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August 31, 2016 / 27 Av, 5776

Posts Tagged ‘LIFE’

Holocaust As A Lesson For Life

Friday, June 17th, 2016

In our May 27th issue we featured an article about an 8th grade class in Tom’s River, New Jersey that studied Professor Livia Bitton Jackson’s memoir as part of its Language Arts curriculum. When their studies were over, the students had some comments and questions for Professor Jackson, which she graciously agreed to respond to.

 

LBJ-061716-BridgesIzabella Brodbeck: The Holocaust can be told in more than 1,000 words, but Livia’s memoir tells “1,000 years.”

Professor Jackson: The 1,000 years reflected my sense of the enormity of the Holocaust experience and the history of Jewish suffering. The words were in response to the German woman’s question as to my age at the time of liberation by US troops. She thought I was “60, or 61…” When I told her I was 14, she walked away in shock, leaving me to think that I was indeed 14 but I had suffered and lived 1,000 years.

Katelyn Bajcic: Reading the story makes you thankful for what you have now.

PJ: One of the significant lessons that can be derived from the Holocaust, a story of extreme privation is gratitude for all we are granted in our daily existence.

Jenna Aldellizzi: How were you able to trust in mankind after surviving?

PJ: A survivor would have been justified in loosing faith in mankind, yet I was aware that the horrors of Holocaust were caused by the Germans and their collaborators, not by mankind. And not all Germans were evil. Many were unaware of what was going on and some of those who were even helped Jews. One must not generalize but look at people as individuals.

Emily Robinson: Was there ever a time when you might have wanted to give up on saving yourself and your mother? If you had known about the heinous personalities of the Nazis and the German people, would you have trusted the one officer, Pista, with your poems?

PJ: Never! I felt I had to keep fighting for every day, every moment. For tomorrow. For life. Especially for my mother’s life. To return home. To bring her home.

Emily, Pista was a Hungarian soldier, not a German. But I would have trusted him anyway. He had a kind face.

Mrs. Trent: Did you ever get back any of the writing you had done before the war?LBJ-061716-Elli

PJ: No. All was lost. I do not have a single page of my former writing.

Edgar Lemus: How hard was it to adapt back to society after being isolated for so many years?

PJ: Yes, it was a difficult and gradual process. I described it in two books, sequels to I Have Lived A Thousand Years: My Bridges Of Hope and Hello, America. In those books the reader can experience how we coped post-Holocaust.

Ryan Hueston: When you were taken into Auschwitz, was there anyone other than your mother you could trust at the level of a family member?

PJ: On arrival in Auschwitz we met my Aunt Celia, my mother’s younger sister and two cousins, daughters of my father’s sister. But we were soon separated from them, and never saw them again. I had no one to share with or trust on that level.

LBJ-061716-Thousand-YearsVictoria Jackson: How did you view the Nazis during the Holocaust and how do you view them now? Is the resentment still living inside you?

PJ: During the Holocaust I dreaded the Germans. We all feared them as they treated us cruelly, often shooting at us or sending any of us to the gas chambers at a moment’s whim.

After the Holocaust I returned to Germany at the invitation of the German government for commemoration ceremonies of our liberation by the Americans. During these visits, in 1995, in 2005 and in 2015, I met a number of Germans and their families and became convinced that they truly regretted what their grandparents did. I made lasting friendships in Germany. My total outlook has changed.

This is the final lesson of the Holocaust: it cannot happen again! The Germans are no longer our enemies, and we Jews are no longer helpless victims. We have our own state, Israel, an outstanding member of the family of nations.

Prof. Livia Bitton-Jackson

Life Chronicles

Friday, June 10th, 2016

Dear Mrs. Bluth,

I find myself in a very depressing situation, one I can’t seem to find a way out of and it is coloring every moment of my life.  I am not a newly-wed and by no means new to the trials and day-to-day issues that stress a marriage.  I had always viewed my marriage as one that would last a lifetime and withstand any challenge, however, I am not so sure about that any longer.  In fact, I am, at this writing entertaining divorce; staying has become way too painful and I hate what it is doing to the children.

We were always a wonderful couple, my husband and I; our marriage was the envy of our friends and family.  We were happy and content and the happiness grew with the arrival of each of our nine children, k”ah.  I was always the one to whom my friends would turn when they were experiencing dips and lulls in their own marriages, just as the men would turn to my husband on how to approach their wives when things were rocky at home.  And so, life went on until we were readying to make plans for our first-born triplets bar mitzvahs.  My in-laws, who have always been rather meddlesome and pushy, feeling they had a right to this because my husband worked for his father, insisted on a huge Shabbos kiddush, a lavish lunch after in the shul for all family and friends and then, as if this wasn’t enough, a Sunday evening gala, complete with band, flowers and entertainment.  This was not what we had in mind.  But my husband, being the son that he is, allowed himself to be worn down by their badgering. This caused arguments between us and it only got worse as we finalized the events.  It broke my heart that he wouldn’t stand with me on what we both, originally had decided to do for our three boys. We ended up with garish, tacky and tasteless three days of waste and gluttony. And a divide that only grew with time.

When our daughter’s bas mitzvah came up a little over a year and a half after the bar mitzvahs, I was so glad that her school forbade evening affairs and thought there would be no heartache over this event.  I was wrong.  My father-in-law presented the menahel of her school with a large donation in exchange for the school’s allowing my daughter to have a mini-wedding for her bat mitzvah.  And again, my husband shot down any opposition I had and took their side.

At this point, there was no turning back to what had once been a happy and cohesive union between us, as there was nothing that remained from it.  My marriage was dead and we were just going through the motions of being a couple.

We no longer discussed anything other than what was absolutely necessary.  My husband left early in the morning and returned from work late at night, after eating somewhere else and going to his shiur.  I filled my days with whatever the children needed, the house demanded and anything that would keep my mind and hands busy so my heart wouldn’t hurt so much.  I came to the realization that I was non-existent to my husband and that his life was complete, my place in it having been filled by his parents and siblings along with our children.  I try to understand where and when this began to happen.  Did it start with the bar mitzvahs?  Or was something amiss well before these events and only came to light because of them?

Mrs. Bluth, I don’t think I can take much more of this mental torture and deadly silence at the Shabbos table.  I know my children love their father and he is a good and loving parent to them, so, to leave and end the marriage at this stage in their young lives would be terribly cruel.  But I don’t think I can go on any longer, living alone in a dead marriage just to keep up appearances.

Please give me some idea of what can be done?

 

 

Dear Friend,

How sad that a marriage that began so beautifully, with so much love and happiness, has turned into a ghost story, in which two once loving spouses cease to see each other.

You are probably right in your thinking that the problems began before the triple bar mitzvah; in my mind this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.  Your intrusive in-laws, whom you say you and your husband were able to deal with during your years of contentment prior to the simcha, have actually been an issue from the outset of your union.

If I understand correctly, your husband feels, or has been made to feel, that because his father gives him his paycheck, it also offers his father the added privilege of decision-making and opinion-rendering, so much so that it overrides the wishes of his son and daughter-in-law.  Therein lies the death knell to many young and promising marriages.  But this is only one third of the problem that I get here.

What I have trouble understanding is why your husband had no backbone, or ability to stand up for the decisions that you and he had made together regarding your simcha.  Did you ask your in-laws for monetary assistance to cover the expenses of the bar mitzvahs?  Did your in-laws offer to help out with the cost?

Did you, yourself, confront them when this became a troublesome issue between you and your husband and explain to them that this is causing both of you much angst?  This would have been the way to go back then and perhaps it would have yielded a different outcome.

But that was light years ago and this is now, so let’s see what can be done to remedy and perhaps, recapture your once idyllic home life.

When two people are in a haze of pain that they think the other is responsible for, stagnation sets in and keeps the brain from making the proper choices.  I am also led to believe that you both have off in your private corners, lamenting what has befallen you and not taken any concrete action, such as seeing a counselor or therapist who would guide you in communicating with each other.  My feeling has always been that two people who loved each other enough to marry will recoup that love no matter what interrupted it, if they are willing to work and find it.  Nothing worth having comes easy, and rediscovering what you loved and lost will make it all the more precious.  So, be the bigger one, break the silence and ask your husband to go with you for counseling.  I am hopeful you will find your way back to each other.

To all in-laws out there, please take note:  Our place in the marriages of our children is to “just be there,” close by, as needed or invited.  Our opinions, although valuable and priceless in our minds, should be made available only upon request.  Our visits as well should be upon invitation or preceded by a phone call, and never, ever a pop in on a whim.  Some marriages, especially new and fragile ones, need to maturate with just the two lead players feathering their nest, uninterrupted.

Until some little chicks appear and we’re then called upon to babysit.

Rachel Bluth

What’s The Plan? Getting The Life You Want

Monday, June 6th, 2016

If it is your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first – Mark Twain

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one – Mark Twain

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones that you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover – Mark Twain

 

***

Mark Twain, the nineteenth century American author of classics such as Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer was born Samuel Clemens. He was a prolific writer and highly sought-after public lecturer. He often spoke about procrastination and success – and how the key to success was to begin rather than to wait around and react to what life has thrown your way.

In their new book Living Forward: A Proven Plan to Stop Drifting and Get the Life You Want, Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy deal with many of the same issues, but approach it in a systematic way. Their basic question is: “How can you achieve the life you want to live?” Don’t we all want to know the answer to that question!

Hyatt and Harkavy begin their book by explaining a term they coined: drift. They explain that we have the tendency to drift or to veer from what our own intentions. It is as if you are out in the ocean and you lose sight of the shore, but do not realize it until you have moved many miles away. This drift can occur in our careers, in our marriages, in our health, or in other arenas that are particularly important to us. Why does this drift happen? The authors ascribe it to four different factors:

It happens when we are unaware. We don’t have a plan for what we want and thus are not even aware of what our goal is.

It happens when we are distracted. We are so focused on one area of our lives that we ignore everything else. For example, you might be building your business and heavily investing your time and energy into that for many years. Then, one day you might turn around and notice that your marriage is struggling because you have not focused on it at all.

It happens when we are overwhelmed. Sometimes in the busy pace of life, we are just struggling to keep up and say we will “get to that when this next project is done” or “I will think about that over the summer.” In reality, those are often just excuses and we don’t ever get to the thing we said we would.

It happens when we are deceived. Sometimes we believe that we cannot do things or make changes. In those cases we might be deceiving ourselves (and we think we can’t change…)

 

Consequences of drifting:

Confusion.

Expense – Fix your health or fix your marriage.

Lost opportunity – Busy trying to keep up, you can’t take opportunities.

Pain – Hurts not to be in optimal health or your careers is not where you want it to be. Regrets – You are not in the place you want to be.

 

“Life Planning is the exact opposite of the drift. The drift is about passivity. Life Planning is about proactivity. The drift is about blaming our circumstances or other people. Life Planning is about taking responsibility. The drift is about living without a plan. Life Planning is about having a plan and working it.”

Benjamin Franklin is the first Life Planner we know of. Around 1730, while in his late twenties, he drafted a plan for self-improvement. He listed thirteen essential virtues he wanted to develop in his life – things like temperance, frugality, industry, and humility. He chose one virtue to focus on each week and kept a daily chart to track his progress.

A Life Plan is a short written document, usually five to fifteen pages long. Yes, that’s right. Not a big, fat, three-ring binder with a hundred pages of detailed plans. No, just a short, written document that you can read with ease on a daily or weekly basis.

It is created by you and for you. It describes how you want to be remembered. It articulates your personal priorities. It provides the specific actions necessary to take you from where you are to where you want to be in every major area of your life.

Three powerful questions: How do I want to be remembered? What matters most?

How can I get from here to where I want to be?

Plan a wedding, plan which car to buy, but who plans their life? The drift – reactive. The plan – proactive.

Life will be different: Clarity – where you want to end up, what the action steps are. Courage – can say yes to what is truly important. Control – go through life feeling out of control, but this allows us to be in control.

Rifka Schonfeld

Life Chronicles

Monday, June 6th, 2016

Dear Mrs. Bluth,

I am so devastated at this writing, as are many others in my community. I am writing to you not so much for a solution, rather to bring this terrible problem to the forefront and perhaps save someone else’s child.

I just received the news that a neighbor’s son was involved in a horrible car accident and was niftar.  He was driving home from a vort with three friends and they had all been drinking.  Two of the other young men are in critical but guarded condition and the third, who had been sitting in the front seat, without a seat belt on, is not expected to make it. What makes no sense, is that the young man who died, the driver, was not drunk. What made him lose control and hit a tree? We might never know.

My heart breaks for our neighbors, who must now bury their only son and for the other parents who must wait and daven for a good outcome for their sons.

This is the most recent tragedy in a long history of road accidents that our community and neighboring communities have suffered over the last few years and I fear it will not be the last.

Please warn others that before they allow their sons and daughters to get behind the wheel of a car they are sure these kids are mature enough to make the right decisions.  Kids with drug problems or alcohol addiction should not be allowed to drive, period.  It is bad enough when older people are involved in car accidents, do to age, poor judgement or substance abuse but when it happens to eighteen and nineteen year olds, it is devastating!

 

 

Dear Friend,

My heart goes out to you, your neighbors who have suffered the tragic loss of a child and to the communities that have experienced so many losses. Your pain is palpable.

Car accidents can happen for any one of a hundred reasons, only two of which you mention.  Aside from substance abuse and immaturity, there is also the possibility that a driver is too tired and his judgement is impaired or he dozes off while driving, or that he is ill which may cause him or her to lose control of the vehicle.  You must also consider that there may have been another vehicle with an erratic driver who may have caused this young man to swerve off the road in order to avoid hitting him.

And then, there’s the addiction that is not documented anywhere, or actually considered an addiction, and that is speed.  Not the kind that is inhaled or ingested, but actual speed that gives the driver, bicyclist or motorcyclist the rush and exhilaration on a stretch of empty road, especially at night.

Speed represents power and power is a strong draw for eighteen- and nineteen-year-olds who experience the thrill of it when they first get behind the wheel of a car.  This often is the first feel of ultimate control and complete independence that they have and the rush is powerful and addictive – and often, deadly.  Not every person is ready to drive when he or she is eighteen.  Maturity and good judgement are things that develop at different times with different people and the legal age at which a young person is judged to be fit to drive may not be a true measure for everyone.  Parents must be honest enough to recognize if their son or daughter is capable of handling the responsibility of driving, and if not, they are obligated to make sure that young person does not get behind the wheel of a car.  A car and a gun are almost the same in that they are weapons that can maim or kill in the hands of the wrong person.  So let’s add speed to the list of recognized addictions that could very well be the cause of so many car accidents where nothing else seems to justify a reason.  And then, there’s Hashem’s Will.

***

Dear Mrs. Bluth,

This is in regard to the letter about the blind person and his guide dog.  Please note that in two letters sent by the Lubavitcher Rebbe to the Rav Mendel Kasher, who wrote in his Torah Shleima (vol. 15) that it is forbidden to allow a dog in shul, the Rebbe disagrees with him and with the proofs brought to support the thesis.  The Lubavitcher Rebbe concluded as follows (translated from the original Hebrew, words in square brackets have been added by the translator for explanation):

“In such a case [of allowing a blind person’s guide dog to accompany him into shul] there is another special point involved – according to the ruling in Shulchan Aruch Orech Chayim, end of chapter 88, that it [causes] great suffering when everyone gathers [in shul] while they [regarding women, during their periods] have to stand outside (although in the Shulchan Aruch it [refers] only to two weeks in the month, and even then, not for always. which is not the case for a blind person, etc. [for whom forbidding his dog from accompanying him might exclude him from shul permanently].  Of course, it is possible to arrange [his] entry into shul, with the assistance of a human being.  But in the case mentioned in your column, if there is any importance to his coming into [shul] whether it is because or [otherwise it causes] emotional pain or because of the impotence of prayer specifically in a shul) one should seek ways to enable him to enter [with the dog] as is easy to understand.”

These letters are published in volume 18 of the Rebbe’s Igros Kodesh (pg. 422 and pg. 455) and are also reproduced in Shulchan Menachem (volume 1, pp. 308 – 310).

In other words, the Rebbe felt strongly that, out of sensitivity for the blind, and to avoid their emotional pain, every effort should be made, within the framework of halacha, to find ways of permitting their guide dogs to accompany them.

D. Goldberg

Dear Friend,

Thank you for taking the time to share an answer that will allow all of Klal Yisroel, including those who are afflicted with blindness, to be mispallel in shul, as is the right of every Jew.

Rachel Bluth

Gay Activists Threaten Gay MK’s Life Ahead of Parade

Friday, June 3rd, 2016

MK Amir Ohana (Likud), the first openly gay rightwing legislator, was assigned a security detail after he had received threats of being attacked during the Tel Aviv Gay Pride parade Friday. Ohana received the information from senior members of the Knesset Guard.

A source in Ohana’s circle told Ynet that just as he has never capitulated to terrorism and threats in the past, he will not cower this time either. The source said: “The knight of the LGBT agenda, who pride themselves on their tolerance, openness and pluralism, should ask themselves how they’ve reached such a situation facing almost the only coalition MK who’s been acting on behalf of the community for so many years, even if he is rightwing.”

Back in February, MK Ohana raised the ire of many in the LGBT community, when he chose to stay out of the Knesset plenum when the coalition voted down pro-gay legislation. The bills that were killed, and that as coalition member Ohana was not permitted to support, included banning the sending of LGBT children to conversion treatment, recognizing single sex families, and same-sex spousal contracts. One Facebook user, Alon-Lee Green, wrote at the time that despite the coalition requirement, MK Ohana should be ashamed of himself for helping to kill a bill he himself had praised. The post received hundreds of shares.

David Israel

Life Chronicles

Monday, May 30th, 2016

Dear Mrs. Bluth,

The new week was completely ruined for me when I opened my mail Motzzei Shabbat. I received what can be called an “un-thank you” letter with the writer stating that it was cheap of me to give a “religious” gift instead of a monetary one for a morning Bar Mitzvah. The writer noted that I am financially well off and should have been more generous.

I was appalled by the lack of derech eretz expressed and the harsh tone in which the letter was written.  The sense of entitlement expressed was hurtful, to say the least, and a poor example of mentchlichkeit, and what kind of message does it send to the bar mitzvah boy about appreciating gifts given and received.

I was so upset that I asked a number of people how to address this issue.  Everyone agreed that the person who wrote the hurtful note was wrong, that what I did was the proper thing and I should not take it to heart.  The underlying message was that I got to see the shallowness of the note-writer who had the chutzpah to write to me in this ugly fashion.

Nevertheless, this does not ease my pain at all.  How do you deal with this? I have always appreciated the wisdom in your words, so I ask you and your readership to guide me.

Feeling Hurt In Midwood

 

 

Dear Friend,

How sad that you received such an ungracious note for your kind gesture. There is an unwritten rule that, unless specified, discretion is left to the guest to give the gift of his or her choice – be it monetary or something practical.  I find no fault in your choice of gift for the occasion and believe that it was in good taste. The hosts of the affair responded in a low-class, boorish manner.

Don’t stoop to their level by responding in kind. It does no good to keep fanning the flames of lashon hara by sharing the situation with other; instead, pity the note writer his/her pettiness. 

Remember that no one has the right to dictate how much you spend on a gift or surmise how much you earn.  Should these people have the good fortune to make another simcha in the future, make a mental note to be busy or out of town should these opportunists send you an invite and spare yourself a possible repeat performance. 

 

***

 

Dear Mrs. Bluth,

This has been bothering me for the longest time. While it happened almost a year ago, I cannot rid myself of the sense of guilt I carry around for not speaking out and possibly making a difference in the outcome.  I will not say where I live or name the people responsible; however, it is a situation, albeit rare, that may come up at another time, in another shul, in another city.

It was on Tisha B’Av last summer when we gathered in our shul to hear Megillas Eicha that I heard a murmuring from the entrance and turned to see what the disturbance was about.  I saw a young man guided by a seeing eye dog trying to enter the shul along with an elderly gentleman. The older man tried to seat the young man near the door, the dog close by, not barking and being well behaved.  I heard the elder gentleman trying to explain that the young man was his grandson, a veteran, blinded and injured in Afghanistan, who was staying with him while he received treatment for his wounds. They were there to hear Eicha.

I heard angry voices saying that an animal had no place in a shul, voices that seemed to cover any voice of reason that may have presented itself, as the voice inside my heart was trying to do. The rabbi came down from the pulpit and asked the both men to leave saying that an animal was not allowed in his house of worship.  I watched in sadness as the elder and the younger man left, along with this beautiful, loyal animal, who was as vital to this young man who had fought for us, as a wheelchair is to a paraplegic or a prosthesis is to an amputee. All this young man wanted to do is hear the megilah in shul, to exercise his privilege as a Jew, but was asked to leave because his new set of eyes came in the form of this magnificent animal.

I know that animals are not allowed in a place of worship; however, this goes far beyond the normal code of rule.  I also know that how this was addressed was wrong on many levels. I am curious to know if there is a way for a Jewish person, totally dependant on an animal for safety and mobility, to be able to come to shul.  I have been given to understand that the animal is trained not to leave its master’s side, thus making it impossible to leave the animal outside until services are over.

 

 

Dear Friend,

This is certainly an unusual situation, and I empathize with you on how it was handled.  However, to be fair, the halachic issue is one I cannot address, but have forwarded it to a number of rabbanim. What I can address at this writing is the act of embarrassing someone in public, a sin which is tantamount to killing a person and warrants the harshest punishment.

That your fellow congregants had lost their ahavas Yisroel at a moment when it was most warranted is indicative of how insensitive we have become as a people.  This wounded warrior who lost his sight fighting for our safety, who came to hear Eicha, was cut down by verbal bullets that were as lethal as those that missed him in the war.  Words are terrible weapons that can kill the spirit just as actual bullets kill the body.  I would have hoped that some wisdom would have prevailed and the hostility downplayed to save face for both the young man and the congregation.

As I await a response from my panel of experts, perhaps there will be a reader who can share how this type of situation has been dealt with in his or her shul.

Rachel Bluth

Life Chronicles

Monday, May 23rd, 2016

Dear Mrs. Bluth,

I have just recently come into the “shidduch parsha” and have seen three young ladies who, thankfully, did not want a second date with me.  Truthfully, I am terrified of getting married!  I have heard such miserable stories about failed marriages from friends and members of my extended family who have suffered horribly during and after divorce, that I am totally soured on the topic of dating and certainly marriage.  My biggest fear is meeting someone I want to spend my life with, making commitment, getting married and then finding out after a number of children that we are not meant for each other.  My life would be ruined, I might hardly ever see my children and I would have to support a family that is no longer mine, damaging any chances of my ever getting married again, chas v’shalom.

From where I stand as a young man just starting out in the quest of finding a life partner, the odds of my making a mistake and suffering the consequences are as good as my finding someone I’ll spend the rest of my life with.  That is terribly frightening and extremely off-putting.  I have started going out because my parents expect me to, not because I want to and certainly not because I’m ready to join the circus and perform, as is expected of me.  When I read articles about “starter families,” “first wives” and “second/third marriages,” I am horrified at how acceptable it has become.  Maybe I am old school in my thinking, but whatever happened to “until death do us part”?  Where did the ideal of a “life partner for life” go?  Why is it so prevalent to hear that “Ploni is divorcing Almoni” after three years of marriage and one child when they seemed to be so perfect for each other?

I really don’t know how long I can put off the inevitable, I’m not cut out to be a player like some of the guys I know; I would love to find a nice, sweet girl with the same aspirations as myself and lead a loving, devoted and happy life.  Is that still a possibility for a young man like myself?

 

 

Dear Friend,

Your letter represents the fears of many of your peers, both male and female, who are hedging the “shidduch parsha” out of fear and concern about the future.  Just as in most things we undertake, there are no assurances about the success or failure of these endeavors, but that should not be a deterrent to trying our best to achieve our goals.

To try and assuage your fears and those of the many others out there who worry about the same things you do, I want to remind you all that we are commanded to marry and procreate by the Ultimate Shadchan who created Chava expressly as a life partner for Adam.  Hashem will guide you to find your zivug, but you must be wise enough to see her (or him, if you are a young lady reading this), even if she does not the exact visual, physical or emotional picture you had conjured up in your mind for the perfect soul mate.  If you have a certain type of person in mind for yourself and are rigid in that expectation, you may, indeed, be waiting for a very long time, while you pass up the one Hakodosh Boruch Hu has created just for you.  What I’m suggesting is that you approach this with a very open mind and without a laundry list; just go out on a date and let things evolve naturally.  Stop worrying about what you cannot control. Concentrate on your own life and not the success or failure rate of others.  That is your objective.

Rachel Bluth

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/life-chronicles/life-chronicles-70/2016/05/23/

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