Purim And The Tyranny Of Beauty: A Plea to Mothers of Girls in Shidduchim

I know I’m going to be crucified, but if the appeal I make below helps even one girl in shidduchim, then it will be worth all the fury and outrage that shall inevitably descend upon my soon-to-be beleaguered head.

Rules, Rules, Rules: Are There Some Rules To Live By?

On a much more serious note, Judaism prescribes many rules that we follow that involve both moral and religious codes.

Surviving Bullying, Silencing And Torment For Being Gay In The Frum Community

It’s been more than six months since The Jewish Press published an op-ed titled “Orthodox Homosexuals and the Pursuit of Self Indulgence.” In the article, the writer, while not mentioning my name, calls me shameless and self-indulgent and suggests that I learn to suffer in silence.

I Don’t Want To Marry A ‘Learning’ Boy

When there is someone who leans toward one group, but doesn’t tick every box, people may still encourage them to accept the label in order to expedite the dating process.

Decoding Sensory Processing Disorder

There is always a lot of confusion surrounding sensory processing disorder – mainly because there are many different diagnoses that fall under the catch-all phrase sensory processing disorder (SPD). Among them are three specific subcategories:

A Letter From A Mother In Pain

What follows is story of a regular family and a tragedy that unfolded while we were not looking.

So Your Daughter Is Home From Seminary… Now What?

When asked about concerns they have about returning home after their year, one of the most popular responses is something like, “I am dreading all the questions about my skirts and sleeve length."

The Fear Of Abandonment: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy (Part II)

In part one (Family Issues 04-29-2011) we mentioned that often a symptom of the anxiety disorder, the fear of abandonment, is a strong need to be in control. That is because the person suffering from the disorder has lost someone in their past - due to separation, divorce or death - and may unconsciously blame themselves for the desertion.

Husband Spending Too Much Time With Business Partner Of The Opposite Sex

Question: I trust my husband implicitly. He has never given me reason to suspect him of wrongdoing. So, why am I writing? Three years ago he began a new job. He works very closely with a frum woman. They make a very good team – she is the salesperson and crucial to the business. A few months ago they started to train together to run in a half marathon for tzedakah. Then I found out that she and her husband had separated. I did not hear this from my husband – it was a friend who told me. When I asked my husband why he didn’t tell me, he said that she asked him not to tell anyone and he respected her privacy. Then I found out that they skipped a workout because of the rain and instead had lunch together. This I heard from a friend who saw them together. Please understand I don't want to think he's doing anything wrong. Surely he wouldn't be in a restaurant for all to see if he was up to no good. He says I'm being overly sensitive. Is he right?

You Just Received A Hazmana – A Summons To Beis Din: What Do You...

Since most women do not have a clue what to do when they receive a hazmana, we will try to allay the fears they might have.

Decoding PDD And NVLD: Understanding The Alphabet of Disabilities

Kids with NVLD are very verbal and often do not have academic problems until they get to the upper grades in school.

The Healthy Divorce

On average each couple will have between 4-6 sessions with a week to ten days between sessions.

The Road Map To A Happy Marriage

Creating direction in a marriage is similar to going on a long journey. To get to where you want to go, you need to have a plan that includes directions, supplies and the ability to navigate along the way. You will also have to be prepared for many possible factors that may interfere with your trip, including wind, rain, unpredictable mechanical breakdown and human error. Most importantly you will need a map to guide and help reorient you in case you lose your way.

Picture Imperfect – A Group of Shadchanim Is Pushing to Get Rid of Photos...

While we are visual beings, and it is natural to want to see how the person looks, the problem is that when you see the picture before you meet the person, you create a single image of who the person is.

Getzlight – Chapter 1

I read in a magazine that the secret to marital harmony is having separate bathrooms. All my woman stuff that littered the medicine cabinet and sink counter– you know, the tubes and creams and make-up – well, they grated on his nerves.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities

A Female Member of the Satmar Community in Williamsburg takes Deborah Feldman to task for her allegations in a recent newspaper interview…

Gila Manolson: A Response to Yitta Halberstam’s Plea to Mothers of Girls in Shidduchim

Don't worry, Yitta, I'm not going to crucify you, as you feared. I actually agreed with the gist of your article, which was obviously heartfelt and well-intended. I just want to point out where you crossed a line...

Eight Stages, Two Paths: Erik Erikson’s Psychosocial Stages Of Development

The eight stages are usually by age (though in some cases the ages are fluid).

Strep Throat And Anxiety: Is There A Connection?

Rachel is a bubbly and adorable 8-year-old girl. From a young age, she was afraid of the dark, but after a minimal amount of coaxing, would eventually go to bed. Outside of the home, Rachel loved school, excelled in her classes, and looked forward to going to school each day. Suddenly, one night, all of this changed. Rachel would not go to bed. She claimed she was afraid of the dark. After four hours of her mother sitting beside her bed, Rachel finally fell asleep; however, she awoke an hour later screaming, "Please don't leave me alone. I can't be alone." Rachel's mother, in an effort to calm her down, spent the night on the floor beside the bed. Even so, Rachel woke about every half-hour to check that her mother was still there.

The Intensity of Gifted Children: Pros And Cons

You aren’t given a manual when you have a child and there’s no survival guide to tell you what to do.

Dear Dr. Yael

Divine providence had led me to a place I needed to be, the place I belonged.

It’s Alright To Cry

We avoid difficult conversations, we react with anger, and we eat our feelings without knowing why.

Dear Dr. Yael

I always say that an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. If we can all learn how to parent effectively, then this world would be a better place.

Divorce Is Not An Epidemic: Couples Underprepared For Marriage Is

“Why don’t they tell us this stuff before we get married?”

Homeschooling On The Rise In Orthodox Community

For many children, going to school involves spending their mornings and afternoons traveling to their destination amid classmates and chatter on a large yellow bus. But for a growing number of children all around the world, the process of getting an education may involve no commuting at all.

Demystifying Learning Disabilities: Empowering Students

Meet Noam, a ninth grader I worked with several years ago. Noam came to my office because he was struggling with his biology curriculum. Though Noam was extremely smart, he had ADHD, which made it hard for him to focus on all of the material presented during class. Before we even looked at the material together, I asked Noam how he learned best. His face was blank as he responded, “Um, Mrs. Schonfeld, I really am not sure.”

Without Saying A Word: Nonverbal Communication For Children And Adults

In any relationship, the words that people say are extremely significant, but it is the unspoken language of friendship that truly allows relationships to flourish and grow.

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach: Make Men More Mature Rather than Send Girls Under the Knife

Is this what three thousand and three hundred years of Jewish tradition has come to, that a nation that has always dared to walk alone, with different ideals and values from the wider culture, should so fully capitulate to the most corrupt, misogynistic values, that we would advocate that our young women have plastic surgery in order to get married?

Shidduchim: What To Look For In A Spouse

If you are stuck in a traffic jam, how does your date respond to the frustration of being late?

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