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How About Husband Schools? – A Reaction

Instead of putting it all on the men, saying for example that they are "trained" by "society" to feel, think and behave as they do, perhaps you could have encouraged these self-described happily-married women to look in the mirror and try to figure out why their husbands seem to act insensitively toward them.

The Wrongs Of Onas Devarim

Dear Dr. Yael: I am the oldest child in a family of seven; one of my sisters is a year younger than me. Even though we basically have the same responsibilities, somehow I always get stuck with all the household chores. My sister has a tendency to take her time, all the while doing one job. Honestly, sometimes it takes her three hours to do the dishes. She says it is because she is a “schlep.” She actually gets angry with her when I ask her to move quicker, saying that “I am not understanding of her feelings” and “she needs time.”

The Good And Bad Lies In Marriage

Are we allowed to lie for shalom bayis? It would seem so, but what might be a healthy guideline for when it’s okay and when it’s not?

Help Wanted

Dear Dr. Respler: I love my wife, who is by nature a difficult person. As a result, our seven children gravitate more to me than to her. She thinks she is always right, her favorite line being “I told you so.” This is annoying and drives all of us crazy.

Husband Spending Too Much Time With Business Partner Of The Opposite Sex

Question: I trust my husband implicitly. He has never given me reason to suspect him of wrongdoing. So, why am I writing? Three years ago he began a new job. He works very closely with a frum woman. They make a very good team – she is the salesperson and crucial to the business. A few months ago they started to train together to run in a half marathon for tzedakah. Then I found out that she and her husband had separated. I did not hear this from my husband – it was a friend who told me. When I asked my husband why he didn’t tell me, he said that she asked him not to tell anyone and he respected her privacy. Then I found out that they skipped a workout because of the rain and instead had lunch together. This I heard from a friend who saw them together. Please understand I don't want to think he's doing anything wrong. Surely he wouldn't be in a restaurant for all to see if he was up to no good. He says I'm being overly sensitive. Is he right?

Is It The Frum Woman’s Fault?

Dear Dr. Respler: I disagree with the January 27 letter writer, Desperate Single Woman, who wrote that the frum, older singles scene is easier on the men. Well, I am a man who desperately wants to get married and start a family.

Being Enmeshed: Insights Into Concurrently Holding On And Letting Go

I once heard a story about a single man struggling to find a spouse. His main challenge was his insistence that a potential mate permanently welcome his widowed mother into their marital home. A friend suggested that he speak with the great authority, Harav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt’l. The man shared with the Rav his delicate predicament. The Rav validated the man’s approach as acceptable. Sometime later, the man met his bashert, the special woman willing to live with his mom. They returned to Rav Shlomo Zalman for his blessing. Surprisingly, the Rav called the man aside and told him that they cannot live with his mother anymore. The young man was shocked. After all, on the previous visit, the Rav had supported his desire to find a woman who would accept their living with his mother.

Easing The Trauma Of Divorce

Dear Dr. Respler: I am currently involved in a yearlong custody battle over my three children, who are all under the age of 10. I...

Desperate To Reconnect With Their Son

Dear Dr. Yael: Unfortunately, for the last several years our beloved son (we will call him Shmuel) has become estranged from us. This occurred immediately after his wedding in Israel.

Being A Friendless Teen

My teachers like me and they tell my parents that I am a great girl with good middos.

Dear Dr. Yael

The purposely look down and away if I try to smile in their direction.

Changing Families

Dear Mordechai, My wife has read your articles and books. It sounds so nice to be able to put one’s marriage first. But let’s be real. I have a job, kids, minyanim to catch and daf yomi shiurim to attend. My wife and I are stressed over money. Who isn’t? Don’t you think you’re causing unrealistic expectations for marriages when you say, “put your marriage first?” How much can I work at my marriage when everything else is going on? Shouldn’t the work in my life be what I’m supposed to be doing, namely to make my marriage financially viable? Maybe there are times in a marriage that you shouldn’t expect to be so “in love.” My marriage won’t be happy if I’m broke.

The Bum Class

When Rov Pam, a"h, gave me the go ahead to do Pre-Marital counseling, I knew in time I would add more topics to my...

A Call From Above

Upon hearing that he did, the owner sent him the atarah – all shiny and new – to be returned to me. I was reunited with my father’s precious gift.

Dear Dr. Yael

I find his mother to be a difficult person and my nature is to stay away from people like that.

Freedom From Fear: Understanding Anxiety

Most people are not aware that anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States, affecting 40 million adults age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population).

Dear Dr. Yael

Please, Dr. Respler, tell people to mind their own business.

WE vs. ME Couples

My father-in-law spent over thirty-five years as a circuit court judge. He noticed that some clients paid teams of lawyers only to be poorly represented. He noted in these cases that, "the lawyers are so busy arguing with each other that nobody's arguing the case." There was an absence of cohesiveness and the ego driven fighting rendered the team ineffective.

A Lesson In Self-Control

The objective of Pre-Marital Counseling is for couples to learn new skills on how to improve commu­nication, and resolve conflicts creatively. It would seem logical that the parents of these couples have learned from being together and through a lot of tough times that good communication is the single most important aspect of a satisfying relationship.

Dear Dr. Yael

A great portion of mental illness stems from a defect in the body.

Respecting Our Children

When adults cut in front of my child, they are stealing from her and me, as her delay in returning home affords me less help.

Dear Dr. Yael

Whenever we are together, I come home sad.

If You Say Something, See Something

No, the above title is not a misprint of the ubiquitous, “If you see something, say something” campaign encouraging citizens to report suspicious packages and behavior to the police. In these ads, often found in public places and synagogues, one sees a photo of a passenger with an unattended package nearby.

Pesach: A Time For Personal Redemption

We recognize that the Exodus story in the Torah, like all biblical narratives, is more than just a historical or political tale of physical bondage and ensuing liberation, it is also a spiritual and psychological drama. The exodus represents the human potential to liberate itself from slavery -- be it physical, mental, or spiritual.

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