Don’t Pop My Bubble
In shidduchim we need to look toward possibilities and potential. We do not hold onto self-righteous anger, we do not become cold and unfeeling, and we do not develop a victim mentality. We have to face opportunity with an open heart and from a place of yes.
The Demystification Process
Demystification is actually a wonderful tool for helping children overcome their learning disabilities because it enables children to understand how they learn.
Dr. Yael Respler
He needed to be pushed to his physical edge and to fight. He really needed to fight.
Road To Recovery
Dear Brocha,
As I write this letter I am overcome with emotions. Relief, fear, trepidation, elation…the feelings are all jumbled up inside of me.
Please allow me to back track.
My daughter, who recently turned 20, just left to rehab. After four years of denial, lies, manipulation, anger and chaos she finally admitted she has a problem with alcohol.
Dear Dr. Yael
If this is an emotionally abusive situation, you would need to get your son out of the marriage, but if you can get the couple help and your daughter-in-law changes, the marriage can be saved.
Learning A New Language: Speaking To Your Tween
Suddenly, it may start to feel like your like child does not want to speak to you at all. And this is especially difficult at this age since you may feel an even more pressing need to support and protect them as they gain independence.
The Struggles of Gifted Children
It’s true that your daughter might have trouble relating to children her own age, but as she gets older, she will be comfortable in all sorts of situations. Once she enters high school, her peers will have caught up with her and she will do equally well at interacting with her classmates as well as adults.
Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities
A Female Member of the Satmar Community in Williamsburg takes Deborah Feldman to task for her allegations in a recent newspaper interview…
Different, Not Dumb
What are the causes behind output failure? Are we discussing actual dysfunctions of the brain – or does the term merely whitewash certain flaws in character?
Multi-Generation Blended Family
Multi-generational families are making a comeback these days. For some the choice is made out of necessity because of the unstable economy, for others it is due to the physical needs of either the younger generation or aging parents. And then sometimes the decision to live this way is out of a mutual desire to be full and present participants in extended family life. For us it was a combination of factors that brought us to this point.
Can Food and Anxiety Be Linked?
People who are emotional eaters use food to make themselves feel better. In other words, they eat to fill emotional needs, rather than to fill their stomachs.
Are You A Good Parent?
Psychologists study ways to help people find authentic happiness. Researchers report that using one's strengths allows for greater creativity, productivity and excellence. While theses are all the ingredients for professional and career success, they have also been found to work in people's personal lives as well. Utilizing personal strengths yields greater happiness and feelings of well being.
Don’t Lie To Me!
Psychologists and educators agree on one point; the single most important criterion in raising truthful children is to expose them consistently to a home and school environment where integrity is not only preached but scrupulously practiced. Even when it involves sacrifice.
Anxiety Management
“Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength – carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't...
Learning To Communicate And Accept Each Other’s Individuality
The challenges that married couples face everyday can be quite complicated, not to mention filled with unique nuances. Issues of infidelity in one couple are different from issues of infidelity in another.
Domestic Abuse In The Frum Community
As the coordinator of the Domestic Abuse Program at OHEL for the past 10 years, I have seen many very special women come forward with their painful stories. I am proud to say that our program has made a significant difference in the lives of these courageous women.
Boys And Girls And Bullying
Girls tend to do more of the “mean girl” syndrome. The bullying is more underhanded and veiled. There is taunting and verbal abuse... On the other hand, with boys, you see more of the physical bullying: hitting and using physical aggression to intimidate.
Mending Fences
The difficulty lies in how teenagers perceive their surroundings. They often see the world as revolving around them and cannot understand why parents are always asking them to do things.
Dear Dr. Yael
Chaya is frightened of being like her mother whom she considers a push-over. She prefers to be like her father who is the dominant one in the family.
A Writer’s Sensitivity
Converting to Judaism through an Orthodox rabbi is an excruciatingly difficult process, not for the faint of heart. It’s a very lonely road and nothing short of a true commitment to Torah can provide the resilience, bravery and fortitude to go through this process. Although some converts are indeed blessed with supportive, understanding families, many aren’t as lucky. And the isolation is part of the many sacrifices made to be closer to Hashem.
How Fighting Harms Children
When parents come to talk to me about a troubled child or teenager, I often find it helpful to explore whether or not their marriage is causing their teenager to be at risk.
Adults Who Were Children of Divorce: Meeting With Your Parents Today
As adults who were children of divorce know, healing does not occur through time alone. In fact, my research found that only 46% said they had a positive relationship with their fathers as adults.
More On Controlling Behavior
Control may be the most destructive force influencing a marriage. Let me illustrate this point with the following story. About two years ago a woman named Bracha, 47, came to speak to me about her husband’s controlling behavior. This is how she described her precarious situation:
Never Beyond Reach
Dear Rabbi Schonbuch,
My husband drinks every night. He starts with a few glasses of wine with dinner and always ends with whisky. Some nights it's just one or two large ones and other nights it can be half a bottle. I know that we believe that drinking at a Farbrengen or a Kiddush is allowed, but when does it begin to become a problem?
Changing Families
Dear Mordechai,
My wife has read your articles and books. It sounds so nice to be able to put one’s marriage first. But let’s be real. I have a job, kids, minyanim to catch and daf yomi shiurim to attend. My wife and I are stressed over money. Who isn’t? Don’t you think you’re causing unrealistic expectations for marriages when you say, “put your marriage first?” How much can I work at my marriage when everything else is going on? Shouldn’t the work in my life be what I’m supposed to be doing, namely to make my marriage financially viable? Maybe there are times in a marriage that you shouldn’t expect to be so “in love.” My marriage won’t be happy if I’m broke.