To Polish A Diamond

Posted on: May 17th, 2012

Rav Ezriel Tauber says that a husband and wife are like two rough diamonds. A rough diamond can become a priceless, pure jewel, but only if another diamond is used to remove the impurities. So HaKadosh Boruch Hu puts together two perfectly matched rough diamonds. He makes sure that they have their little differences. The friction from these differences scrapes away at their impurities so they gradually become multi-faceted, pure, shining jewels.

Stigma: A Barrier To Rewarding Relationships

Posted on: May 17th, 2012

Frailty and differences in other people often scare us. Why? They scare us because we see a reflection of what we fear in ourselves or because we just don’t know how to respond. Since we can’t live with this discomfort for too long, we make assumptions about and apply labels to those we fear.

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Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities

Posted on: May 17th, 2012

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Stuff Couples Say! Stuff My Date Says!

Posted on: May 16th, 2012

Beineinu and Choice of the Heart will be holding their annual Symposium this Thursday night, May 17th, at Heichal Shlomo in Jerusalem. The focus of the symposium is creating successful relationships through a combined spiritual and practical approach. 

New Gifts for New York Hospital-Cornell Bikur Cholim

Posted on: May 15th, 2012

Students of Moriah Yeshiva of Englewood, NJ put together a Chessed project for children visiting New York Hospital Cornell

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Boundless Miracles Available For The Taking

Posted on: May 10th, 2012

Dear Dr. Respler: The holidays are a great time to learn about ourselves – the good, the bad and the ugly – and then try to make lemonade from the lemons, turn the positive into building blocks, and generally create good things from the lessons learned. The Yamim Tovim are saturated with kedushah, leading to beautifully crafted creations from what one learned and experienced during these holy, spiritual days.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities

Posted on: May 10th, 2012

Boys will be boys… but what of the bullies?

Boys, ADHD And Reading

Posted on: May 4th, 2012

In all my years of teaching kriyah and English reading, I have encountered more boys than girls who struggle with the skill. We are even subconsciously programmed to think of reading as a female endeavor. Picture a reader in a comfy chair, thinking, “Wow, what a great book! I can’t wait to share this with my friends.” Was the reader you imagined male or female? Chances are, you envisioned a female reader. The idea that the majority of readers are female is consistent with reading scores around the nation.

Acting Respectfully Always Pays Off

Posted on: May 4th, 2012

Dear Dr. Yael: Although I agree with your advice to A Passive Reader (Showing Respect Gets Results, 4-20) about how to deal with difficult people, I emphatically disagree with your decision to take the blame for the impatient frum guy who was honking his horn. If you saw him run someone over with his car, would you take the blame for that too? If you had gotten a ticket, would you have paid it? If the officer had arrested you, would you have gone to jail? I am not a rabbi, but I would be surprised if not informing means taking the blame as well.

Four Questions To Heal The Pain

Posted on: May 3rd, 2012

About a month ago, we began the Passover Seder by asking “the four questions,” which led to a narrative explaining how the Jewish people were freed from Egypt. We are now in the midst of a forty-nine day process of spiritual growth in which we prepare ourselves to receive the Torah.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities

Posted on: May 3rd, 2012

Dear Rachel, Since you helped me in the past with a really serious issue, I was hoping you’d have good advice for me again. This time the problem involves one of our children, and it’s become an exasperating and somewhat worrying situation. Let me explain. Our only daughter is ten years old, quite mature for […]

Getting Your Children To Sleep

Posted on: April 26th, 2012

Dear Dr. Yael: I am having a very difficult time putting my children to sleep at night. My four-year-old son constantly barges out of his room after he has been put to bed. This usually goes on for about an hour - no matter how many times I put him back in bed or threaten to punish him. I also have an eight- year-old who is afraid of bedtime because she can't sleep.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities

Posted on: April 26th, 2012

RIGHT versus WRONG

Above And Beyond The Court System

Posted on: April 26th, 2012

After my recent article about the difficult trials divorcing couples face within the court system (Family Issues 1-13-2012), especially when there are children involved, I received a heartfelt e-mail from a grandfather in tremendous pain over the demise of his son’s marriage and the subsequent custody battle over his beloved grandchild.

Showing Respect Gets Results

Posted on: April 19th, 2012

Dear Dr. Respler: At the recent wedding of my best friend’s son, I arrived for the chuppah early so as to secure a seat close to the front and by the aisle. I didn’t want to miss anything.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities

Posted on: April 18th, 2012

Reflection, Rebuke and Reverberations…An open letter to Deborah Feldman

Improving Your Son’s Behavior

Posted on: April 15th, 2012

Dear Dr. Yael: My five-year-old son is a very difficult child. Most of the time he will not do what I ask of him, and he has a tantrum when he does not get his way. Interestingly enough, he is much more obedient when it is just the two of us, but if the other children are around he is very hard to manage. I know that as he gets older, things will become more difficult. Thus, I want to help him change his middos now.

A King’s Ransom To Keep Him Happy

Posted on: April 15th, 2012

11-year old Avi was just awarded a trip to visit his cousins in Detroit – because he didn’t get into trouble in school or fight with his siblings for one week. The prize his parents originally had in mind was a new speed bike, but when that failed to motivate him sufficiently, they searched for a more appealing incentive.

Help Wanted

Posted on: April 5th, 2012

Dear Dr. Respler: I love my wife, who is by nature a difficult person. As a result, our seven children gravitate more to me than to her. She thinks she is always right, her favorite line being “I told you so.” This is annoying and drives all of us crazy.

Postpartum Depression

Posted on: April 5th, 2012

Mrs. D., the mother of two children under the age of four, came to see me – she was in the seventh month of her third pregnancy. This baby was unexpected. She had “difficulty” after her last pregnancy, and already tearful, she wanted me to get to know her now, so that I could help her later, when the depression hit. She was not sure she would be able to handle it all again.