Family

When parents come to talk to me about a troubled child or teenager, I often find it helpful to explore whether or not their marriage is causing at-risk issues in their home.

Dear Dr. Yael: I have an issue and it is causing problems in my marriage. The home I grew up was not a warm one and I never received much love. For that reason, showing love to others is difficult for me – and for my husband. He is a warm and caring person and does not deserve my lack of affection. While I am working hard to change, I was wondering if you could offer some suggestions that might be helpful to both him and me. Anonymous

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Building a relationship with your children is often one of the most overlooked aspects of parenting teenagers; yet clearly, as the evidence suggests, the relationship is key to managing a teenager’s at-risk behavior and restoring confidence in the family unit.

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Active listening is only one part of the marriage equation; learning what to say and what not to say is the other half. And, it’s not just about expressing your feelings, but doing it in a way that avoids hurting the other person.

Some people are natural communicators. They know how to get across their point of view without damaging their relationship. Others (probably most of us) need some guidance on where to focus and what to steer clear of.

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Parents are frustrated by their inability to get clear information about the right thing the [X] family has apparently figured out.

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Dear Mommy and Daddy: Imagine how you would feel if you were told that, two years from today, our entire family would need to relocate to a different part of the country.

As we said, you cannot get rid of a bad habit, you can only change it. But, how?

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It is important for a therapist to focus on a person's strengths as a way of overcoming his or her difficulties.

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We like to believe that all mothers are proud when their daughters surpass them; however, research shows that this is not so.

Usually Menachem is very hungry when he gets home, and we have food prepared for him. Though logically, he should sit down happily and eat, when he is in such a hungry state logic flies out the window, and, out of frustration, Menachem will knock over and spill the food. So meal time with him involves a lot of cleaning and coaxing. And always, always, vigilance.

In Part I of this four-part series, I introduced you to Aaron and his extreme anger. I ended that article with, "I must say that as I was describing this theory, Aaron's mouth dropped open, his eyes grew wide and tears formed in his eyes as he moved closer in his chair. The only thing he could say was, "How did you know?" With that comment, Aaron and I started a remarkable relationship. With all the counselors he had been to over the years, Aaron said that no one really understood him. Here was the angry young man who didn't want to be there, fully engaged and ready to work, ready to share his pain, ready to begin a trusting relationship."

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Ms. S. is 31 years old and has been hearing voices for the past 10 years. The voices come almost every day and they tell her that she is a failure, will never amount to anything, no one likes her or respects her. Ms. S. was diagnosed with schizophrenia. At the age of 21 she was told she has a disease of the brain and will need to take medication for the rest of her life.

My love for my sister is very deep and I want her to learn to enjoy her life.

Their response changed his life.

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