts)

Dear Mordechai, When I decided to get a divorce, I resolved early on to take the high road. Whenever my children are in earshot, I am careful to refer to my ex in only positive terms. I’ve stuck to blame-free explanations for why my marriage ended and keep my venting phone chats with my sister to late at night when my kids are asleep. It hasn’t been easy, and no, I’m not perfect. I’ve slipped here and there, but overall, I’ve protected my children from the fallout of my feelings. Last weekend, though, my daughter returned from her mother’s house and said, “I know why you and Mommy divorced. It’s because you lied to her!” Guess what? It’s not the first time. I’ve spoken to her about it, and she only defends her behavior so I don’t think my ex will ever change. Now what?

Dear Dr. Yael

Returning to visit my family for Yom Tov has become torturous for me.

Marital Roles (Third Of Five Parts)

I know that most people will look at the list below and ask, “C’mon, who does this kind of thing in their marriage?” The answer is, couples that want to be happily married and fight less.

Dear Dr. Yael

I miss my child deeply and daven that a true yeshua takes place.

The Jealous Older Sister

A worried mother asks Dr. Yael how to deal with her two-and-a-half year old daughter's jealousy of her newborn brother.

The Marriage Drift

She: We have three children, a home and friends. Finances are not an issue: Yossi leaves money for our home, our family and for me, without my having to ask for it. The children are well dressed, well fed and healthy - at least physically. The house is clean, the laundry done, supper is on the table. I use every bit of energy to make our home the center of my life. But somewhere along the way I lost my marriage.

Dear Dr. Yael

There is halacha and then what is in the spirit of halacha.

A Writer’s Sensitivity

Converting to Judaism through an Orthodox rabbi is an excruciatingly difficult process, not for the faint of heart. It’s a very lonely road and nothing short of a true commitment to Torah can provide the resilience, bravery and fortitude to go through this process. Although some converts are indeed blessed with supportive, understanding families, many aren’t as lucky. And the isolation is part of the many sacrifices made to be closer to Hashem.

Solving The Shidduch Crisis Goes On

A prominent shadchan recently articulated a dilemma she’s facing.

Is Marital Therapy A Mistake

It is important for a therapist to focus on a person's strengths as a way of overcoming his or her difficulties.

Dear Dr. Yael

Marriage is all about compromise and making sacrifices.

Part 26 – Relating To Your In-laws

You may think you said “I do” to just one person on your wedding day, but the reality of married life is that you actually vowed to honor several people. Marriage comes with new challenges; some of which you had no idea were waiting for you.

Dear Dr. Yael

Is mirror imaging something that is important for child development?

Should My Spouse Tell Me Every Time He Does Something Nice For Me?

Question: My husband is always telling me the wonderful things he’s done to make me happy. If he makes the bed, makes calls on my behalf, works hard in the office, I hear about it. The other day he had to take care of a health insurance issue and he made sure to tell me that it took over two hours and three phone calls, in case I thought it went smoothly. I don’t constantly tally up what I do for him and I find it childish that he does. My friends tell me that their husbands don’t do this – so, why does mine?

Help Wanted

Dear Dr. Respler: I love my wife, who is by nature a difficult person. As a result, our seven children gravitate more to me than to her. She thinks she is always right, her favorite line being “I told you so.” This is annoying and drives all of us crazy.

Dear Dr. Yael

My mother-in-law and I have had our problems since the beginning of my marriage.

Confronting Undue Influences

She compares me to her romance "heroes," and I seem to always fall short of her expectations.

When Your Ex Puts Your Child In The Middle (Conclusion)

Dear Mordechai, When I decided to get a divorce, I resolved early on to take the high road. Whenever my children are in earshot, I am careful to refer to my ex in only posi­tive terms. I stick to blame-free explanations for why my marriage ended, and keep my venting phone chats with my sister, late at night, when the kids are asleep. It hasn’t been easy, and no I’m not perfect. I’ve slipped here and there, but overall, I’ve protected my children from the fallout of my feelings. Last weekend, though, my daughter returned from her mother’s house and said, “I know why you and Mommy divorced. It’s be­cause you lied to her!” Guess what? It’s not the first time. I’ve spoken to her about it, and she only defends her behavior; I don’t think she’ll ever change. Now what? (Answer, continued from last week)

Dear Dr. Yael

Maybe my letter with inspire people to appreciate what they have.

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Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/part-11-10-commandments-of-communication/2009/04/17/

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