Marriage and Relationships

I believe that in therapy if both husband and wife work on their individual issues, and then show positive loving feelings to one another, the marriage can improve dramatically.

I stared over at Binyamin. Not that long ago I had cared for him, Shaindy, not deeply or passionately, but enough to look forward to his coming home, enough to worry about his health and well-being. Had he ever cared about me?

Please Dr. Respler give me ideas on how to parent my grown children properly.

Forty-five minutes later, he called. “You’re a witch! What are you doing to me?” “What happened now?” I held the phone three inches from my poor ear. “As if you don’t know.” I took a bite of toast. “Tell me.”

This is of course your right and there is certainly the argument that sometimes we all need to recharge, to take a break, and to step back when we feel beaten down or overwhelmed.

Networking is also a very good medium. We let the word out when we were initially looking to adopt; we told many people. She should let the word out to people she knows outside of her state.

Your willingness to learn and grow is already an asset in the shidduch process. There are, however, some ideas that might help you during this time.

I tried to communicate with my eyes – stop, no more tricks! – but he shuffled over to Binyamin’s side and whispered in his ear.

I was shocked to read that R.N. refers to the young men as boys. If they are boys, then maybe the mothers are right to have reservation with the suggestion of the shadchan.

You are doing so well. Dating is a challenge that often feels like a race without rules. Perhaps now is the perfect time to breathe and regroup.

What in the world had Hashem been thinking when He put me and Binyamin together? Why was I condemned to suffer?

My mother thinks of herself as a superior person, has very little feelings for other people, and probably suffers from a deep lack of self-esteem.

Of course, you are intimated and overwhelmed. The more focused you become on their bottom line, the more bargain basement you will feel.

Binyamin is responsible and industrious, an excellent provider. At times he can be quite generous. When I married my husband, we were penniless, you know. I didn’t know if his business would succeed or not, but I took the chance.

Please do not behave passive-aggressively with the shadchan by continuously avoiding the shadchan's call, in regards to your response after a date.

Everything changed from that day. No more smiles, no more evening walks, no more asking about the other’s day. Nothing between us would ever be the same.

There is always safety in numbers. Travel with a friend or two and agree to look out for one another and to travel back to your homes together at the end of the evening.

If it is your mehalech to drink wine (as per your Rav), then please make sure to be in a safe place and conduct yourself with dignity.

You get along and have not found any distinct deal-breaking flaws in one another. But marrying someone because they are just “fine” is not a kindness to yourself or to them.

I heard Binyamin walking up the stairs. I shoved the book back into Binyamin’s jacket. The door creaked open. I took a breath. Another one, and tried to shake off that sour sensation in my stomach.

All who have gone through this know the look. My mom then told me to lie about the years of my marriage and say two years, so that maybe their faces would not give you that look of “Oy, so sad.”

Be open with this special man, communicating your concerns so he can validate, problem-solve, and reassure you. Work together to assess your comfort level, his, and hers. Your willingness to “try” will be meaningful and precious to him.

I read in a magazine that the secret to marital harmony is having separate bathrooms. All my woman stuff that littered the medicine cabinet and sink counter– you know, the tubes and creams and make-up – well, they grated on his nerves.

Clearly if he feels rejected, he may be using the passive aggressive jokes as a way of expressing his feelings.

Something that is valuable is often not placed on display. Money in a bank, jewelry in a safe, passports tucked away. Relationships that are meaningful and strong are also in need of protection and privacy.

Of course we are all human and can make mistakes, which can be hurtful, but we still need to all work on thinking before speaking.

Being someone that others feel they can rely on when they are in a bind is highly commendable. It is frustrating, however, to even the most noble giver...

If we choose a path in which we try to bridge gaps by having a positive attitude and engaging in humor and happiness as well as blessing others, we ultimately will find pleasure in life.

Those we date and the one we eventually marry cannot be responsible for our self-worth. While it feels nice to know that others view you positively, we cannot rely on others to manage our self-esteem.

You mention that your husband was raised with these same painful jokes. Perhaps he was raised in a family where you were not allowed to discuss feelings, so he found a way to express his anger and frustration passively.