Photo Credit: Russian Foreign Ministry
Maria Zakharova, Spokeswoman for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Russian Federation, Feb. 16, 2022.

Maria Vladimirovna Zakharova, Spokeswoman for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Russian Federation, on Wednesday asked the American and British media to give her their schedule of Russia’s “upcoming invasions” of Ukraine for the current year because she sure could use it.

ABC News reported on Wednesday that President Vladimir Putin had told his military forces to be ready to invade by Wednesday, but it remains unclear whether he has decided to attack his neighbor. And Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has called for a national day of unity Wednesday.


Russia, for its part, has officially denied it was planning to invade anyone but also demanded that the US and NATO not permit Ukraine to join the military alliance that was established to be a bulwark against Russian expansion.

“I’d like to request US and British disinformation: Bloomberg, The New York Times, and The Sun media outlets to publish the schedule for our upcoming invasions for the year. I’d like to plan my vacation,” Zakharova posted on her Telegram channel on Wednesday.

There appears to be enough mean humor to go around on both sides of the Russia-Ukraine border. On Monday, only hours after issuing a global statement that he had heard Russia would attack his country on Feb. 16, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy issued a clarification his spokesman, Sergii Nykyforov, who said the president, comedian by trade, was being sarcastic when he discussed the possible date of a Russian attack.

On Saturday, Zelenskiy sounded more desperate than funny when he addressed the US on live TV: “If you have additional, 100 percent-certain information about a Russian invasion of Ukraine, please share it with us. I cannot agree or disagree with what hasn’t happened yet. Right now there is no full-scale invasion of Ukraine.”

On November 13, 2016, Zakharova caught flack for her acerbic humor and was even accused of antisemitism, when she joked on Russian state TV that the US elections had been manipulated by a Russian Jewish conspiracy. Commenting on candidate Donald Trump’s stunning defeat of his rival, Hillary Clinton who practically owned the White House until the vote, Zakharova said: “If you want to know what will happen in America, who do you have to talk to? You have to talk to our people in Brighton Beach, naturally.”

Zakharova’s bio says that in her free time she writes poetry and enjoys creating miniature interiors. She has already written two songs, one of which is now included in the repertoire of Alexander Kogan. We checked – he’s not Jewish.


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