My friend forwarded this letter and I am sharing it with you, my readers as it concerns an issue that affects many in the “sandwich generation.”
There are millions of adults today who experienced the trauma of their parents’ divorce 20, 30, 40 or more years ago. Some have found closure, but many more have not. Regrettably, it is a time in a child’s life that is never forgotten. It stays with you; it is part of who you are.
The difficulty lies in how teenagers perceive their surroundings. They often see the world as revolving around them and cannot understand why parents are always asking them to do things.
About 10 years ago, I went to Israel for a brief visit and met up with the Kuper family, old friends I hadn't seen for many years.
Ultimately we don't truly understand Hashem's plan. All we can do is our hishtadlus.
Their constant favoring of our family only breeds jealousy and hostility.
I teach a graduate course in trauma and family crisis. The question most often asked by students is, "Why are there so many families in crisis compared to the families our parents grew up in?" Whenever changes in a support system occur, making it no longer secure and defined, our ability to cope, adapt and problem-solve will be impaired.
Dear Dr. Yael, I think it is imperative that you print this letter because this is an ongoing problem in many families. In these families, the children stay in their parents' summer home for the entire summer, and everyone is supposed to live happily under one roof. This can get difficult if a brother-in-law picks on his sister-in-law or vice versa. This past summer my brother-in-law called me names, causing many hurt feelings.
There's no getting around it: in marriage, a budget is a requirement for good money management. A budget is simply (1) a tool to increase your consciousness of how and where you spend your money, and (2) a guideline to help you spend your money on the things that are most important to you. Following a budget can create money for savings, where you thought there was none.
About a month ago, we began the Passover Seder by asking “the four questions,” which led to a narrative explaining how the Jewish people were freed from Egypt. We are now in the midst of a forty-nine day process of spiritual growth in which we prepare ourselves to receive the Torah.
A few years ago I was invited to be a guest on a talk show. An interesting question came up from a young man who wanted some information on the topic of in-laws. He wanted to know if I had ever known of a couple divorcing because of their in-laws. My response was that although divorced people may blame the in-laws for the marriage failure, in most cases this does not happen directly, but indirectly- YES!
The morning blessings provide a daily reminder of the mitzvah to bring peace between a husband and wife. However, most couples can maintain sholom bayis on their own with a practical, easy-to-implement system: the Marriage Meeting Program.
What in my experiential memory can help me understand what is being said to me and some of the wound beyond the bandages I see?
My children encouraged me to date and even set me up with a very special man.
When Rov Pam, a"h, gave me the go ahead to do Pre-Marital counseling, I knew in time I would add more topics to my...
Domestic abuse is an issue that affects people of all religious and cultural backgrounds. It is for this reason that most communities today have organizations that will respond to abuse in a manner appropriate for its constituents.
Dear Dr. Yael: I am very happy and successful in my line of work. However, I am having trouble with a coworker and hope you can help me. A few months ago, a new woman began working at my office. We share a workspace and often have to work together on projects. This woman seemed nice, but there have been several awkward situations between us that are really bothering me.
When you tell a shadchan that you want a young man with a plan or an idea of how he will support his family, the conversation is over.
Dear Dr. Yael: I love your column, but I’ve read enough about the husband who wants to daven vasikin and the in-laws who feel that their married children do not express hakaras hatov to them. What about addressing the singles who love to read your column and want to read something about relationships? But instead of complaining to you, I would like you to answer my question.
How many potential shidduchim are not coming about because we, the mothers, are not allowing them to go through?
She: We have three children, a home and friends. Finances are not an issue: Yossi leaves money for our home, our family and for me, without my having to ask for it. The children are well dressed, well fed and healthy - at least physically. The house is clean, the laundry done, supper is on the table. I use every bit of energy to make our home the center of my life. But somewhere along the way I lost my marriage.
The term "domestic abuse" refers to a cycle of destructive thoughts, feelings and actions that often involve power and control over another person through fear and intimidation. The batterers believe they are entitled to control their partners through emotional, economic and sexual abuse. They often use children to manipulate their spouses.
Unfortunately, the probability is that he will not see a reason to change as he has been acting this way for a long time and clearly has some issues with respecting women.