web analytics
July 3, 2015 / 16 Tammuz, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Technology: Important But Not Indispensable

Respler-122112

Dear Dr. Yael:

I am part of the “over 50” crowd and am having a really hard time with computers, cell phones and the rest of the modern-day technology. I work as a well-paid secretary, but am stuck in the same position with little room for advancement due to my poor computer skills. All the while I see all of my younger colleagues, with less experience, getting raises because they are more technologically advanced. Despite taking courses to improve in this area, I am finding it hard to succeed.

Even my 10-year-old grandchild seems able to master these technological challenges! My children have cell phones and text when the need arises, but texting is very difficult for me. If I press the wrong button while writing a text, I have to start all over again. Some of my friends share my frustration, while others seem to be coping beautifully. I know that work is beginning to suffer, as there are always new programs to learn.

Can you offer any suggestions about how to cope with this issue? Baruch Hashem, I have a great marriage and my husband – who shares my difficulty with technology – is a professional and a real talmid chacham. I am also blessed to have wonderful relationships with my married children, their spouses and my grandchildren.

Please help me overcome my technological challenges.

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated:

I truly empathize with your problem, as I too am part of the “over 50” crowd and my husband and I have great difficulty with modern technology. I don’t know if misery loves company, but my young clients love to tease me about my technological shortcomings. One of my young clients, a modern technology whiz, said to me the other day, “Dr. Respler, you are a great therapist but unfortunately you are technologically impaired.” I laughed, but knew he was right.

By the way, there is no diagnosis for those of us in the “over 50” group that are technologically impaired. The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) IV does not consider this malady a diagnosis. (lol as they say!)

On the bright side, your great marriage and wonderful relationship with your children, in-law children and grandchildren are accomplishments you should be celebrating and are worth much more than being well-versed in how to use a specific computer program.

Please remember that we were not brought up with computers. When I went to college there were only a few computer courses offered and no one had a computer at home. They were just too expensive. Since I majored in psychology, I did not even take a computer course. While I sometimes regret this, since it would have helped me in many ways, I needed to focus on required material – like those relating to science and therapy.

Reviewing my education, I have to say that in high school I was on the “academic track,” and never took bookkeeping. But I was able to convince the high school administrators to let me take typing. Trust me – bookkeeping would have been much more practical for me than algebra, trigonometry or all the math and science courses that I took to prepare for the regents exams. Even though I did well on those tests, thanks to my friends’ tutoring, I don’t know to this day what the useful value is of these subject matters. To me cooking, bookkeeping, typing and sewing would have been more helpful. Unlike Satmar yeshivas, the yeshiva high school I attended did not offer cooking and sewing. The Satmar curriculum on this issue was on the right track. After all, doesn’t cooking and sewing help any young woman in the real world – even a career-oriented woman?

Another one of my tech-savvy clients said, “Dr. Respler, don’t call yourself technologically impaired; I don’t want you to see yourself as impaired. Say that you are technologically challenged.” I guess that sounds better than impaired.

Back to your situation: I do not mean to not give you the proper empathy, but please remember that you seem to be very successful in the important areas of life – namely in your family and other relationships.

There is a downside to all the technological advances society has made: people no longer need to talk to each other. Today one can e-mail and text, having virtually no human contact with others. Here’s an example, albeit an uncommon one: Some couples that I treat fight through texting. And they will sometimes sit near each other at dinner and, instead of talking, they text their friends. This does not make for great marital communication.

About the Author: Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Respler will be on 102.1 FM at 10:00 pm Sunday evenings after Country Yossi.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Technology: Important But Not Indispensable”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Palestinian Authority Arabs climb a section of Israel's separation barrier in the village of Al-Ram, as they try to avoid crossing Israeli-controlled checkpoints to reach the al-Aqsa mosque compound at the Temple Mount in Jerusalem's Old City to attend Friday prayers in the fasting month of Ramadan.
Arab Killed in Rock Attack on IDF Commander, IDF Soldier Hurt at Qalandiya
Latest Sections Stories
Rav S. R. Hirsch

Last month we outlined how a few years after Judah Touro’s death a public movement was inaugurated by the citizens of New Orleans to erect a monument to his memory, and that opposition to this tribute came from a number of rabbis throughout the country who claimed that Judaism forbade the erection of any graven […]

Singer-Saul-Jay-logo-NEW

Marceau suggested a dark reason for his wordless art: “The people who came back from the [concentration] camps were never able to talk about it…. My name is Mangel. I am Jewish. Perhaps that, unconsciously, contributed towards my choice of silence.”

Anna Henriques, who hopes to one day head back to Jamaica, says, “Rabbi Raskin must be willing to respect what exists in Jamaica. The way to the future is to gently bring in the traditions of the past and at the same time embrace the idiosyncrasies of the Jamaican people.”

The Silver Platter has it all: gorgeous photography, oodles of useful tips and, more importantly, incredible recipes that you will find yourself making again and again.

It may be that seeking to connect with the past is rooted in the impermanence and impersonality of modern life.

It is very hard to build a healthy marriage when you do not have good role models.

My best book is one that hasn’t been published yet.

We tend to justify and idealize this division with pride attributing these tendencies as demonstrating a higher level of kedushah.

Everyone in the kehilla can get involved, she added, and mothers can network with each other.

On her first ever trip to Israel last week, popular radio talk-show personality and clinical psychologist Dr. Joy Browne, whose spirited broadcasts regularly attract millions of listeners across North America, paid a visit to OneFamily headquarters in Jerusalem in order to learn more about the physical and emotional challenges faced by victims of terror in […]

With the famous Touro Synagogue, a variety of mansions, each with its own distinct personality, as well as the beautiful coast, Rhode Island makes for an excellent vacation spot.

To avoid all this waste and unnecessary anxiety, let’s break the task down step by step and tackle each one at a time.

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler
Respler-062615

It is very hard to build a healthy marriage when you do not have good role models.

Respler-061915

When they all try to speak at once, I will ask them to stop and speak one at a time.

In America one has to either be very rich or impoverished to receive care – the middle class seems to get taken advantage of.

Growing up, I saw the respect my parents had for each other. Then I got married…

When I complain, she tells me it is retail therapy.

This therapist kept focusing on how “I could do better,” never on how we could make the marriage work.

Unfortunately, the probability is that he will not see a reason to change as he has been acting this way for a long time and clearly has some issues with respecting women.

Returning to visit my family for Yom Tov has become torturous for me.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/technology-important-but-not-indispensable/2012/12/20/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: