My friend warned me that my sourpuss attitude and nitpicking could end up making my husband feel inadequate and would take a toll on our relationship. And besides, what did I expect of a man who’d been living on his own for quite some time and was used to doing his own thing.
I took her words to heart and it worked like a charm. Since I can’t be the only “older” bride to experience this type of frustration (the later we marry, the more set in our ways we tend to be), I am writing to alert others to not allow the little things to get in the way of a happy and satisfying marriage.
Lesson to live by…
Counting sheep instead of sleepless hours…
Dear Rachel,
As a young mother of three children under four, all of whom thank G-d sleep through the night, I don’t understand mothers who jump awake at the slightest sound their babies make and are ready to feed them at all hours of the night. And they’re always telling me how lucky I am to have “good kids.”
Well, if you ask me, it really has little to do with luck. New mothers need to learn to keep their infants out of the master bedroom after about four weeks of age. (A baby monitor can alert mothers to their crying babies in another room.) Chances are they’ll fuss a little and then fall right back asleep, unless you run to feed them at their first kvetch – which mothers are more apt to do when their babies are near at hand.
Most people fail to realize that sleep is even more important for a baby’s wellbeing than food, not to mention that a well-rested mother can more easily cope with baby’s demands than an exhausted one. So mothers, do yourselves and your kids a favor: don’t delay placing your little ones in their own room and you’ll see how fast they will learn that nights are for sleeping, not for feeding.
There’s no reason that a 4 to 6 week old baby shouldn’t be sleeping for a stretch of at least six nighttime hours (12am to 6am) and a 3-month old for 10 to 12 hours (6pm to 6am, or 7pm to 7am).
Always worked for me!