Posted on: December 10th, 2008

Imagine a child on a bicycle speeding downhill. The world is whizzing by. The road takes a sudden curve. The wind whips his face and his eyes blur with tears. Suddenly, he spots a ditch up ahead. He tries to brake − but the brakes don't work! As the bike's momentum increases, it is all he can do to keep from flying off. Obstacles in his path cry out for his attention. Everything seems out of control. What chance does he have to avert the tractor-trailer heading right toward him?

Posted on: December 3rd, 2008

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Posted on: December 3rd, 2008

Sometimes our sight is blurred by the magnitude of our surroundings. As the old saying goes, "you can't see the forest for the trees." Nevertheless, this is very true. Sometimes we don't see the obvious because of other distractions. In our tefillah, we ask G-d to "enlighten our eyes". We often miss the treasures that Hashem has given us; we take them for granted.

Posted on: November 28th, 2008

If you would like to know if your marriage is relationship centered or not, the way to find out is to ask yourself about your core values. For example, what is the most important principle of your marriage? Is it your desire for money or pleasure? Do you dream about being comfortable, being honored by your spouse and having a lot of fun?

Posted on: November 26th, 2008

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Posted on: November 26th, 2008

Here's our dilemma: We have three teenage children, two girls and a boy, 14-18 years of age. Every Motzaei Shabbos, we have major negotiating sessions with each of them regarding curfew and the appropriateness of the venues they and their friends are looking to go to.

Posted on: November 21st, 2008

Are you looking for emotional first aid for your marriage? If you are, you’re not alone. Today engaged couples, newlyweds and couples who have been married for years, are feeling insecure about their relationships and looking for advice on how to make their marriages work better or simply to heal their relationship wounds.

Posted on: November 19th, 2008

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Posted on: November 19th, 2008

Anyone who has been a parent for a while understands that children will most likely display imperfect behavior from time to time. But how do you determine if your child has a serious problem with her/his behavior, one that is more than just a passing phase of rebelliousness? And once you've properly assessed the condition, how do you go about treating it so that he/she can become a respectful and productive member of society?

Posted on: November 12th, 2008

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Posted on: November 12th, 2008

We have a stringent duty to honor our parents. But are there limits? A well-known Gemara praises a Roman officer for maintaining his composure even after his mother tore his clothes and spit in his face in public (Kiddushin 31a). Many cite this story as proof that a child must passively submit to abuse by a parent. This view is mistaken and can lead to terrible tragedies.

Posted on: November 5th, 2008

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Posted on: November 5th, 2008

Electrifying, inspirational, and uplifting are some of the words used to describe the unique concert that took place on Sunday evening, October 26, in the Rose Theater of The Jazz at Lincoln Center.

Posted on: November 5th, 2008

Does the following script resonate with you? Father to mother: "How do you expect him to be frum when you let him to go to the mall? You don't stop him from hanging around with those 'bad' kids." Mother to father: "You're always blaming me! When have you ever learned with him without yelling or putting him down?" "When was the last time you said something positive to him − anything, anything at all?"

Posted on: October 29th, 2008

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Posted on: October 29th, 2008

Since the news broke more than a week ago about the arrest by the FBI of a frum, heimishe man in my hometown of Monsey for allegedly doing unspeakable things repeatedly to a girl/young woman closely related to him over a period of many years and spanning three countries, people have been asking me the same question again and again - "Could this possibly be true?"

Posted on: October 29th, 2008

When verbalized in connection with parenting, the idiomatic expression, on the same page, at times, is misunderstood. Some people believe the term implies total agreement where one of the spouses gives up his/her right to disagree on an opinion, decision or direction s/he wishes to follow. In truth, while "agreement" is definitely implied, the undercurrent is one of a supportive nature.

Posted on: October 22nd, 2008

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Posted on: October 16th, 2008

Dear Dr. Yael, I think it is imperative that you print this letter because this is an ongoing problem in many families. In these families, the children stay in their parents' summer home for the entire summer, and everyone is supposed to live happily under one roof. This can get difficult if a brother-in-law picks on his sister-in-law or vice versa. This past summer my brother-in-law called me names, causing many hurt feelings.

Posted on: October 8th, 2008

The first column I ever wrote was published in the May 1996 issue of The Jewish Observer. My topic, underachieving children and the increased rate of dropouts of boys and girls from our community, was not discussed in polite company at that time.