It was a sad tragedy yesterday. What drove a man in his 50s, a security guard whose past years have been dedicated to protecting others…to come and take the life of two people? He has four children – what will become of them?
And I have learned the sad feeling of knowing that my children have grown enough to reach the point where they worry about us, where they need reassurances that we weren’t hurt; that we are fine.
I have a friend who was in the army when she was young. There she met her husband. They both served. In a lot of ways, as hard as it was for me to learn what I needed to learn when Elie went into the army, it was harder for my friend and her husband. It took me a while to understand this. I thought it was hard for me because I didn’t understand what was happening, what was expected of me.
By that logic, they should have handled their son going into the army easily. Been there, done that; nothing new. What my friend explained was that they never thought the day would come that their son would have to serve, and as he did a year or so later – go fight in a war.
“We served so that our children wouldn’t have to and we just never thought that when the time came, our children would have to serve too.”
Yesterday, I had a taste of that. I didn’t worry so that years later my children wouldn’t have to…but there was something inside of me, unknown until yesterday, that believed my children would never have to worry as I did, never call to make sure I wasn’t hurt or worse.
I don’t know if I’m explaining this clearly – it’s just a thought in my head…an awakening…to have your children call you…and while I love them all dearly…it was a side of their returned love that I didn’t want to ever see. I didn’t do anything to cause their worry and yet, I’m sorry for it.
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