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For now, it might be prudent to keep your feelings private and take time to explore what it is about your relationship that you feel would not withstand this nisayon. Remember that a marriage’s strength is based on several things, including trust, respect, love, and the personal relationship between husband and wife. So ask yourself if your mutual relationship is built on a solid foundation. For instance, is your wife too tzniusdik for your taste? If so, is this hurting your level of Yiddishkeit?

Even if only one of the important aspects I’ve addressed is lacking in your life, tackle it in order to gain security in your relationship. Please try to get the personal help you need and, if warranted, the marital help as well. Study all avenues of Yiddishkeit before making such immense life decisions. And it is crucial that you repair any and all negative parts of your marriage.

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Hatzlachah in seeking the professional guidance that you need, and may Hashem help you see the truth and feel more secure in your Yiddishkeit!

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Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.
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