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July 30, 2016 / 24 Tammuz, 5776

Posts Tagged ‘Hashem’

Tefillah: A Meeting With Hashem Our Real Best Friend

Friday, July 8th, 2016

“Man’s best friend” is one of those phrases we have gotten so used to that we overlook its absurdity. This phrase, of course, refers to a furry, four-legged creature – namely, the dog. Have we ever contemplated how ridiculous this statement is? How can one say that a human being, the bearer of a soul from the upper spheres, is best friends with a canine mammal of the Order Carnivora? And, if we are discussing a Jew, who has a holy neshama from under Hashem’s Throne of Glory, which gives him the ability to connect to Hashem, it is even more ludicrous.

So who is really “man’s best friend”? The answer is G-O-D … not D-O-G! Yes, they have the same letters, but we have gotten the word totally backwards!

In many places, we refer to Hashem as our friend. For example, “Rei’acha v’rei’ah avicha al ta’azov – Do not forsake your Friend and the Friend of your father” (Mishlei 27:10). Rashi explains that the friend of our father is Hashem, who was a close friend of our forefathers. But He is not just a family friend, He is our own personal friend – “your Friend,” the verse states. We ourselves see that He is our best friend, so Shlomo HaMelech tells us not to forsake Him!

 

So Many Presents!

Last month (6-10) we mentioned that one of the prerequisites to turning to Hashem in prayer is knowing that He loves us and has our best interest in mind. We explained how we can see this love from the fact that Hashem gave our nation His precious Torah, the source of true life. But from the aforementioned verse in Mishlei, we also see that we must be aware that Hashem is our personal friend. One of the best ways to build that awareness is by contemplating all the wonderful gifts that our Friend is constantly bestowing upon us. Let us mention just a few.

If you ask, “How much is that person worth?” most people will answer based on his assets. But the correct answer is that if he has a healthy heart, liver, and kidneys, he is worth several million dollars! Why? Well, the average cost of a heart transplant is $ 1,250,000; for a liver, $750,000; and for a kidney, another $350,000. That brings us to the grand total of $2,350,000 to receive “used” organs. Studies show that approximately half of heart transplant recipients are still alive at 10 years post-transplant. A living donor kidney functions, on average, 12 to 20 years, and a deceased donor kidney from 8 to 12 years. That being the case, how much would a person pay for a brand new heart or kidney, straight from the “Manufacturer”? At least double the price! That means that we, who have “original” organs, are worth millions of dollars! And we take these wonderful presents from Hashem for granted.

But it doesn’t stop there. Do we think about that fact that He is constantly making sure that they function properly? We do not have to attach ourselves to a dialysis machine three times a week for several hours to clean our blood. Our heart pumps smoothly and effortlessly – no pacemaker necessary. Our lungs draw in wonderful oxygen – no need to drag around an oxygen tank. We do not wheeze as we breathe and coughing does not tear our innards apart. We hear just fine without hearing aids. No need to tap with a white cane or be led by a seeing-eye dog. We are able to use the facilities, our food gets digested properly, and we can enjoy the different types of food Hashem gives us. Perambulating with our wonderful legs is a pleasurable experience! Arthritis and muscle pain? Those are things we hope never to meet. Our heads are free of horrible migraines, our skin is generally not dry or chapped and, for the most part, when it is time to go to bed, we place our heads on the pillow and drift off into a peaceful slumber without too much delay.

Rabbi Eliezer M. Niehaus

Tefillah: A Meeting With Hashem – The Day Of Love

Thursday, June 9th, 2016

Before you begin to wonder what “the day of love” is, I will let the cat out of the bag: I am referring to Shavuos. “Really!” you are probably thinking. “I know it is the day we receive the Torah, a day when many stay up all night learning, a day of celebrating with cheesecake . . . but a day of love?”

But that is the truth. We begin every Shemoneh Esrei of Yom Tov with the joyous declaration: “Atah vichartanu mi’kol ha’amim – You have chosen us from all the nations. Ahavta osanu – You loved us, v’ratzisa banu – You desired us.” The Siach Yitzchok (in Siddur Hagra) explains that these words refer to the three festivals. You chose us on Pesach, You showed us Your love on Shavuos by giving us the Torah, and You desired us on Sukkos, by returning the clouds of glory after the sin of the golden calf.

How does receiving the Torah show us Hashem’s love to us?

 

Ahava Rabbah!

The bracha that we recite right before krias shema of Shachris is also known as “the bracha of Torah,” as in this blessing we ask Hashem to teach us His Torah. The introduction to this prayer is “Ahava rabbah ahavtanu, chemla gedolah v’yiseirah chamaltah aleinu – With an abundant love You have loved us, with exceedingly great pity have You pitied us.” Such a declaration is unparalleled in our daily prayers. And in the evening prayer we say that it is an eternal love – Ahavas olam. The fact that Hashem gave us His Torah shows us that He does not merely love us – it is an eternal and overwhelming love!

Then we continue with the most heartfelt plea in the entire seder hatefillah: “Our Father, the merciful Father Who acts mercifully, have mercy upon us, instill in our hearts to understand and elucidate, to listen, learn, teach, safeguard, perform and fulfill all the words of Your Torah’s teaching with love!” And finally, it concludes “…who chooses Klal Yisroel with love.”

Were it not for the great and infinite love that Hashem has for us, we would not have received the Torah, nor would we dare ask for the gift of Torah on a regular basis. Let us explain.

 

Tree of Life

Rav Chaim Volozhiner (Nefesh Hachaim, Sha’ar 4, chapter 33) explains the pasukEitz chaim he la’machazikim bah – The Torah is a tree of life for those who grasp onto it” with a parable of a man drowning in a raging river. As he is about to go under, he notices a large tree floating by and grabs on for dear life. He knows if he will let go for just one second, he will die. So too, we have been thrown into the vast waters of “Olam Hazeh – this world.” The only way to stay alive is to grab hold of the tree of life – the Torah. If we let go and run after the empty pleasures of the world, even just for a short time, we will have immediately separated ourselves from the source of life. We will be in danger of drowning in the materialism of this mundane world and dying a spiritual death. Only when we learn Torah are we considered to be alive. And the Nefesh Hachaim explains (see chapter 10) that this is because when we learn Torah we attach ourselves – figuratively – to Hashem Yisborach, the true source of life.

How does learning Torah attach us?

The midrash (Shemos Rabah Parsha 33) states: “When a person buys an object, he doesn’t buy the seller with it. However, when Hashem gave us the Torah, He told us that kaviyachol we are taking Him along with it.” In many places the Zohar notes that Torah and Hashem are one.

Rabbi Eliezer M. Niehaus

Tefillah: A Meeting With Hashem -Sefirah Days Are Chol HaMoed!

Friday, May 13th, 2016

Just two weeks have passed since we put away our Pesach dishes, but it seems like ages ago. But that is a great mistake! Did you know that Pesach doesn’t end until Shavuos? The Ramban tells us at the end of Emor (23:36) – this week’s sedra here in Eretz Yisroel, next week’s for those of you in chutz la’aretz) –

“These days of counting are similar to the days of Chol HaMoed that are in between the first and last day of Sukkos . . .”

Knowing this should make us jump for joy! All those weeks of preparation did not end after eight days –

they continue all the way until Shavuos!

But how are they similar to Chol HaMoed and what should we be focusing on during these special days?

 

49 Days of Self-Growth

Last time we saw that one of the primary purposes of the ten plagues was to awaken Klal Yisroel’s faith in Hashem so that they could act upon it. Indeed, they reached the level of being able to slaughter the Egyptian god without any fear, and leap into the raging Red Sea upon Hashem’s command. But that was not sufficient.

During Yetzias Mitzrayim they were raised to a level higher than what they were really worthy of. But once the light of that special day stopped shining, they would have fallen down to where they had been before if they had not taken immediate action. They began counting toward the day they would receive the Torah and 49 days of preparation commenced. The result was that they became truly worthy of receiving the Torah.

It is clear that intense self-perfection in many areas was necessary to merit the great revelation of Hashem’s glory on Har Sinai. But it is also possible to suggest that one of the things they focused on was living with the reality that Hashem was their Master. Thus, they internalized the clear lessons in emunah they had been shown, and returned to the level where they had been when they left Mitzrayim – through their own efforts.

This was not merely a historical event. The Ramchal in Derech Hashem tells us that during every important event in Klal Yisrael‘s history there was a spiritual light and it shines each year, on a smaller scale, when that time of the year comes around again. To gain the most from that light, we must prepare ourselves to tap into it.

 

Tapping The Light

The Maharal tells us that there is an integral difference between the meal offering sacrificed in the Bais HaMikdash on Pesach and the one that was brought on Shavuos. On Pesach we offered the omer from barley, which is animal food, but on Shavuos, the shtei halechem, the two loaves of bread, were from wheat, which is human food. This teaches us that in order for us to retain the level we reached on Pesach we must throw away our animalistic character traits. Only then can we hope to reach great spiritual heights.

One of the ways in which we act similar to an animal is in forgetting to think about the source from which all things come. Does an animal think about where its food comes from? It sees food in the feeding trough or grass in the meadow and doesn’t give two hoots who put it there. During the days of sefiras haomer we must rise to the level of being a human who understands the source of his food: the Master of the Universe.

One of the reasons Hashem wanted Klal Yisrael to offer this korban was for this reason. After all the effort the farmer invested in his field throughout the winter, there was a danger that when he reached the harvest he would pat himself on the back and think he accomplished it all. Thus, the Torah forbids him to harvest or consume his crop until after he has sacrificed the Korban Omer to Hashem. (Nowadays, when we unfortunately do not sacrifice the Omer, the new crop becomes permitted once the day when it used to be offered has passed.) This instills in him, and the rest of Klal Yisroel, the reality that Hashem is the One taking care of him.

Rabbi Eliezer M. Niehaus

Being Like Hashem

Thursday, April 28th, 2016

And Pharaoh sent for Moshe and Aharon and said to them, ‘I have sinned this time. Hashem is righteous, and I and my people are wicked.” – Shemos 9:27

 

After months of rebellion, Pharaoh finally admitted he was wrong. The Dos Zakainim explains that the plague of barad moved Pharaoh more than any other. And it was because of one factor: Moshe had warned him the hail would kill anything living. Again and again, Moshe cautioned Pharaoh to take his livestock and his slaves inside. Because Pharaoh was repeatedly warned to save the living creatures, he was moved and recognized his error.

This Dos Zakainim is difficult to understand. Why would this detail cause Pharaoh to admit Hashem was right? He witnessed the greatest revelation of Hashem’s mastery of nature and it didn’t move him. He watched as Mitzrayim, the superpower of its time, was brought to its knees. That didn’t move him. Why should this single factor have such an effect?

This question is best answered with a mashol.

The Nature of the Human

Henry Ford, while a brilliant businessman, was not known for his kindliness. In fact, he used to brag that he never did anything for anyone. The story is told that while he was going for a walk in the fields with a friend, they heard yelps coming from a nearby property. A dog had gotten caught in a barbed wire fence and couldn’t get out. Ford walked over to the fence, gently pulled on the wire, and freed the dog. When he returned to the road, his friend said to him, “I thought you were the guy who never did anything for anyone.” Henry Ford responded, “That was for me. The dog’s cries were hurting me.”

This story is compelling because Ford didn’t care about anyone but himself. He didn’t choose to be kind. He didn’t want to feel the pain of others. In fact, he tried his best to squelch this sensitivity. But it was still there. He couldn’t stop himself. He was pre-programmed to have mercy. In his inner makeup there was that voice that said, “Henry, the poor animal is in pain. Go do something!”

Even though he prided himself on selfishness, he couldn’t quell that voice inside. It bothered him to hear a creature in pain. When he heard those cries, they reached down to his inner core, to that part of the human that only wants to do good, proper and noble things. That part was touched. It saw an animal in pain and said, “Don’t just stand there, Henry. Do something. That poor animal is suffering.”

Let Us Make Man

This is illustrative of the basic components of the human. When Hashem created man, He joined together two diverse elements to form his soul. These are his spiritual soul, what we call his neshamah, and his animal soul, which is comprised of all of the drives and inclinations needed to keep him alive. The conscious “I” that thinks and feels is made up of both parts.

The neshamah comes from under the throne of Hashem’s glory. It is pure and holy and only wishes for that which is good, proper, and noble. Because it comes from the upper worlds, it derives no benefit from this world and can’t relate to any of its pleasures. The other part of man’s soul is very different. It is exactly like that of an animal, with all of the passions and desires necessary to drive man though his daily existence.

We humans are this contradictory combination. Within me is an animal soul made up of pure desires and appetites, and within me is a holy neshamah that only wishes to do that which is right and proper. The animal soul only knows its needs and exists to fulfill them. The neshamah is magnanimous and only wishes to give. These two total opposites are forged together to create the whole we know as the human.

This seems to be the answer to the Dos Zakainim. Pharaoh was a human being, and as all humans, he had a sublime side to him. He may have spent years ignoring and pushing it down, but it remained within him. What he experienced during the plague of hail was pure chesed. His enemy was concerned for his good.

There was nothing Hashem had to gain by protecting the cattle and the slaves of the Egyptians. The only motivation was generosity, goodness, and a pure concern for others. Seeing this warmed even the callous heart of Pharaoh. He understood he was dealing with something outside of the realm of normal human interests. He saw Hashem.

This also helps us understand one of the great ironies of life.

The selfish person is focused on his needs and wants. The generous person is concerned about the welfare of others – even at the cost of his own needs. We would assume the selfish person would be happy. After all, he is singly focused on what’s good for him. But the generous person has the good of others on his mind – surely he can’t be as happy. He has to worry about the good of others.

Yet just the opposite is true. The more a person is focused on others’ needs, the happier he is. The more he focuses on his own needs and wants, the unhappier he will be.

When man develops the trait of giving, he achieves inner peace, balance, and harmony. When he ignores it, he suffers. His sense of self becomes fragmented. One part of him is demanding “What’s in it for me?” and the other side is crying out “What have I done for others?” The more a person develops the nature of giving, the more he becomes like Hashem.

This why kindliness is so basic to being a Torah-observant Jew, to being as much like Hashem as is humanly possible. While it takes focus and attention to bring out the higher part of our personality, it is ingrained in our soul and so it comes naturally to us.

Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

The Merit Of Trusting Hashem

Thursday, April 21st, 2016

And Hashem said to Moshe, Why do you cry out to Me? Speak to the Jewish people and let them travel.” – Shemos 14:15

 

After months of witnessing the Hand of Hashem, the entire Jewish nation marched from slavery to freedom with flourish and fanfare.

Escorted by clouds of glory, walking through a desert made smooth by overt miracles, they traveled as one. It seemed the troubles of the Jewish people were finally behind them, and they were being escorted to their final redemption…until the clouds directed them to a dead end: the sea.

Stopping there, the Jewish people looked up and saw the Egyptians chasing after them. With nowhere to turn, they waited while Moshe called out to Hashem, Who answered back, “Why do you cry out to Me? Speak to the Jewish people and let them travel.” At that point, the entire nation crossed the Yam Suf.

Rashi is bothered by the expression Hashem used. What did Hashem mean by that? How could they travel when an entire sea was in the way? Rashi explains that Hashem was saying there is nothing that will stop Klal Yisrael because they are worthy of the greatest miracles ever known to man. Rashi then enumerates the reasons they are so worthy. 1. The merit of the Avos. 2. Their own merit. 3. The merit of the trust they had in Hashem at that moment.

The difficulty with this Rashi is that he lists all three reasons in same breath as if they are equal, and clearly they aren’t. The first two, the merit of the Avos and the Jews’ own merit, refer to overall perfection across the gamut of human activity. The avos were living, breathing sifrei Torah. We learn from their every action and thought. Their combined merit is hard to imagine.

And even the second cause, the merit of the entire Jewish people, was stupendous. While not every member had remained on the highest level, as a nation they had remained loyal to Hashem. After spending months witnessing Hashem’s direct involvement in their lives, they had grown to great levels across many different areas: chesed, emunah, ahavas Yisrael, emes.

How can we compare one single aspect – their trust in Hashem – to the merit of the Avos or to the merit of all of their actions put together? It would seem to be dwarfed by comparison. Yet Rashi put these together as if they are all equal reasons Hashem would create miracles for the Jewish people.

Hashem’s Involvement in the World

The answer to this question is based on understanding Hashem’s relationship to this world. The Chovos HaLevavos explains that because Hashem created this world, Hashem feels a responsibility, if it could be, to sustain it. Much like if I invite you to my home, it is my obligation as host to take care of your needs, so too Hashem feels almost obliged to support all of His creations. However, there are different levels to Hashem’s direct involvement in the running of this world, what the sefer Derech Hashem calls hashgacha klalis and hashgacha pratis.

Hashgacha klalis, or general intervention, refers to Hashem’s involvement in the “big picture” issues: famine, war, epidemics, natural catastrophes, and maintaining the multitude of systems that allow for life as we know it. It is a given that Hashem is constantly and permanently involved in the running of this world at that level. However, the specific details and the day-to-day running of the world Hashem has given over to a host of forces He created and maintains but allows to actually carry out the laws He set. These forces determine much of what befalls humanity.

Hashgacha pratis, or personal intervention, is very different. This refers to Hashem’s personal involvement in a nation’s or a person’s life. It includes Hashem actually supervising directly, watching over and taking care of the needs of those individuals.

General intervention is a given; it is something Hashem assures to all of creation as a birthright. Personal intervention is quite different; it must be earned. By dint of being the children of the Avos, the Jewish nation merits personal intervention – provided they keep certain conditions. One of these is that they must recognize Who runs the world. In this regard, it functions on a continuum. The more a person trusts in Hashem, the more, if it could be, Hashem feels an obligation to take care of that person, and the more Hashem will be directly involved in that person’s life. It is almost as if Hashem says, “How can I not take care of him, he relies on Me, he trusts in Me.

This seems to be the answer as to why the “merit of their belief in Hashem” was so pivotal at Krias Yam Suf. In terms of the objective weight, there is no comparison between the merits of the avos and their current trust in Hashem, but trust in Hashem operates on a different level. It alone can be the reason Hashem will save a people. It was almost like Hashem was saying, “How can I not take care of them? They trust in Me. They rely on Me. I have to save them.” And that trust alone was reason enough to split the sea.

Hashem Takes Care of Us

This is a powerful lesson. While we are obligated to act in the ways of this world, we are equally obligated to trust in Hashem. We have to go out and do our part, follow the laws of nature, knowing all the while that exactly that which Hashem has decreed will come about – no more, no less, no sooner, no later.

However, the amount of our trust in Hashem will directly affect how much Hashem will intercede on our behalf, and this may have a huge difference in many situations. For example, there may be times we don’t warrant receiving that which we need. Whether it’s health, success, or sustenance, it may well be that according to the letter of the law we don’t merit special assistance, and certainly not the right to ask Hashem to intervene on our behalf. In that situation, it may be our trust in Hashem alone that will bring Hashem’s help. When we rely on Hashem and trust in Him, Hashem, if it could be, feels obligated to take care of us.

Trust in Hashem is the basis of our belief system. It is one of the most comforting thoughts a human can have. And it is also one of the most effective ways for us to secure Hashem’s direct involvement in our lives – even in a manner we might not otherwise deserve.

Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier

Tefillah: A Meeting With Hashem – E-ZPass To Olam Haba?

Friday, April 15th, 2016

Anyone who wants to avoid tollbooth lines knows that an E-ZPass device allows you to go through without any delays. And actually, on a recent trip I borrowed one and whizzed past the booth. Suddenly, I noticed a sign telling me to slow down to 15 MPH, but it was too late. A screen notification told me that my E-ZPass had not registered.

Hmm. Okay, I’ll be more careful at the next booth. When I reached tollbooth #3843, I made sure to creep through at 5 MPH, sure that this time the light would turn green. But to my chagrin that same gloomy message informed me that I could expect another fine in the mail. What did I do wrong this time, I wondered? Oh, my E-ZPass was sideways, so the sensor didn’t detect it. I began to realize that the E-ZPass is only e-z if you know how to use it.

This reminded me of the Gemara (Brachos 4b) that seems to offer an E-ZPass straight to Olam Haba. Rabi Yochanan said: “Who inherits the world to come? The one who follows the Geulah immediately with the tefillah.” At first glance it seems quite easy. I just have to start Shemoneh Esrei immediately after I say the blessing of “Ga’al Yisroel” and presto: Instant entry to Olam Haba! But this seems quite strange. We all know that good things take hard work – so how could someone become a “ben Olam Haba” through one small action?

Indeed, the students of Rabbeinu Yonah (Brachos, ibid.) ask this question and answer that only if one understands what he is doing will one receive this reward. Here is one of their explanations as to how it works: “When a person mentions the redemption from Egypt and then immediately turns to Hashem in prayer, he shows that he is putting his trust in Hashem through these prayers. One who does not place faith in his friend will not ask him for anything.”

Through this seemingly small action, a person shows that he trusts Hashem. Since this trust is the basis of all our service to Hashem, he has turned himself into a member of Olam Haba. Let us explain.

 

Three Seminars

It states in Parshas Ha’azinu (Devorim 32:11) that Hashem came “ke’nesher ya’ir kino – like an eagle arousing its nest.” The Vilna Gaon explains that this refers to the exodus from Egypt. During the days of enslavement, Klal Yisroel had emunah, but they were in a state of slumber. When a person is asleep, even if he is blessed with the greatest skills and talents, he is doing nothing. In order to entice the Jews to sin, the Egyptians offered a brief respite from the harsh labor and oppression to any Jew who agreed to worship idols. Many succumbed to the pressure until they eventually became complete idol worshippers.

Nevertheless, deep in their hearts, a spark of faith could still be found. Witnessing the ten plagues, that spark was fanned into a roaring flame of faith, and they woke up, until they actually lived based on that faith. How?

The Haggada states that Rabi Yehuda divided the ten plagues into three groups: Detzach, Adash, and Be’achab. The commentators explain that these three groups were in truth three different seminars in emunah. Each one began in Pharaoh’s secret riverside bathroom with an introductory lecture by Moshe, who explained the theme of that session. This was followed by the three plagues that taught that lesson.

The first seminar was to teach that Hashem is the master of the world and that there are no other powers. Therefore, Moshe began (Shemos 7:17), “Bezos teidah ki ani Hashem – Through this you will know that I am Hashem.” The Egyptians worshiped the Nile River as their source of life. When Hashem turned it into blood, He demonstrated that if He so desires, it can be a source of death. They saw the same when the Nile spewed out millions of frogs that wreaked havoc and made their lives miserable. And to prove that Moshe was not just a great sorcerer, Hashem turned every speck of dust into disgusting and painful lice. (Sorcery does not work on something smaller than barley.)

Rabbi Eliezer M. Niehaus

Why Must Jewish Women Wear So Much Black and Gray?

Tuesday, November 26th, 2013

So you and your husband get stranded on a deserted island. Your clothes are tattered. Everything besides what you’re wearing is lost at sea. You need to go shopping. No one is going to see you, but of course you’re going to need to dress tzniusdik and even in the spirit of the law regarding tznius.

In the distance you see a structure. As you come closer, you see that it is a building. You walk in and lo and behold it is an abandoned women’s clothing store. Not only that, but as you look through the clothing you realize that everything there is absolutely tznius and in style. WOW! This is like Gan Eden and it’s all free.

Be totally honest, which section of the store would you go to? Would the black and white with a few shades of grey section immediately catch your eye? Would you almost not be able to contain yourself with the mere thought of the fun of matching so many different shades of black?

How surprised would you be to find yourself more attracted to the section with a diverse selection of colors? Would you start getting creative with matching different colors and trying on all sorts of different combinations or would you stick to black and white and feel like that is perfect and a true reflection of yourself and your taste?

My hunch is that the majority of women would choose to look at all the different colors and try on numerous creative outfits until they find what they feel really suits them and fits their personality. I do also think that some women would go to the black and white and some shades of gray section. Not because they feel like they have to go there, but because they really like it. That is more than perfectly fine. But again, for most women I believe they would go to the colorful section.

So now I ask you; what section do you go to in the store when you go clothing shopping? Don’t answer that, but do ask yourself which sections you pass up that you really want to go to. So why are you going to the black and white with a few shades of gray section?

My wife tells me that black makes people look slimmer. Is that the reason? I can hear it, but I don’t think that’s the prevalent reason. Is it because of a tznius issue? I don’t think so. Unfortunately, my hypothesis is that you go to that section because everyone else is going to that section. If you were to go to the colorful section, you would stick out and not be part of the system any more. It has gotten to a point where many women have been doing this for so long that they can no longer even get in touch with the part of themselves that wants to wear something colorful.

Hashem created such a beautiful world. The Gemara says there is no artist like Hashem. Look at the way Hashem chose to express Himself in the world. It is so vibrant and full of color. Look at the trees, the animals and the birds. There is nothing more exotic, diverse and stunning. Even when creating people, Hashem was so colorful and creative. Every single person was created different with different tastes and personalities. Women were created with a sense for beauty and aesthetics. Men only get as far as feebly attempting to match a tie to their suit.

When you buy flowers for Shabbos, do you buy black and white flowers with some grey ferns? How would you sensitively tell your husband that the next time he buys you black and white flowers, he’s doing all the cooking for Shabbos? What colors do you choose for bar mitzvahs or weddings? How about furniture and carpets? How did you dress your daughter before she began dressing in black?

What made you switch from pinks and purples to dressing her in black on black with black shoes? Do you connect more to the joy of dressing her at a young age or to the way you have to dress her in 6th grade? It is truly amazing that wherever you turn, you’re choosing all different types of colors, but when it comes to clothing, your taste suddenly changes to black and white with a few shades of gray. Does this bother you?

Bezalel Perlman

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/opinions/why-must-jewish-women-wear-so-much-black-and-gray/2013/11/26/

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