Editor’s Note: This is the twelfth installment of a multipart series on the life and times of the author’s grandmother, Freida Sima, who as a young woman came to America on her own in the early 1900s and made her way in a new country. The eleventh part (“Freida Sima, Max, and the Golden Years”) appeared as the front-page essay in the Aug. 19 issue; part thirteen will run in September.

In July 1974, Freida Sima packed her bags and returned to Brighton Beach in Brooklyn. Over the years she had spent most weekdays in the apartment she and her husband Max (or Mordche, as she always called him) had enjoyed together, but since his death in 1970, the Queens home of her daughter, Shirley, had become her home base.

Although arthritis made it increasingly difficult for her to walk, the kitchen remained her domain. It gave her pleasure to feel appreciated. Shirley and her husband, Chaskel, worked long hours in the travel business, and their young daughter (the author of this series) enjoyed the benefits of a “full time Baba.”

“It’s like raising another child,” thought Freida Sima, recalling Shirley’s teenage years. At least this one wasn’t running off to Young Socialist meetings like Shirley had, but rather to Orthodox youth activities and Soviet Jewry rallies.

More of the family was moving to Queens, and again she had family nearby. Her brothers Elish and Benny now lived ten minutes away. Her sister Sheindl and brother Tuleh from the Bronx and brother Abie from Washington Heights visited often. Brothers Srul and Leibush lived in Israel, and Freida Sima visited them there the summer after Max’s death. Sheindl had also come that summer, taking her to visit Sheindl’s late husband Naftula’s grave in Holon. When he got sick in America, Naftula dreamed of being buried in Israel and Sheindl spent her savings to fulfill his last request.

“But I’ll be buried with the family at Wellwood,” she promised Freida Sima, referring to the Long Island cemetery where the family had purchased plots decades before.

“And where will I be buried?” mused Freida Sima.

After Max’s death, Shirley and Chaskel had bought an apartment in Israel “for the future.” Suddenly the future was now. Soon after his 70^th birthday, Chaskel sold his travel agency partnership and the family prepared to make aliyah, with Freida Sima set to join them a few months after they made the move.

* * * * *

Freida Sima loved America, her home for 63 years. However, she knew that at her age it was unrealistic to stay after Shirley moved. “And it’s not as if I don’t have brothers in Israel,” she thought, although she would miss her siblings in America. She loved them all so much, as she did their children.

Before Shirley and Chaskel left, the family gave them a gala send-off at a Queens café, with everyone signing the menu as a parting gift. They sang and danced, Benny holding in his arms his little grandson, a redhead like Freida Sima’s Shirley and like Freida Sima’s mother, Devorah, had been.

Thinking about her mother, Freida Sima couldn’t help but reflect on the fact that the family had become widely scattered: Abie had a daughter in Israel while he lived in New York. Srul had sons in New York and Denmark while he lived in Israel. Sheindl and Naftula’s daughters lived in Israel and Sheindl went back and forth constantly. And now she herself would soon be in Israel.

The next four months passed quickly. Two weeks before she left, Freida Sima gave up the Brighton apartment, dividing her furniture among relatives and moving in with her cousin Max Scharf in Washington Heights. Abie and his wife, Minnie (Max’s sister), lived in the same building, and Freida Sima ate with them, savoring her last days in the U.S. and reminiscing about the past with the first brother she had brought to America 54 years earlier.

The family threw Freida Sima a last birthday party in America. Surrounded by her brothers and her sister, she cut the cake Abie had ordered, on which the words “Happy Birthday Sister-Mother” appeared in chocolate icing. Indeed, she had been both sister and mother to her American family, both before the war, when their mother was far away, and afterward, when she was gone forever.

“That’s what it means to be the oldest of ten children,” she thought, and of all her siblings, the one who suddenly came to mind was little Mendel, born between Abie and Benny, who had died in an accident when he was two.

* * * * *

Before she turned around she was living in Israel, in Ramat Gan, once again running the kitchen. In addition, she was going to ulpan along with Shirley to learn Hebrew. For Shirley – the language major – learning Hebrew turned out to be a lost cause while Freida Sima, at home since childhood with the Yiddish alphabet (which in fact was Hebrew), had no trouble reading texts.

But understanding modern Israeli Hebrew was another matter, and she never picked up enough to understand news programs. When Judy came home from school once and asked her why she was watching an Arabic program, Freida Sima answered that it was all the same to her – she couldn’t understand either language when spoken rapidly.

Srul and Leibush visited constantly, but it was sometimes difficult to follow their Yiddish, which was as peppered with Hebrew expressions as hers was with English ones. And the siblings found they had less to talk about than they’d first expected due to a lack of mutual experiences and the age gap – after all, when Freida Sima left Europe for the U.S., she was fifteen while they were five and three. It was easier for Freida Sima when the American family came to visit.

But Freida Sima’s joy at her siblings’ visits turned to grief when she received news of her brother Tuleh’s death from illness in America. Like many Israeli homes of that time, the Ramat Gan apartment had no telephone and Shirley first received the news when shiva was almost over. She decided to give her mother the news after thirty days so that Freida Sima would only have to sit shiva for an hour rather than a full week.

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After the Jewish people came to the Land of Israel they were commanded to “keep making aliyah” – to go up to Jerusalem 3 times a year. Rabbi Yishai Fleisher is reunited with Rabbi Mike Feuer for Spiritual Cafe where they discuss the end of the summer, the passing of Gene Wilder, the Torah portion which includes the laws of kosher and non kosher animals, the searching for the right spot and building of the Temple, and the laws of the false prophet. Reconnect with the Torah portion and the Land of Israel on this weeks exciting program.

Yishai Fleisher on Twitter: @YishaiFleisher
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With the increase of hostilities on the Russian-Ukrainian border in recent weeks, 211 new immigrants from Ukraine landed Tuesday at Ben Gurion Airport.

Most came from the embattled regions in the eastern part of Ukraine, arriving on the 19th flight sponsored by the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews (IFCJ) since hostilities broke out between the two countries.

“There has been a significant increase in calls from potential Olim to the IFCJ representatives in Ukraine and we are doing everything to give them the best possible service so that they can begin new and secure lives in Israel, which was and still is the home for any person who is part of the Jewish people,” noted Rabbi Yechiel Eckstein, IFCJ president.

Approximately 4,000 immigrants have fled to Israel from Ukraine on flights sponsored by the organization since December 2014. Among those who arrived Tuesday were 37 children who are to begin their studies in Israeli schools in two days, including nine in the first grade.

Natalia S. arrived in Israel with her mother and son, and said that she was forced to leave the city of Marinka in the Donetsk region in Eastern Ukraine after the extensive bombing in the city that began in April 2014. The building where her family lived was bombed and some of their neighbors were killed.

Natalia explained that her family’s Jewishness was kept secret by her grandmother who had survived the Holocaust, while her husband, Natalia’s grandfather, was in a concentration camp. As a result, she says, “we knew we had Jewish roots but did not have the documents to prove it.”

According to Natalia, during one of the family’s visits to the Holocaust Museum an employee at the site advised her about which archive to search in order to find documents that would prove their Jewish roots.

“Because of the advice we were given, we went later to the archive and found my grandmother’s documents. In the documents, we read that she had changed her name and her father’s name, from “Alia” and “Avraham” to “Lisa” and “Peter,” she said. Natalia, her mother, and her son are planning to settle in Akko. Among Tuesday’s group of new olim there were seven babies, including two who were only six months old. The oldest person on the flight was age 82, and the average age of the group was 34. The preferred destination for the immigrants was Haifa, where 42 of the new arrivals elected to settle.

Most of the olim came from the Dniepropetrovsk region, which has become one of the preferred destinations for refugees escaping the embattled areas in Eastern Ukraine because of its proximity and the fact that it is still in Ukrainian hands.

The IFCJ assists the Olim to Israel with special grants of $1,000 for each adult oleh and $500 for each child, in addition to financing the flight to Israel. This support is provided by the organization in addition to the standard basket of benefits each immigrant receives from the Israel Ministry of Aliyah and Absorption. The organization also arranges the absorption of the new immigrant families with the various local authorities prior to their arrival in Israel, recruiting locals to accompany the new olim as they seek housing and employment and settle in to their new surroundings.

233 North American new Olim arrived home to Israel this morning, Wedensday, August 17, 2106, on a Nefesh B’Nefesh Aliyah flight.

Approximately 50,000 people have made Aliya with NBN since it was established.

The honor of being number 50,000 was given to Rivka Geltzer, 22.

Geltzer has a degree in economics from Columbia University in New York, and will joining the IDF. She received her new Teudat Zehut (ID card) directly from President Ruby Rivlin.

From the photos you can see that around 75 of the new Olim will be joining the IDF.

What more can we say beyond, “Welcome Home!”

Photos by Ehud Amitun / TPS

The Knesset Finance Committee, headed by MK Moshe Gafni (United Torah Judaism), on Monday approved the transfer of an additional $80 million to the Ministry of Aliyah and Immigrant Absorption, mainly for the purpose of finding housing solutions for elderly immigrants.

Some of the funds are designated for encouraging entrepreneurship among new immigrants from France, Belgium, and Ukraine.

Of the amount allotted, about $68 million are designated for housing solutions for elderly immigrants; $4 million for encouraging entrepreneurship among new immigrants, including employment fairs and seminars for new immigrants, coupons for Hebrew lessons, absorption-related activities in local authorities, encouraging Aliyah abroad by strengthening the professional capabilities of potential olim, and adding more operators to the information call center for those interested in making Aliyah; $2 million for the implementation of the government’s decision to allow members of the Bnei Menashe community entry into Israel, and $1.3 million are designated for increasing the assistance provided to immigrant soldiers who are recognized by the IDF as lone soldiers or as soldiers who are eligible for family stipends.

In two previous posts, I addressed responses to reasons to not make Aliyah and how to handle Aliyah when it comes to dating. In this post, I address a very common issue that comes up in marriage regarding Aliyah. One spouse wants to make Aliyah and the other does not. If you are experiencing this struggle, then this post is for you! If someone you know is also going through this, please share this post with them.

It is critical first to determine why your spouse does not want to make Aliyah. As noted in my first post in this series, there are some cases where it may not be feasible. One common case is when there are aging parents and you (or your spouse) are the one who needs to be there for them.

Barring any similar issues, an open dialogue is needed. Fighting, yelling, screaming are never good options for a discussion/disagreement and especially in a life-changing-event discussion. There need be thought out ideas for this discussion with each spouse voicing their own concerns and ideas. Choose a location where you can legitimately speak without being interrupted. TURN OFF YOUR PHONES! Do not give yourselves a time limit for the discussion, but allow for as much time as possible. (Up to this point, these ideas apply to MANY areas in which a couple wishes to discuss important issues. These points do not relate just to an Aliyah discussion.)

If you are the one who wants to make Aliyah and your spouse does not, it is important to listen to your spouse’s concerns. Do not sit there with answers in your head, waiting to pounce with all of your reasons. Remember, that if you rearrange the letters of the word L-I-S-T-E-N, you get S-I-L-E-N-T…to truly listen, you need to remain silent, both in your mind and in your speech!

Once you have listened to your spouse’s comments, it is your turn. At this point, simply look into her/his eyes and say: “I will miss you after I make Aliyah!”

OK, seriously…..

It is necessary to acknowledge the fears/hesitations/issues that are holding your spouse back. Aliyah truly requires the commitment of BOTH spouses for it to work. After listening to your spouse, rank, on a piece of paper, the severity/importance of each reason. Do not attempt a global answer but rather a pinpointed series of answers that address each item. Areas such as security, finances, culture, family, comfort-level, social status, etc., are all common items on such a list.

After that, it is important that you present your reasons why you want to live in Israel. Be prepared. Think. Ask your spouse to listen with an open mind. List on paper what are your reasons to make Aliyah. Include in your reasons the trials and tribulations that you expect to face and want to face TOGETHER. Love of Israel and love of your spouse are critical in this discussion. As much as it is important for you to hear your spouse, it is just as important for him/her to hear you. I cannot tell you why YOU want to make Aliyah. I can only tell you that it is crucial to sit and think about your reasons, before you sit with your spouse.

At the end of the Haftara this past week, we read the following from the Navi, Yirmiyahu:

זָכַרְתִּי לָךְ חֶסֶד נְעוּרַיִךְ, אַהֲבַת כְּלוּלֹתָיִךְ–לֶכְתֵּךְ אַחֲרַי בַּמִּדְבָּר, בְּאֶרֶץ לֹא זְרוּעָה

(” I remember for thee the affection of your youth, the love of thine espousals; how you went after Me in the wilderness, in a land that was not sown”)

Without a doubt, making Aliyah requires a leap of faith. It requires a leap of faith on TWO levels. The obvious one is Hashem Himself. You need to put your faith in Hashem (as is the case in every single decision and action) that He will help you along your path. In the Torah, we are told over eighty times that Hashem wants us in His land. He Himself says that He will help you.

The other leap of faith, which may not be so obvious is that your spouse, who does not want to make Aliyah as much as you do, also has to be able to have faith in you to guide you and your family on this journey. You need to be prepared mentally and physically for this challenge.

Yes, as we know, ארץ ישראל נקנית ביסירין, that the Land of Israel is acquired through difficulties. But, in truth, nearly everything in our lives that truly matters is also filled with anxiety and difficulties as we take that first step.

One thing that I highly recommend is taking a trip to Israel as an integral part of this process and discussion. Sitting in Starbucks in your neighborhood is no substitute to travelling the Land; meeting the people; asking questions face-to-face with people in the professions you are in; and the list is endless! Countless people are able to pinpoint in their mind the moment they realized that they fell in love with the one who would one day become their spouse. The same thing happens with visits to Israel. Visit…travel…talk…discuss…and fall in love! There is no substitute to infusing yourself and your spouse with the love of Israel than to actually BE in the Land. Many of the issues that are raised by your spouse can/should be addressed on your trip. Speak to Olim! Speak to new Olim and “Vatikim” (“long-time” Olim—I don’t like to use the word “old.”) Speak to your friends who have made Aliyah. Speak to people in your profession. Speak to residents of various communities. Most people are eager to share with you what their thoughts are about Israel.

In short, do your due diligence and homework as a part of this discussion! You and your spouse may be on different pages…but you are in the same book. It is time to bridge that gap, get on the same page and do your best to bring the dream to fruition. But, never let your dream become your family’s nightmare. Be aware; be careful and be mindful of all of the ideas/thoughts/opinions in the family. In the end, G-d willing, your family will come HOME and join the rest of your family here. You will be helping to change the future direction of your family for generations to come.

If after some discussion, it is clear that it is not happening NOW, understand that Israel isn’t going anywhere. She will be here forever, G-d willing, when the two of you are indeed ready. Don’t give up. The reasons (even the very legitimate reasons) to not go now may dissipate and disappear over time.

I wish you and you entire family the peace and sense of purpose in making this life-changing decision. It is not an easy decision. But your mutual love and that of wanting to keep the Word of Hashem should be your guide and your Rock.

More Jews are fleeing the rising terror and anti-Semitism in France. On Tuesday 145 new French immigrants landed at Ben Gurion International Airport in Tel Aviv.

The 38 families range from infancy to age 88 and include 78 children. They arrived with the assistance of the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews.

The organization is helping new Israeli immigrants in addition to the regular benefits received by olim from the Jewish Agency for the State of Israel.

Most of the new olim — 111 of the immigrants — came from Paris. Many left behind not just their homes, but successful businesses as well, which they had to sell prior to their aliyah.

Those who arrived Tuesday cited the drastic rise in anti-Semitism in France as the main reason for leaving their homes.